Sick of my greedy daughter

[Orangeanddemons]

Dd is 7. She has always been greedy, but she is just intolerable now. We don't have any crap or junk in the house, as she was unmanageable around it.

She has eaten a large roast dinner 2 hours ago followed by yoghurt. She is now mithering and screaming that she is hungry. We try to ignore, but eventually you have to take a stand. She is like this every single day. Obsessed with food, nagging for food all the time.

I have had endless conversations about mouth versus tummy hunger, but it makes no difference. Nothing does. She just wants to eat all the time. I have tried to bring her up with a healthy attitude to food, but she is just obsessed with eating, so I have to restrict her.

We have 3 ds's too. None of them are like this. I am at my wits end

My 4 year old could eat that easily in a day - that would be normal, not when he's on a growth spurt.

He is a skinny minny whose trousers are constantly falling down due to not filling out his trousers.

Rice cakes. If she is prepared to eat the dry horrible things, then she really is hungry.

It's not healthy for a child to be constantly hungry and eat huge amounts. They may be skinny now but won't be for long.

It's great that OP recognises what's going on and is going to do something to help her DD. That is good parenting!

OP,

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread so someone else might have suggested this, but could she have a food intolerance? FIs can manifest as massive cravings for the food that the person shouldn't eat and can also create hysterical behaviour. Maybe worth checking out with a nutritionist.

Same behaviour is also true of tapeworm sufferers, so that's also worth investigating.

It doesn't sound that much food to me. My DS (13months) has had today, porridge and toast for breakfast, banana and raisins, mince and tomato pasta for lunch, fruit purée and plain yoghurt, cheese sandwich, apple and tangerine, lentil and veg bake for dinner and a crumpet. Also he eats breadsticks. He is not a fat baby he just likes food :) x

Obesity IS an eating disorder lol

I think what people have suggested about the types of food is really key. I was exactly like your daughter - well covered but not fat, cconstantly hungry and not that active. My parents were not keen on snacks between meals and my mum in particular obviously couldn't understand how I could want to keep eating. Unfortunately, this bewildered disapproval contributed to my lifelong habit of secretive binge eating, yo yo dieting and unsurprisingly, difficulty with my weight.

Fruit isn't very filling and isn't great for keeping blood sugar stable so on its own it's not an ideal snack. Bananas and berries are the best options, I think. I have always been hungry not long after a roast dinner, maybe because I don't balance the carbs with enough protein. Cereal and toast is a useless breakfast for me. Protein is crucial for keeping hunger under control. On a work day when I know I have to keep going til lunch, I will have a big bowl of muesli with plenty of nuts and oats with full fat Greek yogurt and berries. Or porridge made with milk and berries. On a day off, scrambled eggs/smoked mackerel/bacon type breakfasts will keep me full and give me much more energy. I would really look at foods which stabilise blood sugar and try not to make her feel that her food intake is being restricted because I really think there is a danger of this leading to bingeing

Addressing boredom eating is really tricky - I haven't cracked this! Eating half a Camembert sounds like mindless, pointless grazing but really is excessive so I see why you really want to resolve this issue, I would just advise caution as food and weight can become such emotionally loaded issues. Good luck!

What I meant to say is - I look at pictures and am surprised I wasn't fat as I remember feeling I was. I quickly became overweight though eating large amounts in secret. High carb foods quickly pull you into a vicious cycle of fluctuating blood sugar, frequent hunger and lethargy which leads you to seek a sugar boost which leads to a crash and so on and so on...I would be trying not so much to reduce amounts as much as change the type of food she is eating away from sugary carbs.

"It doesn't sound that much food to me. My DS (13months) has had today, porridge and toast for breakfast, banana and raisins, mince and tomato pasta for lunch, fruit purée and plain yoghurt, cheese sandwich, apple and tangerine, lentil and veg bake for dinner and a crumpet. Also he eats breadsticks."

Good grief, that's a horrendous amount for a baby - probably more than I would eat in a day (I'm size 10-12 and a BMI of 21). If you carry on at that rate at some point your DC WILL be very overweight.

So many people in the UK seem to have an inappropriate idea of the correct amount to eat that it would be fair to say there's a society-wide disordered approach to food. It's good that the OP has actually recognised this situation with her daughter and is trying to do something about it. I imagine there will always have been a certain proportion of the population who eat as much as they can physically stuff in - the difference now is that low-quality high-calorie food is freely available for almost everyone and possibly for the first time people need to learn the importance of self-control.

I clicked on this thread as my DD3 (3) can be a constant eater. She does take after me as I could graze all day. She eats breakfast reluctantly but then she will eat snacks, fruit, milk and meals all day long.
From some of the more helpful advice on this thread I will keep a food diary for a week and see what she is asking for and eating and I will stop giving in for an easy life. She will often ask for something as dinner/tea is cooking and I often give in to her.

