I don't think ds got off to a good start with his new head this morning. How can I help him?

[scrooged]

"So you're in year 5?" (head teacher)

"might be" (ds)

"I think you are in year 5"

"could be"

"Are you nervous?"

"No, I don't get nervous"

"I think we need to work on the mannars here"

.

Is he usually so obnoxious? I don't envy you when he is a teen if that is how he is acting now.

rofl. i'd let the new head 'help' him lol.

Hmm. He's erm... very bright and see's himself as an adult Part of the reason I moved him was because the other boys were alot worse and he was copying them. He's normally OK.

I will be having words with him when I collect him. Darn! The morning was going so well until I dropped him off!

Oh dear! That's hardly obnoxious though Geepers

I thought he was rude, I just kept thinking 'please shut up!'

That's polite Geepers.

Although I disagree with the way Geepers put it, I also think that your son was astonishingly rude.

If I remember correctly, this is his third school in fairly quick succession (for a variety of reasons). I think you really do need to address this very quickly. It is completely inappropriate for your son to be speaking to people like this, particularly the headteacher at his new school.

If you thought he was rude, why ddn't you say anything?

I'd call it obnoxious if my 9/10 year old spoke to an adult like that.

TBH I'd have dealt with it at the time. I'd have expected him to be polite, and if he wasn't would have told him to apologise.

If you were standing there whilst this exchange was going on, why didn't you say anything to him? Why think "shut up" and not say it?

Does he know he was being rude, or did he think he was being cute/funny? Do you normally correct him?

Yes. I do agree. I didn't think it appropriate to tell him off in front of her so I'm saving it for when he gets home.

I spent so long getting rid of this sort of thing, within a few weeks of starting the old school it was back as I'd put him in a school full of obnoxious, rude boys! That was a mistake!!!

I now get to start all over again! Oh joy!

Whether your son see himself as an adult or not, I still can't stress strongly enough how inappropriate his behaviour was.

I'm an adult. I would never speak to someone like that.

Would you?

I wouldn't think a child was obnoxious in the headteacher's position. I would think that he was probably nervous and unsure of how to behave as it was his first day.

how can a school be full of obnoxious rude boys? surely it's likely to be a cross-section of boyhood.

I think it would have been completely appropriate to tell him off in front of the head teacher. Why wouldn't you correct him? I can't understand that at all. Another adult I might not call on their rudeness in front of someone (although I can't think of an example of why I wouldn't), but a child I always would.

Now the head probably thinks she got a right little smart alec to deal with, with a mother who doesn't care or doesn't bother to correct him. Fun for her.

He thought he was being funny, I told him to stop being silly and answer properly, he did shut up after that. I'm afraid he's already made a bad impression. I am going to tell him off properly when he gets home aswell. He was polite whilst walking there.

He spends alot of time with me. I think Ben 10's not something he should be watching, I blame that, and my parenting.

Scrooged don't worry - the Head is not going to judge him on that incident. He will be fine.

I agree with georgiamama. I think that you should have said someting to him then and there.

By not saying anything, you have condoned his behaviour to both your son and shown the headteacher that you think that your ds's behaviour was acceptable.

Scrooged, sorry, but I'm going to be very blunt; this is not the first time you've posted about your son's behaviour. You posted about it in relation to his first school (where it was the fault of the teachers). You then posted about it in relation to his second school (where it was the fault of the other pupils).

You're now posting about it in relation to his current school. Who is going to get the blame this time?

I don't know clement, I did overhear a coupl of boys (age 10) swearing at each other, I asked ds to tell his teacher as they were being really inappropriate, she did nothing. There were alot of other parents around. There were alot of silly/rude boys.

But there's no point telling him off when he gets home. He'll either have forgotten about it, or he will think that it wasn't that big a deal and won't understand why you are bringing it up 6 hours later.

I wasn't a perfectly behaved child but my mother would have come down on me like a ton of bricks if I had spoken to a teacher like that in front of her.

Him little fish, nervous or not, he was out of order. He was told by me to be quiet as he was being silly so it's not as if I said nothing.

'He thought he was being funny, I told him to stop being silly and answer properly,'

So you did pick him up on his sillyness and I'll bet the hed picked up that you were mortified too. She will be well aware of how kids behave and how they can react in stressful situations so I wouldnt worry too much.

If you do feel that it was a really bad start I'd maybe arrange a meeting with his class teacher to explain your concerns and how ds is reactign to moving school.

You don't seem to understand my point Scrooged. This is far from an isolated incident. It is part of a pattern of behaviour which your son has been displaying for some time now, through 2 different schools. It sounds like you need some support with his behaviour, through parenting support for you.