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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Any one else who actually LIKES having all boys?

130 replies

tide · 23/12/2009 16:26

I can't tell you how sick I am of all the demonising of boys that goes on in mum circles. When I was about to have my third boy all I got was pitying comments about how brave/foolish I was. Got me so worried. And all so unneccesarily. Who says boys are always more unruly/messy/loud/sports crazy/obtuse etc etc. Mine aren't. They sit and draw for hours, they cook, they give the best hugs and chats... all the things I was told I would be missing out on if I didn't have girls. So far all I've missed out on is endless fights about what to wear, moans, whinges and psycho warfare. Why did no-one tell me boys could be so lovely? That's not true. Before the first was born the old Irish lady next door told me. But I didn't believe her. Now I do.

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AitchTwoOhOneOh · 29/12/2009 11:55

here's the thing, though, as cuddly as boys are and as lanky and adorable as they no doubt will be in comparison to the hideous female teenage years, at the end of the day women who have only boys will be mils to women like us.

tbh i think that's why everyone clenches up so much over this issue. it's got nothing to do with cuddles now and everything to do with the potential loss of 'power' to another female in the future. you can try to deny it, but it's true that our husbands mothers have to work harder at their relationship with their dils than a mother has to work with her daughter.

pigletmania · 29/12/2009 11:58

I was thinking of similar lines Aitch what sort of MIL will i make he he he or monster in law he heh

pigletmania · 29/12/2009 12:00

Used to be a TA in a secondary school and i tell you there were some hormonal and horrid boys and girls no different really, each with teenage angst of their own.

Lizzylou · 29/12/2009 12:01

Aitch that is very true, there is a definite power struggle between most MIL and DIL's.

My two are going to be celibate Monks and live with me forever, no dirty gerties are getting their claws into my precious male offspring

traceybath · 29/12/2009 12:06

I think aitch has got it right.

I have 2 ds's and now a baby dd and part of me thinks - fab i will get to be an involved grandmother/not kicked out by a dil because I now have a girl.

I know this isn't always the case but honestly you read all the mil threads on here and my heart drops.

I adore my boys but was delighted to have a girl too.

But I do think that boys are less wanted nowadays - you very rarely hear people say they want a boy for their first dc anymore.

pigletmania · 29/12/2009 12:19

I admit tracy i did want a boy but got dd lol, i so thought i was having a boy as there are lots of males on my dh side and was like oh at the scan but now dd is here i love her lots and wouldent change her for the world. Men have got a lot of bad press lately and are being demonised in the media, i know that the Daily Mail writes a lot of articles about it, and science developing ways of having babies without needing men makes me

pigletmania · 29/12/2009 12:22

The poor MILs on the AIBU thread, what with feeding their grandkids chocolates at christmas or interfering a bit too much i feel sorry for them, they tend to be put in a bad light. I am sure that there are some lovely ones, i have a lovely mil.

Lizzylou · 29/12/2009 12:25

To be perfectly honest, in our family it is my Mother who drives me/us nuts. She is the one interfering and giving the DS's chocolate just before lunch etc ( at eating chocolate at Christmas! I am relaxed about that to be honest anyway).

I will try and emulate my MIL who is very kind, loving and very supportive without being demanding and interfering.

Or maybe I will just turn into my Mother, in which case watch out for the AIBU threads in about 20 yrs time.

TheMollyRogerAndTheIvy · 29/12/2009 12:28

I have 2 and would happily have had a third. But I am a trollop tomboy who has always felt happier in the company of boys.
The only downside for me is the whole toilet wee-smelling-strongly thing...

TheMollyRogerAndTheIvy · 29/12/2009 12:30

The MIL thing upsets me. I am fortunate to love my MIL and to have a lovely realtionship with her.
Readng threads on here terrifies me about whaty my future might hold.
I say 'might' because i wish to make no assumptions about the sexuality of my boys or their future desires to father children..

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 29/12/2009 12:41

the mil things on here depress the living daylights out of me. mind you, mine was really odd with me and pushed for this big tug of love between dh and myself that became so peculiar that they didn't speak for years. i'm still trying to sort that out now...

