ds2 was swearing in the nursery playground and the other mums were looking at me in disgust

[divastrop]

he is 3.9 and has always been very 'lively' and laddish,but today he was running around and 3 times shouted 'f**k it' and 'bugger'

i told him off,obviously,but the other parents in the playground were looking at me horrified,as though they expected me to do more,but i dont know what they expected me to do?

i dont know how to deal with this.dp and i have been watching what we say at home,but ds2 already knows the words now.he doesnt listen to me when i tell him off anyway.he just grins cheekily when anybody tells him off(even the headmistress of the junior school,who scares me,told him not to climb on the stairs when we were waiting for ds and dd1,and he just ignored her).

i have recently found out he has a hearing problem,i dont know to what degree exactly,but im waiting for an appointment for him at the hospital(i was told he most likely has 'glue ear').he has some problems with his speech because of this also.

i dont know how to deal with this,as my loder 2 children,however they may have behaved at home,have always behaved brilliantly at school.they work hard and have never been in trouble.

ds2 starts infant school in september,and i can forsee frequent visits to the headmistress if this carries on

omg i would be horrified.

does he normally say that stuff?

Fucking hell, some of you lot can really be sanctimonious sometimes, you know.

"I'm horrified, my children don't swear" [judge] [judge] [judge]

Snooty cunts.

I don't. But I don't like the unhelpful tone of some of the judgey posts to a mother who was clearly struggling with a 3yo and a 7wo baby fgs.

It's the "my poo doesn't whiff of anything, you dirty swine-alike" tone I was objecting to, you see

I swear

I love swwearing

but like alcohol, I think it is a grown ups thing

Try not to panic divastrop. There is a lighter side. My daughter starts swearing FOR ME as I've now tried to control it whatever way I can. (She's 2) I'll be running around totally frustrated --well "F and S" both come out. We haven't heard it for a while. I really think that the bigger a deal is made of it the more they realise the power they have when they use it. My advice would be to deal with the other issues first. Those mothers need to get a grip, these are children here, yes they need to be helped with their behaviour sometimes. But turning up ones nose is obnoxious too.

I think swearing is horrid to hear from a child. I can totally empathise with the Mum though as she obviously is very uncomfortable about it. My kids don't swear around me but I can still easily put myself in this mums shoes and feel concerned for her.

I remember from my student days that scientists did experiments with rats and dicovered that the rats would choose a cage that gave them electric shocks occasionally rather than a cage that just gave them food. Much like children will actually look for negative attention rather than no attention at all. Bizarre but true. The only thing that children like more than negative attention is positive attention but it's hard to think on your feet how to turn a situation around. You have to look at how you treat your son generally and start from scratch in trying to make every little thing he does 'great! Fantastic! So helpful!'

I'm guessing that this poster is overwhelmed and could do with a friendly support person, someone who had been-there-done-that. I would suggest getting your health visitor to refer you to Home-start and to parenting courses at sure-start. Add some more coping strings to your bow.

As always, I find parenting other peoples kids a complete doddle, especially via the internet. I hope that the poster gets something really positive from this thread.

hunker dont be daft

I would be HORRIFIED if I heard a 3/4 year old say fuck it and bugger

I would keep my kids away from him

that may not be helpful to the OP but she needs to realise that the women at the school gates were NOt being unreasonable

thats pathetic hunker...snooty no! My 14 year old used the word 'twat' the other day and i was shocked

your language is vile
i swear but what you just said is not big or clever

THREE year olds swearing ....yes HORRIFIED

I say pigflaps in front of the boys. Although DS1 did say "shit" when I beeped the horn in the car once. My first thought was "oh shit" so no prizes for guessing where he picked that one up.

I was in Pizza Express the other day and there were two lads effing away at the next table. I gave them a look and they realised the children were there, looked shamefaced and stopped.

But your children will hear swearing. If they don't hear it from you (and I don't swear in front of the boys, but I do like a good old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon rant occasionally), they'll hear it out and about. In fact, all you prissy ones, I have your phone numbers and I will be phoning to say "fuckingcuntingshiteybollocks" to your children very soon

So how is saying you're horrified helping? FFS!

my cousin learnt the word fuck at the age of 2 after hearing his mother say when she dropped a hammer on her toe. at first they would tell him off and that it was a naughty word that he shouldn't say but it just made him say it more. so then when he did say it they ignored it and he soon stopped saying it.

hunker we all know they will swear at some point

but not at 3.5

it is horribly 'knowing' especially sa he clearly knows it is naughty

agree with piglit he will have no friends in reception if he carries on unchecked

I know you have small kids but you can't put parenting on hold evne though you have a baby (as I know only too well unfortunately)

because the other mothers looked horrified and the op seemed to need reassurance that it wasnt that bad

it is

Agree with Aloha - I might have looked horrified because I'd have been shocked, but I wouldn't have been judging you! Thank heavens AFAIK ds has never repeated swear words outside the home - dh and I try not to swear in front of him but sometimes when I drop something heavy on my foot 'ouch' just doesn't come out of my mouth.

Suggest you ignore swearing as much as possible so he knows it doesn't get a reaction. This too shall pass!

Mind you, I'm suffering from the reverse problem - try so hard not to swear in front of ds that when I'm alone with adults and I, for instance, drop something on my foot, I've been known to come out with 'oopsadaisy' which sounds so pathetic!

he doesn tneed ignoring IMO

he is not 2

he is 3.5 and could do with a telling off

I'm not excusing it either - I would hate it if DS1 said "fuck it" - but then I don't like him saying "ta" either. Not quite in the same league.

Look, I'm just killing time posting somewhat inflammatorially while I wait to hear we've a house to move into. I'm homeless atm.

Sorry but i agree with Hunker, some people just think they are soooooooo perfect!

insecure much?

Who, Enid?

come on

I already told you that my dd1 said 'bollocks' at 2

but she was not saying it delibreately to be naughty

scooby

in fact anyone who brushes away criticism by saying oh you are all so perfect

I get that crap a lot - its lazy IMO

Dd1(3) has sworns a few times she now knows its wrong and if anyone swears she tells them off and says 'thats daddy's word', dh does swear but dd1 knows its a grown up word and is naughty.

I picked Dd1 up from nursery a few weeks ago and a man was picking his son up, he told his son to say goodbye to the staff, he turned around and stuck his finger up, his dad did'nt tell him off, i was he was only 3.5.

haven't read all posts but yes, I think parents will judge you. and that's one thing I would judge tbh, because if a 3 year old is using such language then 9 times out of ten it's because he's heard it at home.

Can't believe there are people that think it's acceptable to use the f word in front of their children.