Did anyone's baby not coo/stop cooing for over a month & everything be ok?

[Kmxxx14]

I posted about my DD and how she stopped cooing at 10 weeks. Everyone reassured me it was normal she was just learning something new.

She's 16 weeks on Monday & still no cooing. Did this happen to anyone else?

She does cry and scream when unhappy but is just silent the rest of the time.

The trying to get sound out is a new thing but still nothing comes out.

I don't think she has reflux - the bringing up sick thing happens rarely it's often she'll just give up and exhale when she tries to do the sound.

Reflux can be 'silent', like heartburn, so the acid comes up to the throat but not out as sick. It's just a thought anyway. Hope you are doing ok today.

nursing so can't type easily

Autism is a developmental disorder, meaning some kids don't pass out of a developmental phase (most 2 year olds meet criteria for ADHD, you worry when they are 5 and act like 2 year olds). Many babies avoid eye contact. it is too early to know - lots of babies stim and show asd traits.

My 6 month old just started to babble again. She did, and then didn't. She lost all her consonant sounds. I think it may be a u shaped developmental curve. (babies do it, instinct goes away, they learn it properly later). My oldest son never really made eye contact - still doesn't at 13. He is neuro-typical. She is a happy baby, but laughing is coming in slowly.

IF something is wrong, early intervention is key. Google early start denver model and PACT. They will be hard to come by in scotland but will give you some ideas.

good luck. I am a psychologist and worry too. I think about these things all the timexx

Oh gosh - my DC stopped babbling for AGES. He went through quiet phases and shrieky pterodactyl phases. He's not old enough yet to say he doesn't have autism but I also have no reason at all to think he does - he's acquiring words at a normal rate and loves to initiate cuddles and games.

Also, I suffered very badly with anxiety when I was pregnant (went away when DC was born, bizarrely). I won't even tell you what I was anxious about because I'm too embarrassed but it was totally totally irrational, something that basically was never going to happen. So - you're not alone. Caring for little children is a scary business with no guarantees and some parents get hung up on worries.

Hi OP, hope you and your beautiful baby are doing ok.

I've worked with adults with learning disabilities and my DP is an autism specialist. We have a 1 year old and over the last year we've often mentioned how her latest thing really reminds us of someone we've worked with. We have no reason to think she has autism, it's just her regular baby development that would be a sign in someone older. The scratching she did lots, then it was hitting with an open palm, it was her learning how to grab things. She also used to love particular patterns or textures. She was very attached to a pair of pyjamas I had and would look at the material, and do the reaching/scratching for a quarter of an hour uninterrupted. She used to flap her hands about when she was happy or excited, now she might clap or wave instead but still does it a bit. All babies do something like this when they're learning to use their hands.

She didn't stop making sounds for as long as you and pps have mentioned, but I remember a time when she would only 'chat' some days and only first thing in the morning. After that I'd lost my chance. Who knows! In terms of forgetting how to do things, though, she was completely determined to roll over and would try to roll whenever she was lying down (this must have been post 3 months as before then she hated being put down) she then rolled over twice, and forgot about it completely. I had to teach her again just before she turned 1 because she would be cruising along, fall on her back, and be completely immobilised. She still doesn't roll over while asleep.

Because of our backgrounds we're probably quite relaxed about autism as we know we couldn't really spot it this early, but I have been incredibly anxious about plenty of things, and still google stuff all the time. I wish babies came with an 'all ok' indicator so I could limit my worrying to when it started flashing red!

If you do end up getting an autism diagnosis then I'd just like to say that sometimes the picture we get from the media (and dr google) of autism is way off the reality. DP and I have several friends and colleagues between us who are autistic and they are as different to each other as you and I are. A couple of them feel autism is an important facet of their personality, and others are more private so few people probably know about it.

As you have the referral now, you're doing all you can do, so I hope you can enjoy some time with your baby.

