Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Any one else who actually LIKES having all boys?

130 replies

tide · 23/12/2009 16:26

I can't tell you how sick I am of all the demonising of boys that goes on in mum circles. When I was about to have my third boy all I got was pitying comments about how brave/foolish I was. Got me so worried. And all so unneccesarily. Who says boys are always more unruly/messy/loud/sports crazy/obtuse etc etc. Mine aren't. They sit and draw for hours, they cook, they give the best hugs and chats... all the things I was told I would be missing out on if I didn't have girls. So far all I've missed out on is endless fights about what to wear, moans, whinges and psycho warfare. Why did no-one tell me boys could be so lovely? That's not true. Before the first was born the old Irish lady next door told me. But I didn't believe her. Now I do.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LynetteScavo · 25/12/2009 21:54

Why, thank you.

They are!

MerlinsBeard · 25/12/2009 22:07

3 boys is fabulous!! 3 children is hard

pigletmania · 26/12/2009 09:35

Each sex has their good and bad points not all girls are bitches and nasty and not all boys are rought and aggressive. I have a dd 2.9 who is so loving and wonderful which i am thankful for, dont know what she will be like in a few years but he ho. It would be lovely to have a little boy but i will be happy whatever sex it is and love them unconditionally, just waiting on the scan and d/c than we can get trying again hopfully .

Mooncupflowethover · 26/12/2009 13:34

I adore the very bones of my 2 boys. V. happy mummy of boys here.

Sassybeast · 26/12/2009 15:29

You'd get the same idiotic, crappy, stupid and innacurate generalisations if you had all girls as well - bitchy, not loving, blah blah blah.

Enjoy your boys and ignore those who have nothing intelligent to say

Original poster

tide · 26/12/2009 18:53

Thing is, there are a LOT of mums out there who do genuinely think girls are best, and as far as I can see its either a feminist thing, or just because they think they're in some way more civilised and easier to have around. What do you say to one of those, esp if they're a friend??!!

OP posts:

pigletmania · 26/12/2009 19:54

My mums like that she preferrs girls, i have a dd and she said ooh would'nt it be nice to have another girl so that they can play with each other and share a sisterly bong , she does not exactly share that sisterly bond with my Auntie. She said that 'wouldn't you like another girl, they are so nice and gentle and share that bond with you. I was like no would love a boy actually and boys are lovely too, and told her this. It is so irritating, her sister on the other hand preferres boys and would rather boys. But me i am happy whatever now, sorry still a bit emotional

verybusyspider · 26/12/2009 20:02

I have 3 boys and would love a girl so I wouldn't continue to be told about how different they are, I would KNOW, then I could tell them what I suspect that they are all different and its not just a gender issue.

I have a brother, there is 15months between us, I did everything with my brother, I was a complete tomboy played hockey and rugby at school, love camping, sailing and hiking - I'm convinced if I had a girl she most likely be the same as thats how I'd bring them up, my mum is the same.

When mine are being boisterous, stubborn and messy I love the fact that my mum compares them to me as a child weird I know but it takes away some of the gender specific behaviors that people tend to label boys with.

My 2 (hard to say about ds3 as he's only 6 months) are very energetic but also extremely loving, creative and enjoy all the things people seem convinced only girls like like reading and puzzles. I think I lot of girls would like to fly paper airplanes, kick a football and swing from a tree but some parents don't tend to do that with them - it the same way people look at us strangly when ds2 (just 2) brings his doll everywhere with him, I have been told by one mum 'it'll make him gay' and 'was I hoping for a girl' WTF?!?

