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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

erections in 3yr old-on seeing images and touching etc

142 replies

ihatethetweenies · 29/04/2006 19:38

Hi, I'm a bit embarrassed to be posting this to be honest but for about 6 months now my (soon to be) 3yr old son has erections quite frequently.
The thing is that he has them when he looks at pictures of woman and he gets them when he asks for cuddles from me (he likes to pull up his tshirt and put his tummy on my back or belly for a cuddle), though not all the time. He's aware that this is happening as he always laughs and wants to show anyone in the region his "big willy"
I've just made a joke of it and we always say to him -"oh put it away" and laugh. I've also started to tell him that certain private parts are "mummy's"

Should this be happening? The thing that I'm getting slightly concerned about is that he is due to start nursery soon-what if he does it to someone else?

TIA xx

OP posts:

Tortington · 30/04/2006 01:00

its normal for kids to explore - thats how they learn. the social acceptablity of this is learned from our parents and then later our peers as well.

my son went through a fiddling stage. i told him to stop it.

its not the @perfect parent@ approach - i didnt go overboard i just told him to stop it - when he did it.

MamaMaiasaura · 30/04/2006 01:28

Shame she isnt coming back fwiw I think mn is often a fab place to sound out parenting issues with the comfort of anomynity iykwim.

My ds of 6 has had erections since a baby. It is completely normal and non sexual in an adult way.

Ds does fiddle with his bits and i tend to ignore it as he doesnt do it when out and about. They are his bits to fiddle with as he pleases imho.

Re pictures of women think it is coicendental. Ds fiddles sometimes when i read him bedtime story and i really dont believe for one minute that it is because he is being read QPootle 5!

Talking of semi clad ladies in supermarkets.. when walking round M&S with ds past the lingerie section ds now pipes up in a loud voice @Naaakey Layyyyyydddiiieeess!' and seeing my embarrassment continues as i try and abandon the area

Rhubarb · 30/04/2006 12:15

May I just pop in to defend myself? Please could all of you read my original posts at the beginning of this thread.

I gave my experience of my own ds - is this not giving help? I also warned IHTT that name changing for such a topic could be misconstrued, I asked her if she would understand why this is. I did not mention the word abuse, that was IHTT, I think she misconstrued my first post when I asked if he went around naked a lot - I wasn't suggesting she or anyone else was abusing him I was just curious as to how she noticed he was having an erection - at this age their willies are so small that if he was wearing pants, who would notice? Perhaps I should have been clearer that this is what I was getting at.

I am not the MN Police, I don't go around accusing people of being trolls and nor did I accuse IHTT of being a troll, if I had I wouldn't have put my experience with ds on would I?

If anyone still has a problem with my posts then please feel free to CAT me and tell me so. If you think I'm a shit-stirring attention-seeking uneducated whore then tell me so. Along with your reasons for thinking this and quotes from the posts you find offensive - just so I can give all the evidence to my lawyers so I can successful sue for defamation and slander. I don't appreciate personal insults when I have not given them out myself or done anything to warrant them.

SoupDragon · 30/04/2006 12:25

Rhubarb, you're a shit-stirring attention-seeking uneducated whore. allegedly.

FrannyandZooey · 30/04/2006 12:27

My problem with your post, Rhubarb was that you said "My son doesn't do that so I don't believe yours does". (I am paraphrasing)

I think this thread deteriorated very quickly after inferences that the OP was lying. Not surprising I guess.

SaintGeorge · 30/04/2006 12:34

Why is that phrase of Rhubarb's any different to the 2nd post on this thread, from cod? Phrased slightly differently maybe but making the same point.

Rhubarb asked some clear, valid questions in her post which were ignored.

Rhubarb · 30/04/2006 12:39

I said I didn't believe that a 2.5yo boy could get aroused by looking at images of women or packets of tights, no.

I never suggested she was lying - find me a quote that does. I asked her if she understood why, as a first-timer or name-changer (she didn't specify which) a thread about erections in little boys could be seen a suspicious. I have to hold my hand up and say that I thought it suspicious and I consulted with dh who said that no way a 2.5yo or a 3yo could get erections just by looking (fiddling yes, but not by looking) and he said that he also found it suspicious.

