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Original poster

I don't think ds got off to a good start with his new head this morning. How can I help him?

167 replies

scrooged · 02/03/2009 13:04

"So you're in year 5?" (head teacher)

"might be" (ds)

"I think you are in year 5"

"could be"

"Are you nervous?"

"No, I don't get nervous"

"I think we need to work on the mannars here"

OP posts:
georgimama · 03/03/2009 16:10

Scrooged I'm sorry you're upset but you asked for advice. Your posts have suggested that wht happened with his teacher is just part of an overall pattern of behaviour which you aren't happy with. Some posters mistakenly formed the impression you wanted some advice on tackling that behaviour and helping him form more positive responses.

You did originally say he wasn't nervous. Now you say he was. It's quite hard to keep up tbh.

If you are perfectly happy with your son's behaviour then fine. Don't post asking for advice about him then.

(By the way this "boys are thought of badly" issue is a bit of a red herring. Most of the posters on here have boys so we aren't automatically programmed to see boys as the devil's little helpers)

Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:14

I'm not condinging what he said and he was told off by me (twice). I was there though, he wasn't telling her to get stuffed so it's hardly on par to be honest. I know he ment it as a joke, it wasn't a funny one though but it has been sorted out now. The head didn't tell him off for this, she just said she didn't like it when she wasn't given a straight answer and he appologised. She has far more compassion then some of the posters on here (I don't mean everyone). He knows not to do this again, what more can I ask for?

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Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:15

No Georgie, ds said he wasn't nervous. His actions speak differently though. He's 9 so will hardly admit to being nervous!

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seeker · 03/03/2009 16:18

But you MUST stop treating him like an adult, and letting him behave like one. He isn't - and he will have trouble with both grown ups AND his peers if he continues.

And please consider that the problem may lie with him, not with his school, his teachers or his class mates.

Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:20

I don't treat him like an adult! He's a child, there's plenty of time for this when he is an adult. Childhood's just too short.

Have you heard of Indigo children seeker?

OP posts:
seeker · 03/03/2009 16:29

Yes.

seeker · 03/03/2009 16:30

Things are starting to fall into place.

ICANDOTHAT · 03/03/2009 16:30

herbietea - I said that these traits were not acceptable and that boys are different - re-read if it's not clear.

Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:33

He fits the bill wouldn't you say? I would. I know now (thanks to thumbwich). I'm not making excuses but it's not black and white. I'm not going to post wholy negative things about him, it wouldn't give an accurate reflection IYSWIM.

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ICANDOTHAT · 03/03/2009 16:33

Don't even go there! Those people are MAD ... on par with bloody alien spotters. Making money out of parents who think their kids are 'special' &

Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:35

lol! Intersting theory ICANDOTHAT

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georgimama · 03/03/2009 16:37

What are Indigo children?

seeker · 03/03/2009 16:39

scrooged - please be very careful. There are a lot of people ready to exploit worried and vulnerable parents who have concerns about their children. Don't give anyone any money - don't buy anything, and don't let anyone tell you that your child has special powers, or is a more evolved soul. This is not the solution to the difficulties your ds has.

Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:40

innerself.com/Parenting/indigo_children.htm

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herbietea · 03/03/2009 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

georgimama · 03/03/2009 16:41

Oh.

I have just found on Wikipedia.

Oh dear.

I probably will offend scrooged if I say "what a crock of shit" so I will refrain.

Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:41

No. I wouldn't buy into it. It does explain a few things though.

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Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:42

It does sound familiar, even if far fetched. It was suggested last night so I'll have to think about things. The traits do all sound like him though.

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christywhisty · 03/03/2009 16:44

I am but I have been reading your posts about your son's problems at school for years now and you do make too many excuses for him.
I have a ds that has is the type that thinks he is an adult from a very young age, but has never been rude to a teacher or misbehaved in class.
What I would say he is so much happier in general since he has gone to secondary school.

seeker · 03/03/2009 16:44

Like what?

Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:48

Did your child come into the world acting like royalty?

Does your child have a feeling of deserving to be here?

Does your child have an obvious sense of self?

Does your child have difficulty with discipline and authority?

Does your child refuse to do certain things they are told to do?

Is waiting in lines torture for your child?

Is your child frustrated by ritual-oriented systems that require little creativity?

Does your child see better ways of doing thing at home and at school?

Is your child a nonconformist?

Does your child refuse to respond to guilt trips?

Does your child get bored rather easily with assigned tasks?

Does your child display symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder?

Is your child particularly creative?

Does your child display intuition?

Does your child have strong empathy for others?

Did your child develop abstract thinking very early?

Is your child very intelligent?

Is your child very talented (may be identified as gifted)?

Does your child seem be a daydreamer?

Does your child have very old, deep, wise looking eyes?

Does your child have spiritual intelligence?

If you have more than 10 yes answers, he or she probably is an Indigo. If more than 15, almost definitely.

Compiled by Wendy H. Chapman from her own experience with children and information in The Indigo Children: The New Kids Have Arrived by Jan Tober and Lee Carroll and her experiences with children. Please see www.metagifted.org for more info

He scores 17/20 seeker. I don't know. I need to research this alot more. I only discovered this last night. It does explain alot though.

OP posts:
seeker · 03/03/2009 16:51

Have a careful look at those questions and try to think of a child that doesn't fit the description. I know mine do. PLEASE don't go looking for more external reasons for your son's difficulties!

georgimama · 03/03/2009 16:52

Scrooged, at least half of those attributes apply to any child who frankly, hasn't been properly disciplined.

The other half appeal to loving parents who dote on their child to the point of blindness to their faults.

"Does your child have very old, deep, wise looking eyes?"

I mean, come on. Who wwould think in response to that, "well no actually, my child has eyes like a greedy little pig, and looks like he is dead inside."

According to Ms Chapman, 97% of under 10s are "indigo children". Not very special in that case.

georgimama · 03/03/2009 16:53

X posted with seeker. And I've got to say scrooged, seeker and I don't very often see eye to eye.

You sound vulnerable. If another MNer put this crap in your head they've done you a dis-service.

Original poster
scrooged · 03/03/2009 16:54

I ignore that one georgimama.

Whether this is him or not, there's no excuse for being rude. It may give some answers but it's no excuse. I'm still on his case.

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