So a week ago today DD started making noises. She's continued to make the same vowel noises on average twice a day, so not loads but still better than silence.
The thing is I've still got a little niggle in the back of my mind that something's just not right. I hate it. It's not all consuming as it was previously when she was silent for 10 weeks but it is just still there.
She doesn't ever make noises in response to me. She'll make noises when lying on her play mat or in her cot.
Her eye contact has been very poor especially when she's sat on my knee. She absolutely refuses to look at me when she's on my knee or if she's lying down on the floor and i go close to her. She looks at me from a distance though and follows me around the room.
She's started shaking her head from side to side over and over.
She's still scratching surfaces very regularly as a comfort thing. When she's falling asleep or feeding for example.
She jumps on one foot whilst in her jumperoo.
I remember being able to look Into my sons eyes and feel a sort of bond or connection, for instance when feeding him or lying beside him but she just completely refuses. I've never once been able to just state adoringly into her eyes. She'll look and then look away after 3-4 seconds.
When she wakes in the morning she won't look at me. She stares at the light on the cieling. She's in a co sleeper crib so I talk to her and she just looks around or at the cieling. However she naps in her cot and when I go in after she wakes up she will look at me and smile so I'm not sure.
On the other hand.....
She looks at everyone when we go to baby groups. Stares at their faces and smiles when they speak to her.
She smiles when I speak to her.
She has initiated a smile to me once (I didn't need to speak to her).
She was laughing at me the other day playing peek a boo.
She is making noise - just not very often or to me. I honestly think she's just so uninterested in me.
She will maintain eye contact with me for a while from a distance if I sing a song.
I sing a song which involves sticking my tongue out and I'm pretty sure she licks her lips in response (not 100% sure yet as I've seen her licking her lips at other times too and sometimes she doesn't lick her lips when I sing the song) but if it is in response to me then it might be imitating?
The main things concerning me are the eye contact combined with the lack of cooing for 10 weeks and now very rare noise and not in response to me.
I'm still waiting on our hospital appointment but I don't expect them to tell me much anyway.
Honestly I love her so much she's so adorable but I just feel so deflated by her lack on bond with me. She just doesn't want to look or interact with me and it's so hurtful/worrying.