This happened to my lo at around the same age. She stopped making any cooing noises for over a month and like you I was very worried about it. The cooing came back, I think she was just working on other skills

Thanks everyone. It's SO reassuring to hear your experiences. We're still waiting for any noise from her. She's been really difficult lately - never seems happy and screams herself to sleep even though I rock her and walk around with her. She's up during the night 6 times too and I'm just drained &I exhausted.

She's almost rolling over though - maybe once she's mastered that then she'll start making some noises again.

I really feel so low to be honest I've never felt this way before and I just can't shake this feeling. I'm constantly assessing her and feel so low as she doesn't interact at all with me. She's constantly irritated it's SO depressing. I wish I could turn back time and I would have thought twice about having another child. My son is so easy and I never get any time with him as she's so demanding. When she's not crying I just want to spend time interacting with her to help her progress so I don't have any time with my son.

She won't take a bottle either so all feeding is down to me. It's awful, so draining and sometimes I just wish I could run away or turn back the time.

I hate feeling like this though and I know it's awful of me. I just want time to move on quickly so she can grow and develop and I'll know for sure if something's wrong with her and deal with it or not and she'll be ok and I can start to get my head around it all. It's just the waiting, analysing her and the unknown that's just depressing me.

It's all I think about and I'm only getting 1-2 hours sleep before she cries so it's not making it any easier. I also have no support what so ever. But what can I do there's no way out except for time to pass and hopefully things to improve.

Hi I've listened to the recording but all I can say is it sounds more like vocalisations than just whinging but I'm no expert. My dd seems to experiment with sounds. At the moment she likes to do a gentle roar or do a raspberry. When she's concentrating visually she goes quiet.
She is 18 weeks so a similar age to yours and I too have become anxious over a few things and found myself googling, e.g. Is she kicking too much (she's constantly wriggling like mad when put on her back); have I burnt her in a too hot bath? (nothing at all to suggest I had and she was perfectly happy); obsessively paranoid about her getting a cold sore; got over anxious that I'd not kept unopened ready made formula in the fridge and googled it even though I knew it can be kept in the cupboard.

Sometimes googling can allay fears but mainly it fuels anxiety and this is by far your worst problem at the moment and it is affecting you significantly.
To try to minimise it I would stop googling symptoms and watching footage completely. It's like an addiction but it's not helping you.
If you find yourself panicking about your dd's behaviour, if she is not in pain and doesn't have a temperature then she is physically fine. Keep bringing yourself back to that. She has been referred which is enough for now. She is not in immediate danger and she is well cared for. You will love her no matter what. Chances are her behaviour is entirely normal, just different to what you expected. When you say you wish you could go back to before it is your anxiety you wish to escape not your dd. You do need to take measures not to let it get its grip on you. A voice or feeling is not always mother's correct instinct; sometimes it's unfounded dread. I've had it many times and it's come to nothing. It's not helping you at the moment. You've acknowledged it, got a referral and now it can bugger off.

Regarding ASD I know several grown children with it. Some were very placid babies whereas others were very stressy. My older dd (10) screamed angrily at anyone who wasn't me from very early on, she was permanently latched on and very difficult with weaning onto food. She's now a very calm capable NT girl.

I also just wanted to check though and I really don't want this to add to your anxiety, but just to rule it out, does your dd respond normally to sounds? Do she look towards a sound, or startle with noises? Is she bunged up at all? just to rule out any form of hearing loss. No googling!

Also whereabouts are you in the country? Are you going to plenty of groups? They can help distract you from obsessing about your dd.

Ohcrepe - thank you for taking the time to reply. It's reassuring that you think she is vocalising and not just moaning. She's continued to do some random vowel sounds when upset so I think it might be some progress at least.

I know anxiety is normal to some extent when you have a child and I think what makes it worse is that my son was so early in doing everything. I didn't realise at the time but I was so lucky that not once did I get any anxiety about how he was developing as he was just so advanced.

Your right about wanting to escape the anxiety and not my DD. I felt awful for feeling that way but when you said that it actually made me realise that it is ok to feel this way. I love her and I'll be beside her no matter what I just want the best for her and that brings anxiety which makes me feel terrible.