TheMollyRogerAndTheIvy · 29/12/2009 12:49

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 29/12/2009 12:51

aaah, thank you. i think it's the only time i've ever had a half-decent name, mol.

alypaly · 29/12/2009 13:00

2 boys of 17 and 21.5 . i wanted girls initially but now my boys are my life. They are so close to each other and are my little men(sorry big men ) now, as i am a single mum. We all look out for each other and there is hardly ever a cross word. DS1 is now bringing steady girl friend home so it is now getting a bit like having a daughter around. its lovely,wouldnt swap it for the world.wish i could have had more

alypaly · 29/12/2009 13:03

herbietea...mine always say they love me too at the end of a phone conversation, even if they are with the girlfriends or friends,they are so verbally affectionate and always give me loads of hugs too

neveronamonday · 29/12/2009 14:25

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Buddleja · 29/12/2009 14:49

Love love love love being a mum of all boys I adore it!!!

In fact (dare I admit it) I didn't want a girl and I didn't realise quiet how much until DH brought DS2 into the recovery room after he was born and told me 'We have another boy!!' (he was born under GA so I didn't know till DH told me) I felt a great rush of happiness that the baby was a boy or it could have been that he was alive I'm not sure (too many drugs in my system)

I am hopeful that if DS2 had been a girl I would have been just as delighted, But I have a pretty crap relationship with my mum and I was worried all through each pregnancy that I'd have a DD and the same crap relationship with her

WilfSell · 29/12/2009 18:20

The MIL thing is interesting. I hope never to have power struggles with my DiLs, should there be any (3 boys here). But how would I know? Of course, to me, they will seem wonderful and all the DiL's anguish will go unsaid, except on here (etc.) and I will be oblivious...

I always assume, though, it is because the MiLs are a little bit too invested in their son's lives, with insufficient to do themselves, or perhaps not enough love from their own partners, or not at all. It can't be right to expect emotional gratification from any of your kids, surely? I dunno. I'm not there yet: like everything with kids, you probably don't know until you know...

flowerstar · 29/12/2009 20:11

I am a mum of 3 boys and 1 girl. I had a little late baby when I was 42. When I found out I was pregnant all I wanted was another girl. When at 16 weeks I discovered I was expecting a boy I have to admit, and I am ashamed to say, my stomach dropped for about a minute. But I have to say my youngest son is the most loving and demonstrative of all our children and he is an absolute joy to have. I would not change him for the world and for anyone expecting a baby boy be happy for you are going to have the best time. Boys I find wear their hearts on their sleeves and what you see is generally what you get. I love my daughter to bits as well but never be disheartened if you only have boys, you are very priviledged.

alypaly · 30/12/2009 01:14

having a bad week with mine this week...so im right off boys and men

DrZeus · 30/12/2009 01:31

Got 2 boys - DS1 (8 today ) and DS2 (6). Can't imagine having girls. Wouldn't change it! Drive me mad and love 'em to bits.

saladfingers · 30/12/2009 12:38

I had 2 DDs first and would have been quite happy with another as i thought i 'knew' all about girls however i then went on to have 2 DSs. Now that's a handful irrespective of gender, 3 under 3 at the moment. The boys are different to the girls but equally gorgeous and very loving. At this stage the youngest 2 (boys) are the most noisy and boisterous but to be honest i think its an age thing and not gender related!I dont think that many children turn out exactly like their siblings even when they are the same sex.so i'm looking forward to growing old with all my wonderfully different children around me.
p.s. after the first 2 DD my DP was constantly getting jibes about surrounding himself with hormonal women and needing 2 bathrooms. Now people feel he's redressed the balance and is part way there to his own 5 a side football team! We've learnt to ignore tactless people, we dont really have the time to listen these days!

Original poster

tide · 30/12/2009 20:45

ha. I saw that too. but it's exactly what gets to me, this assumption that boys are rougher wilder etc. just like all the t-shirts sating little terror (boy little princess (girl). when did our culture get so stereotypical again? it's like the 60s never happened. I know it's driven by marketing, but what makes me mad is that all the brain/biol research feeds into it: boys are more brutish, develop later, are more expendable, Daily Mail rant style. How come all the greatest poets/novelists artists/fashion designers are male then??? And no, they weren't all gay either!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

tide · 30/12/2009 20:50

by that I meant this, post by PootleTheFlump Mon 28-Dec-09 21:47:28
re a mob celebrating the boisterousness of her boys. this seems to me as mad as celebrating the docility of girls!

OP posts:

neveronamonday · 03/01/2010 22:26

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