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Original poster

Sick of my greedy daughter

243 replies

Orangeanddemons · 29/12/2013 18:56

Dd is 7. She has always been greedy, but she is just intolerable now. We don't have any crap or junk in the house, as she was unmanageable around it.

She has eaten a large roast dinner 2 hours ago followed by yoghurt. She is now mithering and screaming that she is hungry. We try to ignore, but eventually you have to take a stand. She is like this every single day. Obsessed with food, nagging for food all the time.

I have had endless conversations about mouth versus tummy hunger, but it makes no difference. Nothing does. She just wants to eat all the time. I have tried to bring her up with a healthy attitude to food, but she is just obsessed with eating, so I have to restrict her.

We have 3 ds's too. None of them are like this. I am at my wits end

OP posts:
working9while5 · 31/12/2013 11:39

Yeah... you have a LOVELY attitude.

You're sick of her.
She's greedy.
She's demanding... not just about food but eeverything.
This is her personality.

If you want to help her have a better attitude to food go to a bloody nutritionist and stop acting like it makes you a saint to put up with your greedy demanding daughter you are so sick of.

koTinkaBell · 31/12/2013 11:43

working, one of the good things about this site, especially the special interest sections, is that we can vent a bit and express worry and frustration. That's all OP did.

Your responses are more suited to AIBU.

SauvignonBlanche · 31/12/2013 11:43

Bloody hell, there's some shitty posts on here!
My DD is the same and now has stretch marks. I was similar as a child and am overweight myself.
I'd love to avoid this for my DD.

Artandco · 31/12/2013 11:45

Does she get outside a lot? I only ask as ours are the complete opposite and I don't think have ever asked for food or said they are hungry. On a typical day they are rarely inside to even think about food.
Today they woke at 8, breakfast/ got ready and by 9am we were at the swimming pool with. Swam/ played 9-10.30 ish. Then we walked home through the park whilst they climbed on fallen trees. We literally have got in 10 mins ago and they are having a glass of milk. Will have lunch around 1ish, but they haven't eaten since breakfast despite the excercise.
This afternoon they will be back outside, inside for nap before back out for new year

On a typical summers day they are outside 6-9hrs a day, in winter 3-4 ish. That's outside in fresh air not just out of the house

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 11:45

Because none of us are ever sick of our child's behaviour and the impact it had on the whole family. Hmm

working9while5 · 31/12/2013 11:46

And I was initially feeling v sympathetic but I HATE people talking about their kids like this, it's just so unnecessary. The behaviour can be dealt with without using such crappy nasty language when the child might have prediabetes or sensory issues. She is only seven. I hate it anytime any parent goes on about their child's minor easily rectifiable issues as though they were intrinsically at fault as a young child when they are just in a pattern of BEHAVIOUR that needs to be changed. I believe it to be massively harmful.

working9while5 · 31/12/2013 11:46

Be sick of the behaviour.

Not the child's personality.

koTinkaBell · 31/12/2013 13:00

banging on about a phrase used is not actually helping the problem.

there are plenty of pearls among the pig shit though, OP, I hope some of the advice helps.

working9while5 · 31/12/2013 13:50

It wasn't the phrase tbh. Initially I posted very neutrally but OP' s continued insistence this is her child's demanding greedy personality is pants. The good advice had long been given. Go to GP, nutritionist etc, healthy foods in house, give plenty water, encourage exercise, keep active to avoid boredom, say as little as possible that's negative etc. Practical things OP can do to rectify any potential issues...

Followed by OP reposting how greedy and demanding her daughter is and always as been, how tiresome it is she looks for food constantly, how she sneaks into fridge to get food etc. Some nonsense about how none of this is because she was locked in a cupboard (???) and again and again insistence this is not hunger just greed.

Go get her checked out, establish there is no underlying medical reason, if not then work out the function of the BEHAVIOUR and deal with that. There is simply no need to make this about the child's personality or to avoid the reality that at seven the responsibility to change behavioural patterns is wholly down to the parent. Poster after poster has given sensible advice and OP still maintains it is mainly about greed and demands... to me that's an attitude issue, call it pig shit if you will.

MerryMarigold · 31/12/2013 14:18

Working, I think the difficulty is that the behavior may be hard to rectify if it is an intrinsic part of the child. You end up 'managing behavior' through hard work but not changing it, and ending up frustrated. In my case I believe my ds's food issues are beyond his control, although I'm teaching him it's important to control them (I hope). At the very least, I'm getting some nutrition into him even if its a big old battle at times.

VoyageDeVerity · 31/12/2013 14:26

Wow that is a huge amount of food. I can't believe some posters think that's not much for a 7 yo Shock

I feel for you OP I would take her to the GP and explain the situation.

youarewinning · 31/12/2013 14:53

I don't think the original lost is a huge amount but I am Shock at half a Camembert cheese.

