Sick of my greedy daughter

[Orangeanddemons]

Dd is 7. She has always been greedy, but she is just intolerable now. We don't have any crap or junk in the house, as she was unmanageable around it.

She has eaten a large roast dinner 2 hours ago followed by yoghurt. She is now mithering and screaming that she is hungry. We try to ignore, but eventually you have to take a stand. She is like this every single day. Obsessed with food, nagging for food all the time.

I have had endless conversations about mouth versus tummy hunger, but it makes no difference. Nothing does. She just wants to eat all the time. I have tried to bring her up with a healthy attitude to food, but she is just obsessed with eating, so I have to restrict her.

We have 3 ds's too. None of them are like this. I am at my wits end

I ate whole boxes of cereal and pints of milk at this age, I would eat an adult sized tea and there would be war if anyone had more than me! I ate all day and any money was converted into food not toys. I bought nuts by the half pound and when a bit older would buy and eat whole frozen cheese cakes on the way to school. I liked fish and chips as a pre or post tea meal. I ate and ate and ate and was always hungry.

I am greedy, I still eat and eat and can polish off whole cake sand family bags of crisps and enjoy bad stuff too much BUT I am not fat am around 9.7 and 5 ft 7 and have a fairly large frame so this is just me. Am not a comfort eater, I just love food, thinking of it, buying it, cooking it and eating it. If I have junkd in that is super tasty I eat it in hours if not minutes. One of mine is like me...he never stops asking for food. I keep healthy stuff in, offer veg and fruit and load up the protein and fat rather than the sugar. So far he isn't fat either. You may have more going on but some of us are just hungry and a bit greedy... We all have to have a passion for something. Redirecting my enthusiasm into cooking at a high level have me better food and some better tuned taste buds...no cheap chocolate for me.

Surely you have scales and a tape measure in the house. Give us the measurements and things could be worked out properly! Did you post just to have a rant or because you want advice?

I don't think that this thread is terribly helpful, with so many people telling the OP just to feed her child more.

This is not from the OP's description a constantly active kid who is burning off the calories (I know I have one, eats everything in site but is very very skinny) or a tall but thin child - if she has the height of a 10 year old that that's absolutely fine but if she is getting too fat to fit those clothes than really that's not (especially as clothes are being cut more generously to fit a population that is becoming more and more overweight). Being tall doesn't compensate for being overweight (it just means you can hide more fat IME - dh and I are both tall and when we are overweight people just don't see it). Doing a BMI will give you an idea as to where she is sitting height/weight wise, but generally if clothes are too tight and she is looking a bit plump then she is almost certainly overweight.

This is a child who sounds like she has a problem with her 'off' switch and isn't recognizing when she is full because she likes the sensation of eating. OP I'd do a food diary (but make sure your dd doesn't see you doing it) and then go and see your GP. Your dd sounds like she is on the path to becoming seriously overweight but you should be able to put in place ways for her to manage her appetite better, and the earlier you do it the better. Plus is sounds like it's getting really intrusive.

In the meantime upping the GI levels of her diet and bringing in official snack times with plenty of notice, distraction etc might all help (we used most of these for ds to get his eating into a bit more of a manageable pattern, he also has some AS traits).

When was dd last assessed for her sensory issues ? tbh I think a referral back might be worthwhile , if only to eliminate it as a factor .

For a lot of people, carbs are massively appetite increasing, and getting plumper round the middle is a sign of that (insulin spikes and crashes lead to a cycle of hunger and eating, weight gain, more metabolic damage, eventually to health issues).

If a person is hungry within a couple of hours of eating, it suggest (if the meal had enough calories), that there were too many carbs for that person.
The solution is the same number of calories (assuming the person is eating the right amount), but to have more fat and more protein, and fewer carbs.

Thanks Nooka, that is what I'm thinking.

Yes, I did partly post to rant too!

i'd like to know what she does in the day - maybe she eats because she is bored and under stimulated. On days my kids park in front of the TV, they graze constantly. On days we are out and about, they dont.

OP, maybe look at what your child does in the day - is she a TV/Computer addict, or does she read, draw, do crafts, have friends over, play with her toys.

I'm confused about why she would mither and nag for food if she wasn't denied it in the first place? Surely on these occasions you have denied her food, at least initially.

I have made a point of never denying it. However it seems she eats almost continuously if it is never denied.

I have weighed and measured her. She is 4 ft 5and1/2 tall and 5 and 1/2 stone . On NHS calculator she is overweight, but on WHO charts her weight and height are on exactly the same percentile. Not 100% sure as have had to convert from imperial to metric, but seems pretty similar. I can't find her red book, but she was always bang on this line.

Seem to remember the NHS one had her overweight before when she wasn't according to the WHO ones.

