Terrible Twos!!! Feel like calling in Supper Nanny????!!

[Reece]

Ds (2.8) has been difficult since DS2 came along 16 months ago but in the last month his tantrums,tears and stubborness have esculated big time.

Typical morning before 9am - Jumps out cot (refuses to sleep in bed)refuses to use potty, refuses to take off pull-up and PJ's. When downstairs asks for weetabix, serve him with warm milk as asked and then refuses to eat it saying that he wants Special K instead. I say no because he had asked for Weetabix. He then proceeds to throw entire bowl of Weetabix on the floor and rant about Special K. I don't give in and try hard to ignore his tantrum. Still won't use potty, demands TV, I refuse until he uses potty and helps to get dressed and washed etc. He continues to rant and rave for 20 + mins. At this stage we are running late for playschool and DS2 is not washed and dressed etc etc.

I expect there are many of you out there that think this is just intermediate stuff but I just need some guidance on how to deal with it.. I feel myself raging inside but know that will make things worse. He is pushing and pushing me and I know I will burst at some stage.

Last night he refused to stay in his room, kept jumping out of the cot for about 2 hours screaming. He was running all over the house upstairs going through my room etc. I tried the quietly placing him back in bed again and again method (don't know what it's called) but he kept waking DS2. DH and I ended up giving up and going downstairs to leave him to it. i feel like locking him in his room.

How long does the terrible 2's last for? Do they have terrible 3's as well??? Parenting is extremely tiring and frustrating at the moment. I am not enjoying him and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Help!!

launndrylover sounds like you are doing really well with your DD. Well done.

FOM your B'F sounds great. It makes such a difference to have people around you that understand and support you. DH and I should sit down more to make sure we are setting the same rules or poor DS's are just going to be confused and then take advantage. They already know who is good cop and who is bad cop. Which am I do you think?

I have to try the video camera in Ds's room. Tying to think where I can put it so he doesn't get his hands on it. His room is small. I might try hiding it under the duvet of the toddler bed next to his cot. This is going to be fun. Especially because daddy wil be home tonight and it's these nights that he plays up the most as he plays us off against each other. Divide and rule....

Glad you are enjoying the thread. It makes such a difference to just know that other mums are finding it tough at times to. It also helps to share experience and ideas on coping etc.

2crooners - sorry missed your last post. We always seem to post around the same time

Lazy town! Oh my god it drives me crazy! I have to say I am a great fan of Pingu. It's so funny.

As regards the words 'naughty and good' - I use these a lot to. I try to say 'clever' etc but it just doesn't always come naturally. Gee I just think that we are all told what we should and shouldn't be doing/saying etc too much these days. Was it this complicated when we were growing up? I don't think so.

As regards the Baby/toddler thing - I found that even though DS1 was a lovely placid baby it was hard work and quite restricting but then he was the 1st and the 1st is always a shock to the system. DS2 was a placid baby and still at 16mths is thank the lord

The 2nd baby was a lot easier as you have done it all before and it all just comes naturally without the effort that was needed with the 1st. This is when I realised that DS1 was the hard work as a toddler. He can push my buttons, say NO, wee all over the floor, jump out of bed, refuse to get into his car seat etc. My babies just slept a lot which was great.

Ds was great today I am learning to be more consistant etc and he is learning to do as he is told or face the consequences.

Bedtime was a breeze. He used the potty, I showered him, got him ready for bed, read stories etc. and put him into the cot. He didn't come out once!!!! hurray....

I am soooo pleased. He was wrecked as we had been playing in the garden all afternoon.

The removal of toys for bad behaviour is so far paying off and he is realy pleased and grateful when he has earned them back.

How did everyone elses day/night go?

We had quite a good day yesterday, no shouting or screaming. DD was home and we had lots of visitors so I think she was kept out of trouble most of the day.
The problem we have is that I hate staying in the house on my own with her as I get bored but I also get bored playing with her. I mean theres only so much playdo or painting I can take. So if im bored she must be also, which then causes the naughty behaviour. I wish I was one of those parents who can play with their children for hours.

I feel the same as well. Tbh who has the time to play with the kids all day long? I try to spend spells of time with DS's throughout the day in between cleaning, shopping, cooking, tidying up, gardening, doing the laundry, ironing,washing the car etc.etc I do feel guilty nearly every day that I don't spend enough playtime with Ds's but isn't also good to encourage them to play alone as well? This way they learn to amuse themselves and use their imagination. I just think there needs to be a good balance but this is sometimes very difficult to do.

When we see them getting bored and acting up then it's great to start up some kind of play with them. Doesn't this always seem to be the case when you are on the phone or have your hands full with another upset child etc

Our bedtimes are going ok at the moment. DS went down well tonight and only came out of room once. When he realised that I wasn't going to be upstairs to return him to the room (he sees this as a huge game) he wanted me to put him back his cot and he went happily to sleep

Not caught up properly but just to say 2crooners that DD2 moved into the little playroom at 6 weeks as she was sooo noisy in our room and then in with DD1 at 12 weeks as too big for the crib.
They are fine together and she usually sleeps thru the wailing etc!!!
DD1 was in bed with us for 10 weeks and then in her cot in our room til 6 months but since then we've moved house and also got tough!!
Will catch up with these terrible two year olds soon but off to bed with my mastitis forno sleep again!

