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Original poster

Where are my fucking hell shoes, and other delightful phrases from my 3 year old, HEEELP!!

300 replies

gaelicsheep · 02/02/2010 23:41

What have I done? I have been known to swear out loud, in front of him, on occasion but FGS my 3 year old has a mouth like a sewer all of a sudden. I've done all the advising, telling people to ignore, don't rise to it etc. etc. But what if he blurts this out in Tesco, or god forbid at nursery?!

I have to get to bed so I'll leave you lovely ladies to ponder this one and will bump tomorrow if necessary. But someone please reply and tell me he'll forget these words if I ignore him. Please!

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Oblomov · 03/02/2010 13:31

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UndomesticHousewife · 03/02/2010 13:44

At 2.5 years my ds dropped something and said 'fucks sake' very clearly. I nearly dropped on the floor.
I stopped saying 'fucks sake' whenever something happened and thouigh he said it a few more times after that he's not said it since.

Though one day he did say 'shut up bloody dog' to our (much loved!) pet.
Must be more careful...

assumetheposition · 03/02/2010 13:50

My nearly 4 year old has an amazing vocabulary but last week asked me what ugly meant.

I felt all warm inside that he had gone this long without ever hearing it

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 14:03

Oblomov

I think if you read the thread you will find plenty of responses to my posts. I am not wwc and I find that accusation utterly bizarre.
Not quite sure what I have said that is so outrageous tbh.
In fact my sentiments are much the same as Paolosgirl's last post.

Paolosgirl · 03/02/2010 14:29

And I can assure you Oblomov that I am not WWcare either...!

MeAndMyMonkey · 03/02/2010 14:31

Springheeled - I know, didn't mean to pull your post apart - it was just the 'silly' element of things that vaguely surprised me as I still can't work out how it could be offensive to anyone (except perhaps the inhabitants of Sillyville or something!?).
For what it's worth I don't think anyone loves their children swearing, but sometimes it happens and as long as it's not habitual, not the end of the world.
My own darling child came out with what sounded suspiciously like 'fucks sake' at the tender age of two. I was horrified but stifled a laugh am afraid.

mehdismummy · 03/02/2010 14:37

i am wwcare!!!

MarineIguana · 03/02/2010 14:39

I think silly is OK if used in a nice way - I can see how it could be used demeaningly but it isn't demeaning itself in the same way that stupid is. We do call DS a silly sausage etc. - but are just as likely to call ourselves silly. And it would be about funny things, not used to tell him off.

NorkyButNice · 03/02/2010 14:46

This really isn't a smug or sanctimonious post, but I honestly don't understand what is difficult about not swearing in front of your children? Assuming you don't have Tourettes or other medical issue...

Do you swear in front of strangers in shops, or your parents, or at school pickup? If you can control yourself then, why not in front of the people who's language you are really influencing?

KERALA1 · 03/02/2010 14:47

I always thought my primary school teacher friend was abit twee with her "fiddlesticks" and "dear mes". Now I have children I can see why and have made a real effort to be the same. Felt incredible smug when an old lady crashed dramatically into the back of our car and I managed to say nothing worse than oh bum. Its is hard though fucking hard.

MarineIguana · 03/02/2010 14:51

Well.... me and DP swear quite a lot (not in a constant f-this, f-that kind of way, more in a comedy lighthearted way, but we do...). We have jobs where it's normal to swear and be informal. Yes, we woudn't swear at the bank clerk or at a posh dinner with the queen, but it's in more everyday situations that really annoying things happen like you trip over the cat and drop your cereal, or are in a rush to go out and can't find your sodding keys. So it slips out sometimes.

Perhaps it's easier not to swear if you're very organised, rarely get stressed and aren't a big swearer anyway.

Paolosgirl · 03/02/2010 14:54

Agree Norky

MarineIguana · 03/02/2010 14:54

Should add that I do do a lot of "twee" non-swearing as well like oh bum, oh dear, oh bingly bong!

thedollshouse · 03/02/2010 14:59

I don't swear in front of ds but I do say "bloody" without realising I am doing it. The other day ds (5.6) was playing up and I said to him "will you just get up the bloody stairs without arguing" Ds replied "I am getting up the bloody stairs and then I will go in the bloody bathroom, brush my bloody teeth and put on my bloody pyjamas".