So there you go! still confused

CDC charts put her on 91st centile (overweight) assuming that she was born in June 2006 (you said she was 7 1/2). NHS one with the same numbers comes out at 89% and just under the overweight category. Either way she's not thin, and if your observation is that she is gradually getting plumper then taking gentle action now to slow down the rate at which she is putting on weight will have long term benefits.

I second offering boring food only as an option, and I never had any hesitation in denying food if a meal was immanent (i.e. within an hour). If you always eventually say yes then the nagging/whining will never stop as it's effective.

This is all very speculative, what does your GP say OP? Please seek medical advice rather than labeling her greedy and demanding, she's a young child.

Being on the 91% means your child is over weight?

I am sorry if I sound over the top but I think the way you write about your daughter is quite disturbing. You're sick of her? She's greedy? I think she's just got a healthy appetite and you risk causing an unnecessary eating disorder. This country is full of people with eating disorders. Especially girls. Teach her what healthy snacks are. Teach her to drink water between meals and let her help herself. Then she won't have to pester you for food. She'll be able to reasonably control her own hunger. I think her eating sounds TOTALLY normal. I too had a massive appetite as a young girl and grew very very fast. I am a very healthy weight and have never been overweight but have suffered from an eating disorder (mild) due to family members commenting on what I eat. Leave her alone.

There were also lots of girls more 'slight' than me at school. I didn't have a very slim waist. Much taller than other girls my age. Her thumb sucking indicates to me that she needs love. Be kind!!

NewBeginningsSnoopy there are far more children who are overweight (one in three according to the last survey) than have eating disorders (around 2 per 1000). It's not kind to let a child become overweight and I believe that it is an important parental job to help our children to learn how to eat sensibly. Of course the OP needs to be very careful in how she manages this issue, but turning a blind eye is unlikely to be the best approach.

You should be speaking to her GP about it and perhaps asking for a referral to a nutritionist if your concerned.

by the by, I was a child who ate the raw baking supplies and was obsessive over all sweet/junk food. What was NOT helpful was having a mother who ridiculed me about it, embarrass me by telling everyone who would listen about it (still and I'm in my late 30s now), called me a "pig" etc and constantly discussed my weight. I'm not suggesting you do this, but as a cautionary word from the other side....it is not a good way to encourage a healthy relationship with food.

I wanted to add....perhaps consider swapping some of her carbs for lean protein which would take longer to digest and make her feel more full for longer. Swap the cereal for an egg on toast with a glass of milk and an apple for example.

When she is pestering for food I would make a veggie tray available with perhaps some fruit and say she can have that as needed.

GP referral to nutritionist.

Drop the value-laden judgement. It helps no one even if she is obese!

Can be v v harmful.

nooka has given some great advice! Good luck OP.

Also nooka your stats are misleading. 2 per 1000 refers to those with fullblown clinical disorder who are in danger. No way of knowing how many fall into the 'feel crap beyond belief about themselves because of being judged and berated for their weight'.

I was very skinny as a child and my overweight family teased me mercilessly about it. At puberty I started to gain for a few months and they were even worse about that. As an adult since having kids I am overweight but spent most of my 20's a 'healthy weight' but consumed with self-loathing and obsession about food. 'Be kind' is not equal to 'turn a blind eye'.

It just seems prudent with a young child to be cautious about sending messages about personality because the
child is eating too much. The oovereating will have a cause be it metabolic, sensory or emotional.

I have a dd just the same. Constantly asking/looking for food, never full. If we go somewhere where she is meant to be active eg play area, park, she is still asking for food rather than playing. I offer fruit as a snack - she will eat three bananas in a row. It is wearing so I sympathise.

When I see other children playing happily and concentrating on a task it reminds me how different my dd is.

Tinkertaylor

Being on the 91st percentile for body mass is overweight, yes. There is a BMI index aimed at children (in addition to the normal adult one) which is expressed in % terms.

Being on the 91st percentile for weight alone may or may not be overweight, depending on the child's corresponding height percentile.

I had 3 brothers, 2 much older and a younger one. I don't think I liked myself much as a child, the boys had so much fun (this was the 50s/60s) off on bike trips, meeting up with other lads, getting up to mischief. I was a wooss and not included, or, I should explain, I would have had to have been a very confident, interesting girl to have been included and I def wasn't that.

I used to not eat my school dinner, ever, lumpy potatoes etc, and everyone ate like dervishes, but wasn't skinny despite just having light breakfast and light evening meal. But loved sweet things (would kill for them but of course they weren't available much in the countryside).

Is there something that happens at meal times such as the boys taking over the conversation or similar, or have you, OP, just made a passing comment about loving to see their clean plates which has got confused in DD's head to contribute to her cravings.?

there are far more children who are overweight (one in three according to the last survey) than have eating disorders (around 2 per 1000).

nooka, maybe you should refrain from commenting about eating disorders until you understand that 'overweight' can be the physical manifestation of one.