Sick of my greedy daughter

[Orangeanddemons]

Dd is 7. She has always been greedy, but she is just intolerable now. We don't have any crap or junk in the house, as she was unmanageable around it.

She has eaten a large roast dinner 2 hours ago followed by yoghurt. She is now mithering and screaming that she is hungry. We try to ignore, but eventually you have to take a stand. She is like this every single day. Obsessed with food, nagging for food all the time.

I have had endless conversations about mouth versus tummy hunger, but it makes no difference. Nothing does. She just wants to eat all the time. I have tried to bring her up with a healthy attitude to food, but she is just obsessed with eating, so I have to restrict her.

We have 3 ds's too. None of them are like this. I am at my wits end

at kids eating a weeks worth of food in a day. Makes me feel like there's something wrong with mine

Dd1 toast- one slice with peanut butter

    Sandwich with one slice of bread-fried egg served with          
    pepper and cucumber. Blueberries. 

     Small bowl of vege chilli rice and steamed veg,               
     unfinished. Too full fir pudding.

I don't think she has Prader Willi as I just checked on the website.

I thought children needed about 1200 calories a day. She is 7 but is really the height of a 10 year old, and yes some things are difficult to fasten around her waist.

I love my daughter which is why I am trying to get to the bottom of this. She just loves food, and seems to have no off switch. Since my last post she has eaten a cheese sandwich and an apple.

She has always eaten a lot, even as a baby she was a great eater. I try and have a normalish attitude to food. A bit over fond of the sweet things, but agree with the mantra of moderation in everything.

DS has dypraxia. For YEARS he was the pickiest, smallest eater out.

I fretted. I wept. I wondered.

Then his appetite caught up with him, as it were.

Years of fretting. for nowt.

Ok another 'out there' idea! It's 9pm and she's 7yo. I know it's the holidays so there's not a bedtime generally but wondering if she's feeling tired and eating keeps her alert and awake? My DS does the same.

I think children have their 'thing' which they use for comfort and your DD uses food. I would seriously try and distract her with a fun activity. So tomorrow an hour after a meal when you think she's about to start the starving routine start a fun game. If she's hungry I imagine she'll still want to eat instead? If she'd rather do 7yo stuff then I'd say it is more likely she is just one of those people who uses food for comfort - and yes that does need addressing and I think it's great your willing to do so.

Ds is 9 and eats adult size meals. If we go out to eat he will always choose from the adult menu and eat everything. If I fed him child sized portions he would be complaining like your dd. The food you have listed doesn't give any indication of portion size and she may be genuinely hungry. Why not try giving her large meals and seeing if that makes a difference?

Ds is slim but very active.

She needs about 34 calories per lb of body weight, per day.

If she is the size of a ten year old, she weighs around 70lb.

She needs over 2000 calories per day to maintain healthy growth, according to these figures .... And you've been trying to restrict her to 1200, which is less than is appropriate for a three year old.

This is what I meant when I said you need to adjust your attitude. She's not an infant any more. She needs portions that are more like adult portions. You've been trained all yur life to not gain weight, and to eat accordingly, but she is SUPPOSED to be gaining weight. She's growing.

Her chronological age isn't really relevant to this.

And for the last time, please accept that she is hungry. If she's overweight, exercise her until she drops. If you have been keeping her to the presumed 'adequate' calorie amount of 1200 a day, she's been getting less than 60% of what her body needs to grow and be healthy UNLESS she nags, begs, whines, demands and screams, so don't be surprised if this has become a behavior she considers necessary in order to be adequately nourished.

great posts colditz.

Tell us her weight & height, OP. We'll stuff that into a calculator and decide if it looks like a problem.
DC clamour for food a lot; DH is always telling them to get a drink of water. It's pretty silly. The drink a lot of water & still clamour for food. i think he just resents feeding them!

So I must have missed it, presume you have taken her to the gp?

Last thing i read said 1800 for children from age 4/5 so at 1200 she is a third below recommended intake.

Good lord, if she's the height of a 10 yo and you are restricting her food intake in such a fashion (and then complaining) it's actually quite unkind.

Your child is hungry and is below the weight required for her height. You are not feeding her enough. Please offer her more food (of a sensible, healthy variety) if she is complaining of hunger.

The menu you posted as an example of her greed looks fairly ordinary to me - all three of mine have easily covered that amount in a day (none of them are overweight) and more.

I would also say that I understand that whiny kids are a pain - but in your dd's case, I think she's justified. I also wondered about boredom, but when you said her height, I think she's just genuinely hungry, and probably going through a growth spurt. My eldest dd ate twice as much as my 6'2" rugby playing dh yesterday at mealtimes (full roast dinner plates, and dh loves roast - she had had three poached eggs on toast plus bacon for breakfast...)

