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Original poster

Where are my fucking hell shoes, and other delightful phrases from my 3 year old, HEEELP!!

300 replies

gaelicsheep · 02/02/2010 23:41

What have I done? I have been known to swear out loud, in front of him, on occasion but FGS my 3 year old has a mouth like a sewer all of a sudden. I've done all the advising, telling people to ignore, don't rise to it etc. etc. But what if he blurts this out in Tesco, or god forbid at nursery?!

I have to get to bed so I'll leave you lovely ladies to ponder this one and will bump tomorrow if necessary. But someone please reply and tell me he'll forget these words if I ignore him. Please!

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Kitkatqueen · 02/02/2010 23:57

My dd1's 1st word was Prada, - I was so proud Her second word was shit

dd2 the other day, playing on the nintendo " oh bugger I missed the blooming thing"

Hey, she's using the words in excellent context for her age! Stress less, ignore it and if that doesn't work use toy removal / whatever you usually do for punishment, it will soon lose its appeal

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail · 03/02/2010 00:03

DS (5) to something on the TV: "Ugh, you fucking idiot."

You are not alone.

I went absolutely ballistic at him though and believe me, he's not done it since (within my earshot).

DawnAS · 03/02/2010 07:51

LOL and I'm sorry that I found it cute but I can TOTALLY understand why you're upset about it. My DD is only just coming up to 8 months but already we have stopped swearing (not that we did much anyway...) in front of her.

But having observed my nieces and nephew, I find that it's normally Grandparents that do the trick when it comes to swearing... Particularly my parents who I would NEVER have sworn in front of when I was a child. One VERY disapproving look from them turns the kids into shivering wrecks (well for 5 mins) but it does tend to work and they don't swear (within earshot) again!

Obviously doesn't work with all children, or Grandparents for that matter, but works in our family.

Of course this may only work for older children, but it definitely worked for my niece when she was 3.

Tee2072 · 03/02/2010 07:57

Personally, I don't get it. They are just words. Yes, they be less than nice words out of a small child but to worry about the child saying them in public or at nursery? Surely there are more important things to worry about?

Goblinchild · 03/02/2010 08:06

Children copy what they hear.
That's why I can't tell my class to fuck off, or say 'fucking hell' when I drop something heavy on my foot at work.
So if you want to prevent him picking up bad words you mustn't use them or you lose the authority to tell him not to.
Not complicated, like always pressing the button before you cross the road instead of dodging the cars. Set a good example.

neversaydie · 03/02/2010 08:52

Just as he was learning to talk, DS spent one whole weekend saying 'damn!'. To the great delight of my husband, who pointed out that damn was not one of his swear words, so it must have been picked up from me. We didn't react, and by Monday he had got it out of his system.

Later we had good mileage from saying to him that there were some words which were not suitable for little children, and that we would try not to use words he shouldn't pick up, and he had to try not to pick them up if we did.

DS has just, aged 10, moved to an all-through school, and his view on life is widening a bit. My approach now is to check that he knows the meaning of the words, which is usually pretty effective in stopping him using them. He told me the other day that he would never use the f word or the c word. When I asked him what he thought the c word meant, it became clear that he thought it was 'crap'. I decided not to explore that one any further!

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 09:58

Gosh Goblinchild - I'd never ever have thought of that.

Tee - I worry about it because of people like Goblinchild judging me as a person and a mother. I'm only human after all.

Thanks all.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/02/2010 10:00

DS1 used to do this when he was 3.

He also used the word "fukkin" in his written work in Y2 (aged 7). I can't tell you how proud I was...

Tee2072 · 03/02/2010 10:01

gaelicsheep I guess I just don't worry about being judged. I know I'm a good mother. Who cares what other people think? In fact, I laughed at Goblinchild's response because, no shit Sherlock!

Sazisi · 03/02/2010 10:02

Were you embarrassed because he spelled it wrong, Soupy

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 10:03
Grin
OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/02/2010 10:06

Not at all because they teach them spellings phonetically and it showed initiative.

His teacher could barely contain her laughter.

midnightexpress · 03/02/2010 10:09

I remember when ds1 was really small, maybe 18 months, wrestling with the straps of ds2's car seat. My mum was there and after a few minutes we heard this teeny voice in the corner saying

'oh budder, oh budder'.