I also hate the fact that some mums (usually ones with boys and girls) excuse their boys behaviour when they are being a handful as just being a 'typical boy' no its just bad behaviour

I'm rambling now - nice to have a vent, I have to be honest though I would like to have dc4 and I would Like a girl, I'd just like to experience bringing up a girl for myself and see if they are different although I love my children to bits and wouldn't swap them for the world, I bled heavily throughout my pregnancy with ds2 so was just so relieved he arrived safely and ds3 ended up very ill in hospital at 4 wks old - kind of puts it all into perspective... all academic dh says no more 3 is enough, I think it was the 18 month age gap between each one that put him off!

jellybeans · 26/12/2009 20:04

'Thing is, there are a LOT of mums out there who do genuinely think girls are best'

I bet most of them have only girls? I didn't really see the 'appeal' of boys till I had my own boys, having had no brothers and my mum 'preferred having girls' as she had loads of brothers. Now I have boys too it has been so nice for me and my mum to see how nice they are and what we were 'missing' by not appreciating boys before!!

verybusyspider · 26/12/2009 20:09

tide - I just read your last post, my SIL has 2 girls, just as she wanted and I genuinely think she thinks they are best. I made mistake of saying once (after ds1) I'd quite like a girl and therefore she thinks I agreed with her. I have loads of comments about how much hard work my 3 must be, her 2 are very quiet which does make mine look wild and unmanageable - I think the inlaws are the only people I feel very self conscious about my boys behaviour as I feel they are all being compared.
I have no idea what to say back tho - let me know if you find out!

daisychainXX · 26/12/2009 20:31

I love our little boy so much, he is happy, healthy, playfull, cheeky, loving and he can though a 2 years old strop just as good as any other boy or girl.
It just the same as all the family always asking WHEN we will have another one? What ever we have boy or girl one or two or more it is never right in some peoples eyes... But my very limited edition little boy is just prefect in our eyes! and thats what matters!

Original poster

tide · 27/12/2009 10:20

very busy spider: it's a bit of a no win, isn't it. If I say mine are actually sweet and quiet most of the time, it's like I'm in the docile is best camp. if I revel in their fun-ness then it's like I'm confirming the view that they're harder work. Have to say though, that the way lots of mums I know bring up their girls doesn't look like much fun: victorian, in fact, with all the obsessive crafting and prettiness. Maybe it gets to me so much because I'm a child of the non-gender specific seventies. I just cant stand the colourcoded separate lives children are encouraged into to now. If you set them up with different toys etc from the beginning, how are they ever going to learn toplay together. Perhaps that's my biggest worry about being a single sex family, that they won't learn to play with girls.

OP posts:

pigletmania · 27/12/2009 10:45

OOOOh my dd is a complete tomboy, only wears dresses for occasions, preferres rough and tumble and being out in mud not a tinkerbell make up set in sight. Even though she has seen me putting make up on and dressing she displays absolutely no interest. Well i was a complete tomboy when i was young, used to like He man, guns, action man and tree climbing, my dad used to say that i was like 10 boys suits me fine.

pigletmania · 27/12/2009 10:52

When i trie to put her hair up in bunches or put ribbons in it, she takes them off, so much for being able to dress up a girl

MumtoEliane · 27/12/2009 15:44

I have a friend who is a teacher and has a 2 yr old girl. She was running around in a coffee place and the mum kept saying, please stop, come here, etc. And the toddler not paying attention, and she told me: "see if she was a boy you wouldn't have any of that, they are more obedient". Now I know she is a great mum and she must talk from experience because she is a teacher of 5 and 6 year olds. Is not that boys or girls are best. If you raise them well they have different ways of behaving, maybe she has seen that a 2 yr old boy is more obedient, but then girls TEND to be more difficult when teenagers. What I am trying to say is that all boys and girls go through phases, even if they are very well behaved they will have their moments; both sexes!

Original poster

tide · 27/12/2009 19:57

dear piglet mania: did you dream of being able to dress her up girly style?

OP posts:

verycherry · 27/12/2009 20:49

I have 3 boys 16, 14 and 2.4, like an earlier poster my big boys tell me they love me constantly, regardless of where they are/who they are with, always end a phone call with 'love you mum'.

