I give up, i really do. (long sorry)

[tamba]

I am so upset and you will probably all think it is a really trivial reason but its the build up of it happening every morning for the past month and i just give up now cause whatever i do it doesnt work.

We struggled to buy this house and spent hundreds of pounds decorating it as it was a mess when we bought it.

We repapered all the rooms and had new carpets put down etc, but now i wish i hadnt bothered.

We did the boys room in bob the builder paper, with a border and stickers... the first night they slept in there, they ripped the boarder off, found a crayon in the toy box and scribbled on the walls and ripped some of the paper from the walls.

They also found a crayon and coloured on the new sofas and walls in the living room (where they keep getting the crayons from i dont know!!)

The upstairs hall was a lemom colour - it is now covered in crayon and i cant get it off.

The main problem is the bathroom though, this is what has really got to me. Ds1 would go into the bathroom before waking us up, he turns on the taps, shreds the toilet roll, smears toothpaste and sudo cream everywhere, ds2 plays in the toilet and gets totally wet.. so we got stairgates, one on the bathroom door and one on the bedroom (to stop him sneaking down stairs and trashing the kitchen - eggs in the washing machine etc) but he climbs over them. Every morning they are wet and the bathroom is a state.

This morning he got in the bathroom bin - i had been on my period all week so there were used sanitary towels in there - they were playing with them, it was so discusting, they were even down the toilet, in the boys bedroom, and i still think there are some missing, they shredded the toilet roll and there are lumps of wet tissue everywhere.

Hes 3.5 so not a baby (ds2 is 20 months and is dragged over the stairgates to help trash the bathroom) What more can i do to keep him out the bathroom? I seriously give up - what is the point of trying to give them a nice home, so much money wasted, the house looks worse than it did before we moved in.

Theres a pile of stuff for me to sort out in the bathroom now and i cant be bothered, i just want to cry.

Sorry this is long.

Hi Tamba, hope the good progress continues.
Am I right in thinking you also have a recent thread about your DS being attacked by another boy at nursery? This was happening just under a week ago? Do you think there could be a connection - some feling of insecurity, 'testing' to see what happens if you are 'naughty',- linked to what if anything happened with this other boy?
Sorry if I have got the wrong end of the stick or mixed up two posters.

i meant "what, if anything, happened by punishment or consequences" for this other boy's behaviour, didn't mean to imply nothing had happened to your DS.

Really glad to read that things are going so much better, Tamba

actually hovely, thats a good point. Ds was still nervous of going into nursery today and i dont think that the nursery staff have reassurd him - they seem to have forgotten about it.

Thanks for pointing that out as i hadnt thought of it til now. Maybe that has something to do with it. This other child started nursery soon after we moved into this house and co-incides with the trashing.

My ds is leaving nursery on friday anyway but how can i reassure him?

We got no sleep last night, poor ds1 has a chest infection so was coughing all night - on the bright side though there was no mess this morning, I am hoping he falls asleep very soon as he is exhausted. I am making him a doctors appointment for his chest and I may ask the doctor about his trashing of the house too.

i havent read all of this, so i apologise if this has been repeated..

what about putting little latches at near the top of the door to keep ds(s) out of the bathroom? we have done this with many of our rooms. you can get them at B&Q for like £2.

i had a quick google on removing crayon marks:

Crayon on walls I haven't seen anyone say this one. Take a pad and just damp it and dip a little baking soda and rub and then clean off with clean water.

Crayon Marks on Walls To remove crayon marks from your walls, heat it with a hair dryer for a few seconds, then wipe with a soft cloth. The wax of the crayon melts and will wipe right off. --

Crayon On Walls I have tried both of the other methods you have shown, and neither worked successfully. The only method I found that worked quickly and easily was to use white spirit and an only rag. It works a treat, but be careful on emulsion walls (it works best on vinyl and gloss). --

i've never had to do any of those yet as DS is only 18 months. i hope things have gotten better for you...... all the best!

Hello

Thank you for the crayon ideas, I will give them a go (we found crayons stashed all over the bedroom! they have now been taken care of )

Things are alot better. We worked out that ds was having nightmares during the night and was waking up scared. He said there were monsters so we explained that mummy and daddy dont allow monsters in the house and definatly not into his room etc but he said the monsters were coming out of his eyes! (?? any ideas on what thats all about ??)

I have given him a dream catcher. I told him it was magic and would stop any monsters from getting into his eyes - he said "no mummy they come out of my eyes" but after talking all about this magic dream catcher and making a big thing about putting it above his bed his nightmares seem to have stopped and so has the trashing. I dont think its a co-incidence but I am pleased he is no longer suffering the scary dreams.

I am very worried about what the nightmares mean and me being me have started thinking along the lines of he thinks there is a naughty child.monster inside him that makes him want to do naughty stuff and he is trying so hard to be good and this is affecting him by giving him nightmares - totally crap i know, but I am just trying to figure out whats causing the dreams. The scarest thing he watches on tele is cbeebies - and some of that would give me nightmares but he seem to enjoy it

Thanks for all your advice xxx

tamba- dont know if you might find this helpful, but if you do decide to repaint try dulux real life, its a matt look washable paint. i have removed tomatoe sauce, tea stains, dirty finger prints and all sorts (BTW these are kitchen walls hence the food stains, just in case you thought we are mad food flingers)

Tamba, glad DS's nightmares have stopped - sounds like you handled that one really well, love the dreamcatcher. I've read/heard that children just do start having nightmares around the age of 3 (earlier, sometimes, but definitely more around 3) and I do remember my neice going through a big nightmare phase at that age, shortly after a house move and starting nursery (no idea if related). I wonder if ds's brush with the little 'monster' at school has been internalized, then externalized, and worked out thorugh dreams/behaviour. That would be my bet - but who knows! I'm one for analyzing things too - but either way, sounds like DS has worked his 'monsters' out brilliantly, with your help. Long may it last!