Regarding her hearing she startles very easily to loud noises. Also I've tested her hearing by shouting on her when she's in her cot and I watch her on the video monitor and she smiles and starts to look for me. So I don't think her hearing is the issue. Having said that, both ears seem to have a distinct foul smell to them. Also she's scratch the back of both ears so that blood has been drawn. As a resukt I have booked an appointment with the GP but it won't be for another week as my doctors surgery are shockingly slow at appointments. I just want to check that her ears are clear.

As for groups I go to the library bookbug twice a week, baby massage and Gymboree which is 4 days a week. I also usually meet my sister and nephew once a week and friends once every 2 weeks. I find the days that I'm busy I feel better and less anxious and aometimes forget about my worries in regards to her.

At baby groups I can tell she loves when people talk to her. she will look at all the doffeeent faces and stare until they speak to her. When they do she immediately buries her head into my shoulder then will look back smiling but continue to bury her head into my shoulder and look back to them. I think this is pretty social... what do you think? But then a part of me thinks "hmm she's not maintaining any eye contact with anyone" but then I think she's just shy? I'm not sure. Do u think the fact she immediately turns away from someone is A concern?

I'm no expert, but I would have counted the sounds she's making as vocalisation, not whinging, too. I had a look at the videos I have of my now 1 year old and remembered that I used to laugh when the hv would say 'is she cooing?' Because she used to do happy screeching like a baby dinosaur, and nothing that sounded like it could ever be called cooing.

I know lots of babies that like to stay close to mum when there's people about. They do the looking at people, then back to hide in their mum's shoulder thing. My daughter does it every so often, but she's not one for being shy. I ended up worried about that at one point as people kept telling me she should have stranger anxiety - there's always something to worry about!

My daughter has still never taken a bottle and used to want milk every hour and a half or so - exhausting! My daughter was also pretty grumpy around the same age, but not long after could sit up and was SO much happier. She's never really liked lying down and has got happier as she's become more independent. Other babies I know were much more chilled out about being babies.

She sounds adorable. And like she knows what she wants which is mummy and to look at other people but not for them to want to hold her thank you very much! Very much like my older dd in fact who even screeched at my dh! Not a concern just her little personality coming through.

Sounds like her hearing is good from observations. My dd's ears can be stinky too. I did notice some crusty stuff behind her ears and they get quite grubby near the ear canal too. I rubbed a bit of baby oil behind her ears in the crease and the stuff came sliding straight off. Most satisfying!!

Oh and she goes to sleep in a snuzpod which has canvas sides which she's always scratching. I didn't know this was even a thing, I just thought she was exploring. Her nails grow quickly and she scratches herself and everyone just from the way she moves her hands, rubbing her face etc so I put her to sleep in babygros with long sleeves.

Sounds like you need to keep busy! When those thoughts start to creep in, don't reach for google, do something else, go for a walk or something! Sounds like she's doing a lot of looking and thinking.

Thanks CantReach - that's reassuring too then. Did you watch the video I posted yesterday? (I had it removed now as I don't like videos of DD on here for too long).

Thanks OhCrepe, great advice. I have made a promise to do absolutely no more googling and to try to take a break from my phone altogether and just do something to take my mind off it - not obsess about it more and on the whole it has been working.

I haven't really had a sleepless night for a while (due to the anxiety - I've had a sleepless night due to DD though!) and my appetite has increased again which is a good thing.

I'm just hoping and praying for some more progress. Today I got some big giggles from her whilst I was playing with her which is SO comforting and just helps me to bond that little bit more with her.

No real advice as such op only to say I completely understand that anxiety - you just want to fast forward a year or so and know she's 'ok'. I think if you're like me that you're just not taking for granted that you have a healthy NT child but chances are you have. I remember at my ds1's 18m check being asked about vocab and I said he'd been do in animal noises but didn't any more and I could see her writing it down - I was so relieved when he really got going with speech a few months later (and hasn't shut up since)!

