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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Did anyone's baby not coo/stop cooing for over a month & everything be ok?

206 replies

Kmxxx14 · 07/01/2017 10:14

I posted about my DD and how she stopped cooing at 10 weeks. Everyone reassured me it was normal she was just learning something new.

She's 16 weeks on Monday & still no cooing. Did this happen to anyone else?

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Kmxxx14 · 07/02/2017 17:11

I think she may have cooed, although it doesn't sound like her previous cooing. Nonetheless I'm so happy. What do you think is it cooing or just shouting? Either way it's progress.

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imjessie · 07/02/2017 17:25

I just want to say you should trust you instincts . I 'knew ' something was amiss with my son but was told I was being anxious and paranoid ( by consultants ) I'm the least anxious person I know so it made me angry , then they said I had pnd ( I didn't ) . I'm sure your baby is fine and to be honest you won't know until she is older and is developing ( or not ) ... my point is it's not always down to PND .

imjessie · 07/02/2017 17:27

There is something called delayed visual maturation which means their focus takes longer to work too which she could have and would explain the non eye contact , my son had it and he did this . Is she a fairly settled baby ?

imjessie · 07/02/2017 17:34

Just watched the video , she is making perfectly normal baby sounds and making eye contact . SmileSmile

Pandamanda3 · 07/02/2017 18:35

Ahhh op she's gorgeous they both are your truly blessed, she was loving being with your son there having a good roll and shouting that to me sounds just perfect honestly. Lovely eye contact, inquisitive touching etc and the sounds well to me she's just trying her little hardest to say something and you could ser her little mouth trying as she's gabbing away.

Of course nobody can say what the future can bring and I know your feeling right now it's tormenting I understand having been there but my personal opinion if it helps she's doing just fine.
How do you feel at the moment are you still as worried? I hope your not feeling so stressed and anxious take time for you & be kind to yourself op your doing great and your dc's are beautiful.

Kmxxx14 · 07/02/2017 19:09

Oh thanks so much for the lovely comments panda. She really was trying and whilst it might not be cooing I do think it's communicating in someway which I think can only be a positive.

I'm doing ok. Some days are better than others. In the last week she has learnt to roll now vocalising so I'm feeling more positive. I do seem to be enjoying her more rather than just assessing her and trying to live "in the moment" more rather than worrying about the future. It's hard and it doesn't come naturally but I'm trying.

I'm just so pleased she's finally making some progress in the vocal department. I'm hoping now she's mastered rolling she will focus on sounds now. I'm just so proud of her regardless

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spacepoodle · 07/02/2017 20:28

OP, you have a very beautiful baby! As I said before our babies are similar ages. Her eye contact, sounds and movements seem exactly the same as my boy. Her eye contact looks fantastic! She is really exploring with her hands too.

Kmxxx14 · 08/02/2017 03:01

Thanks space. That's really good to hear. So happy and relieved she seems to have progressed Grin.

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Blackpoolasy · 08/02/2017 03:30

Please trust your instinct. I knew for weeks and weeks that something was wrong with my dd but everyone dismissed me until everything came to a head.

Have you got your paed appointment through yet?

Kmxxx14 · 08/02/2017 05:57

I really don't want to trust my instinct as I'm hoping she's ok but I know what you mean, thanks.

I'm hoping I'm worrying for nothing and it all turns out ok. I'm not even sure what my instinct is feeling anymore!

No I've not got my appointment yet. It's been about 5 weeks but could be upto 12.

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Silverdream · 08/02/2017 08:20

I just watched the video. She's gorgeous and your son is lovely with her.

She is vocalising beautifully. She has moved on from cooing to screechy sounds. She is using them conversationally. Your son talks she vocalises back. She is using it to gain attention from him when he goes quiet. She is changing to pitch of them too.

She moves her body towards him to be near him to interact. She pulls at him with her hands this is also interaction.

She gives him constant eye contact. Understanding that if she looks at him he will respond.

She also smiles in response to his interactions.

She couldn't be anymore communicative or social in that video if she tried.

Please please be reassured that what she was doing at that moment appears to be bang on developmentally.

I hope that helps a little.

0hCrepe · 08/02/2017 08:49

So sweet when she wraps her little hands round his arm. And the way he is with her too. I love watching my baby with my older 2.

Kmxxx14 · 08/02/2017 09:23

Ahh thank you, I genuinely feel so much relief and happiness. She's continued to make similar sounds this morning.

Obviously I know it doesn't rule out anything happening in the future but right now this is the progress I've been hoping and praying for. And now im relaxed and can just enjoy her Grin. I'm so pleased.

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Blackpoolasy · 08/02/2017 09:44

Sorry don't mean to cause stress.

That's a beautiful video

Talith · 08/02/2017 09:51

What a lovely video! I can't advise on the development aspects but she seemed very alert and engaged and enjoying a good chat. I hope you get lots of support. Mine are similar age apart although much older and it was exhausting when they were tiny. I felt insane and shattered much of the time. It gets much easier.

rollerdisco · 08/02/2017 10:10

What a beautiful video op! I've just smiled the whole way through watching it! That's such a lovely relationship they are forging.

I can't advise on the development aspects, but I have a ds and to me that seems like such a sustained amount of eye contact. And she's really exploring how to use her voice, and using it in response to him. It's such a touching scene seeing them communicate with each other.

I think your ds has it spot on when he said at the end "she understands me doesn't she". That video is a keeper!