She's not greedy. She's hungry.

(I do have sympathy with the sugar addiction though Ds empties the baking supplies regularly. In your dd's case, this could be desperation as you have restricted everything else and banned 'all junk' as well as the food she needs to grow - in ds's case it is because he has some underlying sn and an addictive personality - his psych is on it ;-) we find the wee tubes of writing icing empty under his bed ;-) and we never have any Choc chips left to bake with...)

I think we need to know height and weight first really. When she says size of a ten yr old I took that to mean that she's wearing clothes for a ten yr old. That anything smaller is too tight round waist which could be a worry if she isn't in proportion.

My dd can wear anything from 4-5 upwards depending on cut and style ad whether it's a dress or not

You need to listen to colditz. That is far too little for someone the height of a 10 year old. My dd is 3 and eats that much sometimes. I just let her regulate her own appetite and she is a normal weight.

I wondered if it the oral stimulation that she finds soothing - did she suck a dummy or thumb as a baby?

Somehow you need to work out if she likes the feeling of a full tummy or she likes the process of having food in her mouth.

I would keep a food diary for several weeks detailing her intake includine weights before visiting the gp and asking for a referral.

I also don't find her diet excessive. My 3 year old average sized DD will often eat adult-sized portions of main meals (she has a 3 course lunch at preschool and another cooked meal in the evening) with substantial snacks morning and afternoon - afternoon snack might be a sandwich, big bowl of fromage frais, and fruit. (On the other hand, she can also tolerate much less without complaining).

When I was a kid I ate bread between meals - great slabs of it covered in butter and jam. I like fruit but I don't find it sates hunger. I've always been reasonably slim (size 10-12).

In short, based on the day's food that you've described, I'd simply give your DD more and more filling or more sustaining food, but if you feel there is something more to it get her to a GP as it sounds as though it's making you both miserable.

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/how-many-calories-do-children-need.aspx?CategoryID=51

my ds is a huge eater - in infants school, he would have double dinners, because he could not cope with kiddie portions. come home and eat toast, then a man sized dinner with pudding. He is tall, but at 14 is only just going through puberty - he will be enormous when fully grown.

I think you need to feed her more. SOme kids have a naturally high metabolism. At 7, my tiny bird-like DD could pack away over 3000 calories a day and it never seemed to go anywhere.

my niece and nephew are a case in point.

Nephew, small boy, picky fussy little bugger ( i know, I looked after them for a couple of years) niece, hearty wasn't the word. She could scoff three times the amount her brother would eat. no probs. no fussiness. just loved her grub.

Now they are 5 and three. He is still small, but since starting school his appetite has rocketed. Scoffs everything put in front of him. needs constant feeding. Niece, on the other, hand, has turned picky...but only an inch or so under nephew, and a couple of pounds only too...she is the size of a five year old...then you look at her parents, both tall and well built...maybe nephew is the odd genetic one?

who knows? Unless there is a real issue, children will regulate their own intake.

worms?

I would explain to her that you are listening to her and want to help. I would then say that henceforth, there will be no more snacks. But she will be able to eat as much as she wants at mealtimes.

So, four meals a day: breakfast, lunch, 4 o clock, supper. Between these meals, nothing. But unrestricted at the table at mealtimes.

Eat as a family. No restrictions on quantity or type of food during meals. No commentary. Offer lots of healthy lean protein, various veggies, bread, fruit, cheese at every meal.

Stop all negativity around food. Terms such as "greedy", "intolerable", "wits end" etc. all need to stop.

I feel quite sorry for your dd, actually, OP. You do seem to be restricting her food intake inappropriately. Poor thing. Being hungry is horrible, much more so when you are a child.

And calling her 'greedy' (!) and saying you're 'sick of' her behaviour around food does indicate that there are some issues and some projecting going on on your side.

My DS is 6 he eats the same size meals as me. He also goes through periods of been unfillable usually will find he has grown when he has finished, He isn't a big breakfast person but does eat bowl of cereal.or couple of slices of toast, morning snack, lunch he doesn't have a sandwhich he would have sandwhich coleslaw, mini scotch egg, cheese , fruit and maybe yoghurt, something like biscuit for afternoon snack and then a proper meal with 2 veg then pudding then milk and another snack for supper...you can see his ribs...

Youo haven't answered how active your daughter is? Does she have any treats or is she always depreived?

Is she demanding about other issues or just food?

I thought about my DS's diet today and have to say it wasn't the best we ate out at Pizza express, there are tons of chocolate around as it is Christmas...Have you had any treat food in your house...

I talk to my DS about balanced diet..I tell him he needs the fats as he is growing and as a parent when I think he has had enough of a food group I will let him know..

Does she drink enough?

oh another question does she have sugar or sweetners particualry in things like sugar free squash ..these can make you far more hungry