Ds3 is just utterly scrummy and adorable, am sitting here 38+1 pregnant with ds4 thinking he may put in an appearance tonight and can't wait to meet him!

Have had endless comments re: having 4 boys blardyblardyblardy.... all water off a ducks back now. My friend has 5 boys, was always yearning for a girl, eventually had her 4 months ago and has been surprised to find she does'nt feel any differently about her than she would have had she been another boy.

Echoing what other posters have said childrens behaviour/attitudes etc are surely mostly due to parenting, that has certainly been my experience.

I think boys are fab, and am naturally more drawn to boys but thats probably cos I have just boys am sure would be the same if I had just girls. I actually think its quite special to have all the same, my big boys are just amazing with my little one - do everything for him even change stinky nappies (long may this continue!!)

I love my boys!

verybusyspider · 27/12/2009 21:54

tide - I worry about how my ds's will relate to girls being from a single sex family but I think thats down to the way I bring them up to respect and play with different children. dh isn't too bad and he had a brother

I had a lovely day today with family, all my cousins and their mix of children, 3 of them have one boy and one girl, my auntie had 3 girls and my other cousin 3 boys, they all told me gender specific differences where rubbish, my eldest doesn't tell me anything ie what he did at preschool, I commented that I'd been told that was a boy thing, cousin told me her 3 ds's told her everything and auntie said her eldest dd used to tell her nothing - I think people like to generalise, personally I'm getting more and more irritated by the way people like to put children into general boxes.

Day with the inlaws and well behaved nieces tomorrow hope mine behave!

pigletmania · 28/12/2009 10:52

Yes i did but nevermind eh whatever she feels comfortable with

Mishy1234 · 28/12/2009 18:11

pigletmania- I've just seen your post. So sorry to hear of your m/c and to have offended you. I wasn't saying I'd be disappointed if I have a girl, just that in my head I'd like another boy.

It took us 8 years to have DS and I had an early m/c after our first IVF cycle, so I do understand where you're coming from. I do however think it's natural to have an idea of whether you'd like a boy or a girl, but that doesn't mean you're not grateful for the baby you have. A baby is a baby afterall and a precious gift.

Original poster

tide · 28/12/2009 20:37

verybusyspider: "I think people like to generalise, personally I'm getting more and more irritated by the way people like to put children into general boxes."
irritated is the word. I think a lot of the negative comments are code for 'I really can't see the fun in that/how did you manage to have so many children anyway/i need to make myself feel better about my life when I see you' ? else why do they feel the need to put you and your boys down?

OP posts:

muppetgirl · 28/12/2009 20:50

I love every last inch of all my boys -I have 3- and wouldn't change what I have for the world. My house is loud, energetic and great fun but most of all alive with the sound of my wonderful boys. Dh and I would love another dc, people do ask if we'll try again for a girl to which I reply no, we'll try for another baby. I would love to have a girl but equally wouldn't mind having another boy. People just don't seem to believe me.

WilfSell · 28/12/2009 20:57

sorry but nobody noticed the two little girls 'sharing a sisterly bong'. Made me laugh out loud.

Just thought I'd point that out. As you were.

verybusyspider · 28/12/2009 20:58

muppetgirl - I feel the same about dc4, I have boys, I love my boys if I got another one I'd be chuffed to bits, plus I have all the toys and clothes he would ever need but a girl would be lovely too, in my cons list to having 4 is having to (1) tell work and (2) having 9 months deflecting 'trying for girl' comments and then the horrible 'are you disappointed?' after they arrive - yes had that one many times, why would you say that to someone who has just given birth?? and what do they expect you to say... yes?!?

tide - I think you are right the comments are a reflection on a persons ideals and how they view it. My new years resolution is to focus on the positive comments, had some lovely ones today about ds's

popsycal · 28/12/2009 20:59

I have three
not a girl gal
##boys are fab

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6