I told him that he shouldn't say bloody and I was naughty for using that word. Ds said "I know its a rude word mummy, I'm copying you so you can hear how horrible it sounds". I am a terrible mum.

wastingaway · 03/02/2010 15:08

thedollshouse, what a clever boy!

Re: Silly, when daddy shakes his head and chuckles 'silly girl' in utmost patronising way to any idea, then silly is incredibly damaging, moreso as it prob wasn't intended to be and won't always be identified as such.

I'm not fucking silly.

pandora69 · 03/02/2010 15:09

At 22 months old my daughter went to the shops with my sister. My sister could barely control the tears of laughter when she got back that my daughter had exclaimed 'ow fuck!' in the shop when she stubbed her toe.

For 2 days I was mortified.

Then we made the breakthrough discovery that she was getting her t and k sounds mixed up, and she had actually said 'ow, foot!' Made me feel much better. I still offered an explanation in advance though, so people didn't think my child swore.

Pineapplechunks · 03/02/2010 15:16

Children swearing = not attractive, not to be encouraged etc but...where are my fucking hell shoes is such a classic, it really sums up the frustration of not being able to find the damn shoes.

I will be thinking that every time I can't find my shoes from now on.

matildarosepink · 03/02/2010 15:19

Ah, swear, don't swear. They'll hear it somewhere.. the thing is, it's what people (ie influential adults at school, in public -eg police -, place of work etc) will think of them if they're a bit free with the swearing later on.

It's up to parents, surely, to teach them we've all heard it, and some people are shocked by it, and some not. The point is, there's an acceptable time and place.

I swear in front of my children sometimes, but usually apologise if they've heard me. I do avoid it, but am no angel. I've made it clear that it shouldn't be part of their everyday language, as it will influence what people will think of them. It's then up to them.. I have to say, I don't like to hear small children swearing at the top of their voices anymore than I do adults or young people in public. Haven't ever thought it funny I'm afraid...

upandrunning · 03/02/2010 15:21

I love the bit in Love Actually where she comes down the stairs saying "Where the fuck is my fucking coat".

PrammyMammy · 03/02/2010 15:43

On Saturday i was decorating a hall for a party, and my niece was helping out. She is 4. She said. "where are the fucking balloons?" To which i replied, "what was that?" she then said "where are the balloons?" So she knew what she had said was wrong. I ignored it after that.
Last week a friend told me her dd (5) came through from the kitchen and said "Mummy that dog meat smells like fanny." She didn't know where to place herself, and asked her dd if she knew that was a bad word, she didn't even know what it meant at all and it was her friend who had said it first.
So maybe they don't even know it is swearing and have just picked it up. My ds just turned 2 and repeats every word, so i am biting my tongue often.

HarderToKidnap · 03/02/2010 15:47

I remember fierce negotiating with my mother when I was in my tweens - I really wanted to be able to say "bloody". I was allowed to say bloody from the age of 14!

Incidentally, I am a big big swearer now. My parents, who I never heard say a bad word during my childhood, are now huge swearers and apparently always have been in secret. So it's genetic, innit.

sweetnsour · 03/02/2010 15:50

My first sentence, while pondering that episode's plot conflict in The Magic Roundabout, was:

"Mummy, Dylan's a stupid cunt."

Why I didn't grow up to be Charlie Brooker, I don't know.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 15:53

"Mummy that dog meat smells like fanny."

Also agree with Norkys post

Allthe8s · 03/02/2010 16:15

I worked in an office of lawyers for years where the language was absolutely terrible plus having been a sweary mary from birth (one of my first words was shit - copying my mum who pricked her finger with a nappy pin when changing me) I was doomed to have a kid whose first word was a swear word. DD1 (3.3yrs) was told off about something and she stormed off upstairs muttering "for fucks sake" under her breathe. Part of me was so proud she had got to 3 before she said anything rude and it was in the right context but my blood ran cold as I knew she could only have picked it up from me! I have curbed my swearing so well since becoming a mum but I do swear very quietly (clearly not quietly enough!) under my breathe as I walk away sometimes! Thankfully she has yet to turn into the guttermouth that her mother is having not said anything since......and I am even more careful now and have refrained from muttering to myself unless I know DD1 is well out of earshot!

TheElephant · 03/02/2010 16:23

i have never sworn in front of my kids.
Ever.
You just need to learn to control yourselves