I've tried to be a wee bit more careful since then but we're only human.

assumetheposition · 03/02/2010 10:10

DS1 said fucking hell a few times a couple of weeks ago.

I blame my BIL.

I said nothing, didn't even ackowledge that he'd spoken.

He hasn't said it again so far.

Coca · 03/02/2010 10:11

dd1 once told her nursery teacher that "Mummy says Fuckit". Said nursery teacher decided to tell me in front of all the horrified mummies at home time

electra · 03/02/2010 10:13

Oh how funny

dd2 (6), recently wrote down on a piece of paper 'is fuck a bad word?' little monkey!!

phdlife · 03/02/2010 10:14

bloody hell I think goblinchild should get off MN and start writing her parenting book. Genius!

Lionstar · 03/02/2010 10:17

Having same problem with DD 2.11, who has picked up the delightful F-word from her Dad (he's not a big swearer, but has been known to use the word in the heat of the moment). She uses it specifically to mean when you are lobbing something into a pot or bucket, so at first I tried to convince her the word was 'flick'. Sadly she has obviously picked up my anxiety and started shouting it out the other day. As ignoring/re-directing was not working I decided to come down hard on it, she got a big talking to about it being a word we don't use and 2 minutes in timeout (after suitable warnings)

She hasn't used it again since, but did say 'we say flick don't we mummy' at the dinner table the other day. Wonder if I have done the wrong thing though and this is going to come back and bite me??

gemmummy · 03/02/2010 10:21

ooohhh goblinchild, i'm glad you're here to help the inadequate and quite frankly, thick ladies who couldn't have figured that out by themselves. I will remember your sage advice next time I get the urge to swear like a navvy in front of my toddler.

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 10:22

It's so hard isn't it Lionstar. I know DS is only doing this to get a reaction, and I try so hard not to give him one (while stifling laughter if I'm honest). But DH exploded at him yesterday, thereby giving him exactly what he wanted.

The F word was preceded by "bloody" everything - yes a stressed out, hormonal, pregnant Mummy is a really bad influence . I've tried everything with that - including time out - and nothing has really worked. On balance I think ignoring will be the thing that works, but I reckon it'll take time.

OP posts:
Pollyanna · 03/02/2010 10:24

my dd came home from nursery once and told me
"mummy I said fuck at nursery today".
I was so proud.

I think all you can do, is try stop saying things in front of them, and explain that they are not to use those words and mummy is naughty to use them too. I still swear but my dcs who are now older don't swear.

wubblybubbly · 03/02/2010 10:34

DS (3) went through a stage of saying 'bollocks' every time something didn't quite go his way.

We tried ignoring it, no avail, asking him not to say it, no avail, getting cross, no avail. Eventually, after months of monitoring ourselves and saying 'bother' he finally stopped, although it still slips out of his darling little mouth every now and again.

I'm hoping he won't pick up 'knob jockey' but he's in the car with me quite a bit...

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 10:40

For the sake of clarity, I should say that I am trying very hard not to swear in front of DS. It now sounds like I swear like a trooper - I really don't, it's just been a difficult few weeks...

You're right though Pollyanna, and I've done just that. DS knows very well that it's a naughty thing to say - the little blighter picks me up on it now. "You said "bloody" Mummy! Did you say "bloody"?".

Stupid is another one I can't stand, but it seems that to get rid of that - other than explaining that it's a nasty thing to say about someone - I'll have to ban every film or kids TV programme out there. I'll have only finished telling him not to say it, when he'll watch something apparently innocuous like Swallows and Amazons and then proudly declare - "Mummy, she said stupid book! Did she say stupid?".

OP posts:
woodyandbuzz · 03/02/2010 10:45

Don't worry if he swears at nursery. They will have seen it all before - you will be quite unlucky if the staff have attitudes like Goblinchild though! (It's unlikely).

MarineIguana · 03/02/2010 10:47

I try not to swear in front of DS, but I do love a good swear and it sometimes slips out. And anyway, they hear it from elsewhere - in the street, childless friends etc. If DS picks one up we just tell him it is a grown-up word and people will think he's very rude if he says it. I also say "oops! that was a rude word, naughty mummy, I mean bum/bother/etc."

Amazingly he seems to understand and stops using those words, though he has come out with a few choice moments. One good one was when a toy broke - he was about 3 - and he lamented "oh dear, that's fucked". (Pure DP by the way)