However, I didn't report the post (benefit of doubt) and declined to comment further as soon as she said I was suggesting she was guilty of abuse. The only reason I have come back is that I do not appreciate the personal insults. Surely a reasonable person would understand why a topic such as erections in little boys could raise some suspicions? It it were me I'd be assuring everyone as to the validity of my posts, not jumping down peoples throats with accusations of abusing calling and personal insults.

mears · 30/04/2006 12:48

Oblomov - I know exactly what you are describing because I had the same scenario with one of my son's when he was about 3 or 4 years old.

I was concerned at his 'rubbing himself' on various ythings that I did speak to my GP about it. The first time he did it I thought he was balancing on the end of the sofa but he was actually rubbing himself and started panting

I am almost embarrassed describing this to you but reading some of the shocked posts I wanted to let mothers know that this is a normal behavious from a boy who has suddenly found an erect penis that has sensations! He was not turned on by looking at pictures or anything like that. I do not believe toddlers have that capacity. I think it is probably co-incidental that ihatethetweenies little boy has an erection and there is a picture nearby rather than a deliberate response. I do think an erect penis is sensitive though, and rubbing is a 'nice' sensation.

Anyway, GP reassured me of normailty aspect and I just told DS that if he wanted to do that he must go to his room. Just really play it down and he will pass through this normal stage of development.

shimmy21 · 30/04/2006 13:58

If IHTT is still lurking -don't worry about the nursery thing. They are well-used to little boys. My ds would always have a fumble with himself at pre-school story time with stiffy in open view of all. The no-nonsense teacher would just say 'Put your todger away this minute ds' and he would. No big deal and the other kids wouldn't even look round.

oops · 30/04/2006 14:25

my ds isn't interested in himslef at all really. he once did get quite a big erection when watching the teletubbies tho!
but his friend, a girl wnet through a major league stage of fiddling with herself. She was being pooty trained so had alot of acees, and is very stubborn so wouldn't put clothes on. She fiddled and fiddled with herslef in full view, just used to sit down, open her legs and get started!
It took quite a while to convince her it was a private thing to do, but nobody involved though for one minute that it wan't a natural thing to do.
I think that some kids do and soome kids don't, so BH- maybe yours don't but other perfectly normal and well adjustedchildren do..
hth
and i don't think anyone is a troll either

drosophila · 30/04/2006 20:06

Haven't read all the thread but I have posted on this very subject about my friends boy. He is 6 and gets erections when watching scantily clad women on MTV. I googled to see if it was common but found nothing. I thought it was strange that he got aroused looking at Women but I believe my friend. My boy rarely get erections so it was all a bit new to me.

Rhubarb · 30/04/2006 22:27

Big difference 6 and nearly 3. Huge.

veNivIDiViCkiqV · 30/04/2006 22:48

Actually Rhubarb, i did think you got short shrift. BUT, i know you can handle your own AND the "uneducated" comment is laughable.

Rhubarb · 01/05/2006 09:10

I'm consulting my lawyers atm!

alexsmum · 01/05/2006 09:47

don't know if its a god idea to post anything on this thread after it's kicked off so much! but here goes.when my ds was about 4.6 he was sitting on my knee and we were watching one of these saturday evening 'light entertainment' shows and there were two women singing a duet and dancing together while wearing short skirts.After a while he said to me 'mummy , its so beautiful when those ladies dance, its making my willy jump'

i just said 'is it darling' waited a few minutes and went to make a drink and explode in the kitchen.!!
i think most little boys are in love with their willies.pretty normal.

waterfalls · 02/05/2006 13:30

alexsmum
pmsl

blossomhill, dont worry about the confusion

forestfern · 08/05/2006 00:30

The worry is - that you are worried. I think that it is natural for children to be able to readily tap into anything pleasurable within their own bodies - they are a huge sensate focus! Also I think there is at which they recognise the opposite sex very early on. They may even show interest in each other at an organ level - probably also a curiousity about the difference. However, I do not know at what age a child would understand and be stimulated by the adult sexual form? I would guess maybe above school entry age at least? Dont know though.

In your situation I would want to be sure that he was not getting some inappropriate input from somewhere. Just to put my mind at rest. Not saying necessarily abuse. Maybe some material left around somewhere? There is an increasing amount of visual stimulation at eye level I suppose, generally. Maybe just that.

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