OP I know your pain, it is hard work when they demand food all day long and I have called my dd 'piggy' and 'greedy' Like you say she is a lovely beautiful girl who is adored by everyone and in no way abused or neglected. She is what she is

Dyspraxia also means you never feel full.

Aphra- I expect it was in baby-sized portions!
Get a grip!

OP- my DD is very demanding also, she loves food too, and eats a huge variety, but does like sweet things a lot. She can be greedy at times, and it is wearing when she is constantly asking for things (she will ask for veg too, so I think she genuinely wants stuff, not just chocolate/sweets), but I thinnk it can be a habit for her, as she likes tastes, and enjoys food/eating.

We have always avoided anything that seems to be or hints at comfort-eating, we have always avoided using food/sweets/chocolate as rewards etc so there won't be issues there.

I hope you can find something of use in this thread, as you obviously care about her, and want to help her- it's important we help them find their off-switch themselves, as they need to be in control of their diet for the rest of their lives.

I respect that you want her to be a healthy weight, I'd worry too. In saying that, she may need food for a growth spurt or maybe theirs something missing in her diet that makes her crave food. When I was her age I always had at least four portions for every meal, my mother would give the first child sized portion, I'd inhale it and demand seconds, thirds... My friends parents used to invite me to dinner just so they could watch me eat. I was very skinny but still needed the extra for some reason. I ate more at seven than seventeen plus.

I think you should take her to the gp to get tests done just to make sure there's nothing wrong with her and a dietician to ensure she's getting enough food and create a plan that might fill her up without excessive weight gain.

If OP establishes there's no underlying medical, sensory or emotional reason for overeating in a SEVEN year old she can call her kid names til the cows come home but I still don't see how it's helpful in any way and I think it can often be harmful as many posters have suggested from their own adult experience.

To suggest not using pejorative terms for a young child is 'wrapping them up in cotton wool' is a bit of a laugh as is implying it's holier-than-thou not to want to assume something that could be medical is about a small girl's character.

You can't say someone is greedy factually. It's subjective and an opinion. Similarly actually with 'clever' etc. Tell me what good has ever come out of labelling someone using negative terms. Would anyone here like to be termed greedy or demanding? Honestly? Hardly positive then. If she was 10, 15, 20 at least she could be seen as more responsible for her own intake but at seven she's not going to be overeating without an underlying reason, be it medical or emotional.

OP hasn't given an indication anywhere she is going to follow any advice. Pages back she was asked if she was going to take her to a professional to deal with this. Dealing with worries is good parenting, talking about them on an internet forum is neither here nor there.

I hope you get it sorted OP and I am sorry if I was attacking. It just infuriates me when people blame young kids for their behaviour in a way that makes it about who they are. It's part of how our English language works. We say 'I am Chris' or 'I am Jane' to identify ourselves and when we use other labels it tends to become part of how we see ourselves too.... 'I am greedy/clever/ugly/mean' etc. It sounds more static and more a part of who you are. Yes I see you don't use these words... but this attitude will come across.

My mother always tells the story of her friend who was brought up being told she was pretty while her sister was told she was clever. My mum's friend grew up feeling thick while her sister felt ugly! There are adults all over the world feeling crap about themselves because their families labelled them, often unthinkingly and without malice.

Look at it another way. What do you gain from insisting she's just greedy and demanding? What would you lose from taking a more neutral and non-judgemental stance to her overeating and just following some advice here to get it checked out? Honestly, is there anything actually positive about 'sticking to your guns' that this is just who she is?

Just go and do what needs to be done. You've had oodles of advice. No sure really why thread is even going still.

The OP is telling us DD is greedy, not telling DD, you are making assumptions.

No sure really why thread is even going still

because I feel obligated to contradict your critical 'holier than thou' attitude.

I've not had a chance to read the entire thread so don't know if anyone else has suggested this - could it be indigestion?

I get indisestion after eating, usually about an hour after which makes me feel totally STARVING hungry. It's taken me years to work out what it was. When I got it I would eat and eat to try and get rid of the feeling, it was that type of hunger that makes you feel nauseous. Anyway these days I treat it with indigestion remedies instead of food.

Just thought it may be worth considering, especially if she is super hungry an hour or so after meals. Brown rice is the worst culprit for me.

Good luck OP.

My child started eating for England aged 8 or 9 and still is aged 11. He's very skinny despite everything.

I was an oral child too. Loved my thumb, started smoking in my late teens and then ate more when I gave up. I come from a very lovely home but still turned to oral comfort.

Can you get her cooking properly? Basic savoury dishes so she learns about balance, responsibility and nutrition. Also it might be worth helping her develop some other self soothing methods - so knitting or drawing etc.