Well done laundrylover.
DS has been pretty good these last few days. Only having the odd tantrum. Seems to be a lot calmer although has a little cold so is loving all the extra attention.

I have been making the effort to give him more hugs and kisses than usual. I think he likes this, it makes him feel special and also he realises that its not just DS2 getting all the attention.

I think I have been expecting DS to grow up too quickly (getting frustrated when he can't/won't dress etc)so I am also slowing things down a bit, taking stock and am teaching him how to do things for himself.

Thanks laundrylover, at least I know putting two in a room together can be done! Mastitis, oh poor you. It is evil and this weather must make it a million times worse .

kbaby and reece, me too I'm afraid, the whole day at home is something I go to ridiculous lengths to avoid, I end up on completely unnecessary outings (and usually end up buying something I didn't plan to buy). It just gets so boring for everyone if we stay in, it's particularly difficult at the moment because it's too hot to pop out to the swings/shops for a bit of sanity.

Reece, you have time to wash your car? You should be using that valuable time to eat biscuits or something and get someone else to wash the car! I don't think I have washed a car since before dd1 was born ....I have eaten a lot of biscuits though!

Anyway must go as dd2 has decided not to bother with sleeping today, instead concentrating mostly on screaming madly for no obvious reason.....

Yeh I know washing the car sounds crazy but tbh I didn't wash it myself for about 2 years. Now I do it occasionally when I feel energetic enough and DS1 helps me so it keeps him amused for a while to

Don't worry - I have been eating a lot of biscuits to and I am a huge chocoholic!

oooooh chocolate! I don't even want to think about the quantities I'm getting through at the moment but it's certainly not going to help me shed those post pregnancy pounds. Maybe once dd1 and 2 are in bed I should go and energetically wash the car rather than watching big brother and eating chocolate!

I think you are right about expecting them to grow up too quickly, they can do (and insist on doing) so much now that it's easy to forget that they are still babies really.

I know from experience that the best thing to do when dealing with a tantrum is to remember that I am the grown up and try to defuse the situation or distract her and move things on before it all goes too badly wrong. If I get cross or tell her off then she just cranks up the volume and the whole thing can drag on for hours, leaving everyone feeling awful. I know that I should try to overlook the minor stuff and save the discipline for the really bad stuff....but it's so hard not to get dragged in and get cross. For example, this morning everything was fine until she suddenly and out of the blue went into a huge whiny tantrum because the coffee table was in the wrong place in the living room. I should have just moved it for her, but her behaviour was so extreme (and loud) that I got cross with her for being silly. End result: major meltdown. If I had just been nice and moved the table for her it would have made life a lot easier, but would I then be rewarding the whinging and whining?

Anyway must go again now as dd2 is still refusing to sleep and the "controlled crying" does not seem to be working....

Bugger I forgot big brother. Didn't forget the chocolate though

Have had no energy today (dirty car) and have actually been feeling really short tempered as if I could lose the plot at any moment. Not a good way to be when you are around 2 demanding children.

Still I did OK. DS1 was ok most of the day but this afternoon I think he was tired and he had me running around in circles after him like I was his personal butler. It got to the point that he ignored every request I made and he was driving me nuts. I tried to stay calm but it wasn't easy. Only good thing - he was sooo tired that he went to bed really easily

I can beat that FOM. DS was up at 4am this morning! He was out of the cot and into our room wide awake and revving to go.

Every time we returned him to his room he just came out again. This happened for about a hour and a half Just as I got him to stay and go back to sleep DS2 woke up and had to come into our bed. It was so humid that I couldn't sleep so I am wrecked now for the day

I am so cranky when I don't get a good nights sleep. DS1 is still in bed, catching up on last night. Ummm I would like to do that. Oh well...

Oh my god DS is driving me up the walls this morning. Ignoring everything I ask him to do, emptying out the clothes from his wardrobe, throwing toys all over the house, messing up the beds etc etc.

I guess this is going to be a bad day

My lack of sleep and the heat doesn't help. DS of course is full of energy and raring to go!

It has taken me all morning just to get the kids fed, washed and dressed. I am just going to make myself a cup of tea and draw up a plan in my mind for the rest of the day as it has all gone out the window for this morning.

Does anyone else feel absolutely exhausted and in need of a good break away from their kids? If so where would you like to go and for how long?

The thought of floating on a lilo out in the med away from the beach sounds absolute heaven. I also love that feeling at the end of a hot sunny day when the sun is waning and you just lie on the beach dozing off listening to the waves breaking the shore..... Sorry getting carried away.

Yep, DS has been watching Cbeebies. What would we do without it?

I have noticed a considerable improvement in his behaviour once his DB has been put to bed for his nap for a couple of hours. We have made scones, done jigsaws, word cards and had our lunch together He obviuosly loves the 1 on 1 attention. It's all calm at the moment but I am sure it will all kick off again later.

I am soooo reluctant to take him out this afternoon after yesterdays disaster when he kept weeing everywhere we went. Maybe the park will be the safe bet!

Ds came out of his room 3 times tonight. He wanted me to stay upstairs so we could play 'DS jump out of cot mummy put me back again'.! I did the same as you the 1st 2 times and then the 3rd time I used my firm authoritative voice and he stayed put . Took about 5 minutes max. I'm happy with that for now but yes it's irritating that they keep coming out.