I really think the way to get hold of this is to start what I and others have suggested of a snack box - so she can eat if hungry but what she eats is controlled. It may be sensory, boredom or whatever ATM but eating like that could lead to serious health problems.

Original poster
Orangeanddemons · 31/12/2013 15:49

Ok, thanks for all the kind and helpful advice on here.

Less thanks perhaps for the people who think I am a failed parent. But I find it highly amusing and entertaining that complete strangers think I am an awful parent.

Am going now, to reflect on the supportive ones, and find it interesting that someone thinks 1/2 a Camembert is a lot. I sort of thought this myself, but am so sort of skewed by how much she wants that I no longer know what is normal.

Am going now, but feel free to judge me as much as you want! I have taken all the help I need, and feel the thread will descend into a fight if continued.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 15:50

I hope you can get things sorted oranges

No judging here Thanks

ashamedoverthinker · 31/12/2013 15:57

Sometimes I am greedy and eat too many sweets etc.

Sometimes my kids are greedy, its not a sin to call someone greedy if it is percieved they are eating more food than they need.

The OP needs help to figure out what is reasonable in relation to her daughter needs not what we think. Someone posted about calories to weight ratio - thats a good starting point.

youarewinning · 31/12/2013 16:10

I hope my posts didn't come across as judging. They were long! But full of things that may work as I have a child who needs oral stimulation and can eat like a horse or nothing at all dependent on day/mood/ bowels/ what he's doing etc!

I don't think the Camembert is a lot in quantity - probably seems a lot because half seems a lot and because it's the type of cheese usually had in small quantities with a cheeseboard. I could eat whole one - I'm a cheeses holic!

Another thing that may help is breadsticks? My DS eats these dipped in cheeses spread/ dip etc as well as cucumber, carrot and celery sticks.

youarewinning · 31/12/2013 16:11

I've also actually told my DS to stop being a greedy pig in the past - so shoot me and call SS Grin

qumquat · 31/12/2013 16:54

It sounds like she has problems regulating her intake of sugar and simple carbs. I find sugar completely addictive and used to often eat icing sugar out of the bag, the asking for pudding all through main course also resonated with me. I recommend looking up the books by Kathleen Des
maison- there's one specifically relating to children, I think called Little Sugar Addicts. Cutting out sugar and simple carbs and upping protein and complex carbs can work miracles ( and has pretty much saved my life) - the book will suggest a gentle gradual way of doing this as going 'cold turkey' is rarely manageable.

Please please don't describe your daughter as greedy, it sounds like she has a difficult relationship food, possibly because of sugar sensitivity like me, deal with it now in a supportive and non judgmental way and she may avoid losing years of her life to eating disorders (like I did).

dozeydoris · 31/12/2013 17:10

Please ignore the holier than thou perfect beings, OP, they spoil an otherwise helpful thread.

I would like to know what the GPs views are if you can face posting here again.

VoyageDeVerity · 31/12/2013 17:10

Of course 1/2 a Camembert cheese is too much for a 7 yo.

Wow 1/2 is too much for a grown adult in one sitting!

dozeydoris · 31/12/2013 17:14

Just wondering - DD couldn't have worms could she?

Droves · 31/12/2013 17:21

What's wrong with the world when we can't say things that are fact .

Some people are greedy . Some people are not . It's only a word used to describe FFs . That's what's wrong these days . People are too afraid to say how it is . It's not a personal attack on the child if her mum says she's greedy . It's no different to saying a child is wingey or tantrumy , skinny or chubby , clever or average .

Too many kids are wrapped in cotton wool , never having had any insite into reality . It's not being cruel to be factual . It's cruel to make them believe the world is a magical wonderful place where no one will ever upset them , then push them into adulthood unprepared .

Cotton wool mummies are doing their kids no favours .
OP I like your attitude , I think your just trying to sort out your wee girl before her behaviour gives her an ingrained bad habit that causes too much weight gain as an adult . Nothing wrong with that , in fact it's being a good parent.

Original poster
Orangeanddemons · 31/12/2013 17:30

Hey Droves, I like your style.

I'm a straight talker, I call a spade a spade. My dd is the most delightful, wonderful, beautiful child that ever trod the earth, and she knows it. She is also greedy! Simple as that! Doesn't mean she is less worthwhile. She has excellent self esteem.

Have looked at that book, it does look interesting.

Thanks again to all the lovely helpful posts on here.

OP posts:
curlew · 31/12/2013 17:33

As my father used to say- calling a spade a spade is fine. Problems start when you call it a bloody shovel..........

Droves · 31/12/2013 17:36

No one is calling anyone a shovel Grin