Can you lot help me with a new strategy for mealtimes because the whole experience is becoming utterly objectionable for all concerned.

[Slubberdegullion]

I can feel my gut twisting up into a ball of tension before every meal time because I know it is all going to be fraught.

Every meal (apart from breakfast) regardless of what I serve is met with a constant stream of moaning, whining, complaints, up and down from the table like a bride's nightie and then finishes with THEM setting goals for themselves

"I'm going to have two more mouthfuls and then it's pudding"

How did it all get so unpleasant? I have obiously made a grave error somewhere along the way. They hate eating and I hate cooking for them and then sitting with them while they protest at how ghastly it all is.

I need to start again I think.

They are 4 and 5. The 4 yo is a fussy bugger, the 5 yo is somewhat better but has her 500m badge in whining.

Do you think he is hungry when you sit down for dinner? I ask because I have genuinely been very suprised at the small amounts the dds serve themselves and then eat even when it is something they love.

I think that for them they are having their main meal of the day at school (where they do get pudding ) and even with just a small fruit snack after school they are genuinely just not that starving hungry when we sit down to eat at 5-5.30pm. If I then serve up something that they don't fancy they seem quite happy to just go without.

I can't say yet that this doesn't bother me, but with my sensible hat on I reckon that it's a healthier attitude to food.

When I say great guns I mean that meal times are happy and relaxed affairs now. They absolutely are not eating everything I cook and serve for them, it's my behaviour that has changed radically. There has been the added bonus that some foods are being eaten now that would have been refused before, but we are a long way from them tucking into squid and beetroot

I do think he's hungry because if I put pizza in front of him I know he would eat it!!!

Will just keep plodding away - I can see it will be a long road!!!

And as for squid and beetroot - devil's food!!!! Bit of meat and veg would have me dancing on the table - lol!

Have just read most of this thread - am hoping it can help me!
My DS (3.8) has a limited list of things he will eat. we can do 7 days of different evening meals at a push, but no more and he has screaming fits if I try anything new. I'm a bit worried that my DD (22mo) will end up being just as fussy as him as I ony serve up what DS eats, and don't give her a wider range IYSWIM - I can't face cooking 2 different meals for them (DH and I eat a lot later, so usually completely different food).
So the question is - when do I introduce new stuff? If I do the family bowls (great idea BTW) should I serve eg pasta (liked) with sauce (disliked) and not offer any choice eg pesto - liked? and if I introduce new, previously disliked food it seems unfair to say - eat this or nothing...I would hate to be served something that I really dislike and not be allowed anyting else.
Grr it's so compicated!

Have unsweetened rhubarb on stand by as pudding for times when main course isn't eaten.

thank you
going to try some of these
will report back

Hi I occasionally talk to the wall like shirley valentine
but help in preparing food worked for us and they are good cooks they wont starve, imagine they are trying to condition you like a pavlovs dog by whinging dont give
ps used new brand of tagliatelle last night for meal cooked as usual had with nice sauce husband plods on poor man ds and dd spit it out go yuck, I sayeat up take a bite myself and go yuck
poached egg on toast all round

Wow, wow, wow what a brilliant thread. My DS is 2 and I partially embraced the BLW thing but recently started wondering why he "eats so well at nursery/always has seconds etc" and why he is always a bit off his food at home. Well I've been wheedling him and offering alternatives! He struggled with weight and was diagnosed with "failure to thrive" at 4 weeks old - but is now a healthy 91% centile weight/height 2 year old .

So - I read this thread the other week and have chilled out a bit. He doesn't want his tea one day - fine - he has before bed milk.

The best thing is the "serving bowl" concept - eg this evening my DH and I sat with DS whilst he had his tea and we put a bowl of chopped watermelon and 3 forks in the middle of the table. (Watermelon refused earlier in the week). He had one try said "urgh" but then 5 minutes later started tucking in with gusto.

If it is a new food to him I'll allow an alternative and keep trying the new food.

I've decided to keep a "tick sheet" on the fridge with foods and I will mark off when he has "tried" something and we will see how many tries are needed for some foods!

I will report back. Thanks to you all for the helpful info on this thread.

thinkingaboutdrinking, I too was worried DS's limited meal range would rub off on younger sister.

The way I approached it was to try new things a couple of times a week but always have one thing in the meal DS liked. He knew he could eat just that, so he didn't get upset at seeing food he thought he didn't like. This way they get exposure to a range of foods regularly and eventually they'll try something new.

Eg DS has never liked sausage, DD has. We carried on having sausage and DS would just have the mash and veg. When we do pasta and pesto, DH and have a bowl of mushrooms which we mix into it on our plates. Neither child has tried the mushrooms yet but I am confident they will do one day before they leave home!