I'm not an expert but a friend us a psych and because there's asd in my oh's side I was concerned (about that specifically because no obvious other issues i.e. I had nothing to worry about it so I worried about the one thing that wouldn't be obvious!!). Anyway she said joint attention at 12m i.e. your baby looking to share something with you-looking from you to what you're looking at, or pointing out something to you. I was happy to have a definite thibg that when I saw it (long before 12m in my case), I put my worries away (on that score anyway!). You are right to get things checked but I also feel she sounds like my two... scratching is learning - see how this feels, listen to the sound I can make etc.
Good luck to you and keep posting x

Those giggles sound great! And you've reminded me of another worry I had-ds2 started kicking his leg up and down in his bouncer but (of course) I noticed he kicked one but not the other.. cue goggling it in case of some neurological problem!!! I think we worriers feel first of all so protective of our dc like anyone else but secondly so out of control because whether they're NT or not or meet their milestones etc etc, isn't something we're in charge of. Despite ds2 dking the one-legged hokey cokey for a while, I was so much more relaxed with him and enjoyed just sitting back and taking him in-just observing him e.g. scratching, staring at shadows etc. Try to enjoy those things, babies are amazing as they play and learn.

Yes, I watched the video last night but had to charge my phone and forgot to reply until today. If I met that baby out and about I'd assume they were 'talking'.

From what I can see (and I'm not qualified to diagnose in any way) your daughter is just as likely to be autistic as any baby is. Because of your concern you've been referred to have things checked out at the earliest possible time. Plenty of babies develop as one would expect, and then start to lose skills as toddlers, so there aren't any signs to catch until then. From this perspective you're at least a year ahead, but the things that would be helpful for you to be doing you'll be doing anyway.

She is beautiful and looks like she has loads of personality.

We have a roller . 19 weeks (& 6 days) but I'm so pleased for her!

Typical that her dad just left this morning to go to work for 2 weeks abroad so he missed it. I did too really as I turned my back to put clothes away and when I turned round she was over the other way! So typical. She's done it again since though.

Only thing is she rolled back to belly and I heard they usually go belly to back first. She seems unable to work out where to put her arms to get her from belly to back.

I've not googled but I'm hoping this isn't a sign of anything (I doubt it is but I don't know?). Like "normal" babies go belly to back first but babies with delays or neurological issues go back to belly first. I know I'm overthinking this right?!

Mine did this too with the rolling and so did quite a few of my other friends babies so I was always quite bemused at the 'should go this way first' advice. Sounds completely normal to me

Dd's thinking about rolling and I've been helping her a bit. When she's on her tummy it looks like it would be easier from there so that's probably why they tend to do it like that first.

My baby is 20 weeks and buries his head into my shoulder too. He does this when tired or when looking at faces - he even does it sometimes when looking at his own reflection! He will look in the mirror, smile and bury his head. I can't figure out if it's because he gets overstimulated, shy or excited but I think it's cute.

He also started rolling a couple of weeks ago. Did it a few times and hasn't bothered since.

His noises change all the time. I did notice he was cooing less around the time he started rolling - perhaps some babies like to focus on one thing at a time!

A new HV came round today for a chat. She noted DD lack of eye contact when sat on my/her knee. I've noticed it more recently too. She will refuse point blank to look at my face whilst on my knee. If I try to look at her face she rapidly turns it the other way. She's ok at a distance though.

Still no spontaneous laughter. No cooing or other sounds.

I asked the new HV if she could think of a cause (normal development or otherwise?) and she said "I don't want to offend you but I've seen it with babies who are not stimulated enough. Maybe try to interact with her more."

If only she knew. I do interact with her. I talk to her and sing to her all day long. It's exhausting when there's no response.

Good luck op, she's beautiful im sure you will get to the bottom of your concerns and im sure she will be fine, don't forget to look after you.
I felt like you when my ds was a baby and he now does have diagnosis of asd however I don't genuinly think anything you noted is a huge red flag just maybe she's taking a little longer to catch up to the a typical baby so to speak.
There all so different as others have said.
But you sound like your really suffering and I hope you get the support you need too, you sound like such a great mum so she's on a winner already with you in her corner 💐