Kmxxx14 · 08/02/2017 11:08

Thanks everyone Smile. I agree the video is so sweet. I really don't give my son enough credit but he's really amazing with her and in general. Since she's been born he's had to take a bit of a back seat in terms on attention and time and he's just handled it so well.

I'm so glad you all think she's doing so well Smile. It's really reassuring. I can see it too as well. We went to a baby class this morning & she was the loudest in the class! Although as PP said it's more like screeching than cooing and it's almost as if sometimes she's upset but she's not if you know what I mean. One mum did comment that she was making the noises as no one was speaking to her (as though she was upset) but I knew she wasn't, that it was just her new noise.

It feels nice to have some real reassurance. It's like a weight has been lifted.

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Kmxxx14 · 15/02/2017 20:53

So a week ago today DD started making noises. She's continued to make the same vowel noises on average twice a day, so not loads but still better than silence.

The thing is I've still got a little niggle in the back of my mind that something's just not right. I hate it. It's not all consuming as it was previously when she was silent for 10 weeks but it is just still there.

She doesn't ever make noises in response to me. She'll make noises when lying on her play mat or in her cot.

Her eye contact has been very poor especially when she's sat on my knee. She absolutely refuses to look at me when she's on my knee or if she's lying down on the floor and i go close to her. She looks at me from a distance though and follows me around the room.

She's started shaking her head from side to side over and over.

She's still scratching surfaces very regularly as a comfort thing. When she's falling asleep or feeding for example.

She jumps on one foot whilst in her jumperoo.

I remember being able to look Into my sons eyes and feel a sort of bond or connection, for instance when feeding him or lying beside him but she just completely refuses. I've never once been able to just state adoringly into her eyes. She'll look and then look away after 3-4 seconds.

When she wakes in the morning she won't look at me. She stares at the light on the cieling. She's in a co sleeper crib so I talk to her and she just looks around or at the cieling. However she naps in her cot and when I go in after she wakes up she will look at me and smile so I'm not sure.

On the other hand.....
She looks at everyone when we go to baby groups. Stares at their faces and smiles when they speak to her.

She smiles when I speak to her.

She has initiated a smile to me once (I didn't need to speak to her).

She was laughing at me the other day playing peek a boo.

She is making noise - just not very often or to me. I honestly think she's just so uninterested in me.

She will maintain eye contact with me for a while from a distance if I sing a song.

I sing a song which involves sticking my tongue out and I'm pretty sure she licks her lips in response (not 100% sure yet as I've seen her licking her lips at other times too and sometimes she doesn't lick her lips when I sing the song) but if it is in response to me then it might be imitating?

The main things concerning me are the eye contact combined with the lack of cooing for 10 weeks and now very rare noise and not in response to me.

I'm still waiting on our hospital appointment but I don't expect them to tell me much anyway.

Honestly I love her so much she's so adorable but I just feel so deflated by her lack on bond with me. She just doesn't want to look or interact with me and it's so hurtful/worrying.

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Chocolatebuttons12 · 27/02/2017 21:18

Just wanted to do a quick update, regardless of if anyone's reading this anymore as it's positive for me to look back and see how she's progressing.

She's gone quiet again, no more vowel noises for a few days.

But I'm feeling More connected with her. Her eye contact has been really good. She looks for fine and follows me. Sometimes she'll look at me whilst breast feeding.

This past weekend she's started to reach for me when I reach my hands out to pick her up. I'll hold my hands out and say "coming?" & she'll hold her hands up.

Also if someone else is holding her and I'm near her, she'll reach over to me to get me to take her.

So positive and lovely.

On the other hand, she is staring at lights quite often. She can be easily directed but I notice her almost in a trance staring st them.

Also someone spoke to her in a shop whilst I was paying for something and she started screaming hystericallly. It was awful and she wouldn't calm down for about 10 minutes.

But then other times she'll smile happily at strangers.

Despite all of this, I feel a lot more bonded with her. I'm able to calm her and get her to sleep without much fighting from her. She seems happy generally and I'm enjoying her so much lately.

Kmxxx14 · 27/02/2017 21:20

Forgot to name change back for this thread (not for any particular reason - just as I had photos and videos of DD on this name and I didn't really want it to be linked to any future threads.)

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WineCheeseSleep · 27/02/2017 22:36

Your latest update sounds really normal to me. My DD is generally really good with strangers but sometimes something about them will spook her and she'll get really upset. I think all babies love looking at lights don't they? My two certainly have!

It's great you're feeling more connected with her Smile

amysmummy12345 · 27/02/2017 22:39

I could have written your post, DD started cooing at about 10 weeks, then stopped. I'm talking total radio silence, the only noise she made was when she cried. Other people commented on it, and I've been beside myself. Then over this weekend she's found her voice!!! She's nine months old on the 1st March so that's almost six months of no noise, coupled with the fact that she's the world's grumpiest baby and the laziest (she can roll but won't!) she is keeping me in my toes that's for sure!

Kmxxx14 · 28/02/2017 17:27

Wow Amysmum. So glad she's making noises. Is it vowel sounds or consonants she's doing?

They like to keep us worrying!

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Kmxxx14 · 28/02/2017 17:39

Oh she's now sitting completely unaided too. Came from no where really. Yesterday she was floppy today sat her up and she stayed upright for 10 minutes. 5 months 9 days Grin

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amysmummy12345 · 28/02/2017 18:06

She's sort of going "ah ah ah" very abruptly as though she's trying to mimic speaking, she's loves a good growl too 😂 DD can sit unaided too, I often joke about how she can sit but won't roll Hmm