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Original poster

If you found out that your child had said this to an adult, how would you react?

283 replies

sandyballs · 18/02/2008 15:49

A friend's DD stayed the night on Fri and was generally well behaved, if a bit moany and moody. Sat morning my DH was telling one of my girls off about something and this child said very loudly 'God, he goes on and on doesn't he', then followed this up with 'Will someone please shut him up'. She is 7. I was stunned and told her that this was unacceptable in our house, she cried and locked herself in the bathroom.

When I dropped her home I mentioned it to to her mum who didn't seem particularly bothered, she made light of it, saying that she probably didn't mean it as I interpreted it .

Just curious to see what the general view on MN is.

OP posts:
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hunkermunker · 18/02/2008 22:46

She doesn't sound like a very happy little girl.

It's not her fault. She's seven.

So, talk to her mother. But don't do it in front of her and make her more unhappy in the process.

And of course you should've said something to her when she was rude (which she was - although I bet it's more a case of socially inappropriate - again, she's treated as an adult by her parents, so feels she can join in in a more adult way elsewhere). But I bet you didn't just say "That's unacceptable in our house" and move on with a breezy, "Now, come on, let's get the out".

kidsrus · 18/02/2008 22:48

omg don't you lot go on &on &on!

hunkermunker · 18/02/2008 22:50

Will someone please shut us up?

Cam · 18/02/2008 22:50

Can't someone shut us up

kidsrus · 18/02/2008 22:52

you are all bickering like a bunch of 7 year olds

Cam · 18/02/2008 22:53
berolina · 18/02/2008 22:54

this is the worst thread I've ever been on. I hate you all

(apologies to OP)

Cam · 18/02/2008 22:56

I'm never coming to this thread again ever

kidsrus · 18/02/2008 22:56

well thats it, i am going to have to tell your children now!

ahundredtimes · 18/02/2008 22:56
2shoes · 18/02/2008 22:56
ahundredtimes · 18/02/2008 22:57

[surprised to see 2 shoes in same bathroom, tries to fake tears]

Heated · 18/02/2008 22:58

Whilst you're there, could you get that bit of mould on the ceiling?

ahundredtimes · 18/02/2008 23:00

Roll a marble under the door, and I'll have a go at it with that.

grandlapin · 18/02/2008 23:02

By kidsrus on Mon 18-Feb-08 22:48:06
omg don't you lot go on &on &on!

kidrus have you been here long

Cam · 18/02/2008 23:04

Shall we bother explaining to Grandlapin?

No, shan't

ahundredtimes · 18/02/2008 23:04

[sniggers]

kidsrus · 18/02/2008 23:08

no it just caught my eye and made me laugh.
shes 7 fgs! i have a 6yo who in the first place would not even dream of throwing marbles around in the 1st place.
he is a loud hyperactive normal child.
they repeat things that they hear sometimes in the wrong context.
my 2yo has a paddy and i say "there she blows" or "kettles boiling" so what will he repeat when he sees an adult having a paddy!

kidsrus · 18/02/2008 23:23

would you let a 6.5yo play out in the street?
if not why not?

leece · 19/02/2008 00:11

If I put myself in the place of the mum of the child I would do one of two things.

If they had acted with tact and not belittled my ds but had guided him in the right direction, then I would have been over the moon and most likely invited them in for a coffee and a chocolate hob nob.

If on the other hand they made a complete drama about a really teeny weeny incident. Which then resulted in making my ds feel like shit due to acting wrongly in a social situation he was not confident in.

Well in those circumstances I would just smile sweetly and gently try to educate them about aspergers in a friendly manner.

However they would not get a hob nob on that occasion

madamez · 19/02/2008 00:13

BTW, how to all the tightarses on here react when an adult says something rude or not funny to a child? The idea that adults should always be deffered to even when they are full of shit is a lousy one: teaching DC that adults are always right is actually one of the factors that peedafils sometimes rely on...

PissyGalore · 19/02/2008 00:21

(am prob WAY too late to thread but anyway

if i was the mum, id prob make noises along the sorry lines, but id think your dh must have been going on too much and be a right moany sod. but then, i believe my dc, and believe in listening to my dc, and respecting the fact that they have an opinion, and a right to one.

id then have a talk with child and tell them about diplomacy and how you cant always say what you think... that some people dont want to hear it! and that they can always tell me.

seeker · 19/02/2008 06:22

I said about a million posts ago that I would be cross if my children talked to anyone like this - adult or child. And I wouldn't talk to a child like this either. Or if I did in a moment of exasperation, I would say sorry when I had calmed down. I am amazed so many people think it's OK or funny!

AbbeyA · 19/02/2008 07:23

My whole point is that an adult should not be rude to a child either! It is not a question of deferring to an adult.I might not like the behaviour and say so but I don't have a personal attack on the child.If I have a bad moment when exasperated then I would apologise and I would expect a child to do the same.
I feel sorry for this particular DC because she is obviously allowed to say what she likes to her parents and now she is learning the hard way that it isn't acceptable elsewhere and if she is sensitive she will find it upsetting to be socially inept.
She was no doubt copying adults and quite possibly her parents think it amusing but a lot of people won't.

yurt1 · 19/02/2008 07:38

There are some huge leaps on here- along the lines of 'she obviously has no discipline, she obviously can say what she likes at home, she must be really immature' etc etc. The first line of the OP said she was generally well behaved - perhaps that's a better indicator of the parenting she's received that one misjudged line (which might actually have gone down quite well elsewhere, I would have found it quite funny if she'd said it about my dh although I would have been a bit taken aback. It would barely have registered on my radar as a 'thing to get in a huff about'.

God life sounds really dull in some houses. (And that's no bigger leap than the one many on here are making)