I am not going to give my baby a surname

[stewpid]

DP and I have decided not to give our new baby a traditional surname. We have issues with both our families and no desire to perpetuate their names with our offspring.

We have two inspirational friends who have passed away. They're names were Elizabeth and Anne. In honour of them our DD will have their names as her surname. So her full name will be Iris Poppy Elizabeth-Anne.

I know some people will think this is stupid but we think it is beautiful and meaningful.

Has anyone here done anything like this? What do people think?

But surnames are not a commemoration of men per se; they are a commemoration of families. Families include women. Hitherto, it was traditional for a woman to take the FAMILY name of the man she married and the children to follow suit, but that tradition has been questioned and changed in many many cases over the last 50 years.

If you don't like your fathers, then you could take your mothers' maiden names and amalgamate them, or your friends' mothers' maiden names.

I think your child will grow up hating her surname if you go ahead, and will quite possibly end up resenting you and questioning your ability to make serious decisions.

Pick the sur name of somebody you admire, because the children's allowance, doctor's receptionist, school admissions board, bank, airlines, passport office and in years to come dvla will NOT be on board with your plan.

Why don't you choose a name you like and all have the same one. It will stop a lot of confusion later on. 'Troll' perhaps?

What about 'Joy' using it in the third place and providing it when asked for a sur name.

I have come across that as a sur name.... so it would 'work' whilst still fitting in with your no sur name vibe.

Stewpid: If you hate your families and their names so much why don't you and your DH/DP also change your name to Elizabeth-Anne?

I can understand why you don't want to use your families name but why not choose a new proper surname for you all.

STEWPID

I get your reasoning - my dad was nothing but a jerk to me. HIS dad - who gave him the name abandoned my dad and grandma, so I never really felt proud of my surname. Dh's dad is a bit of a knob too.
When I married I didn't change to DH's, as his surname and my first name sounded awful together. I hyphenated, and I really love that I have my own name. However people still tend to drop the first part and call my by the second part. Its a bit of a pain.

However, my birth surname is also the surname of my wonderful older brother who has grown into a fantasic man. Its also the surname of my neices and nephew who are just about the coolest kids ever. So i like that I can now feel proud of the name.

Also, you have a DSS - what kind of message are you sending that YOUR daughter gets the name you are proud of, and he gets the "bastard" name. (Not that you would tell him that - but honestly how can you explain that one without him eventually being hurt?)Even if you all change your surname, he loses a connection to his dad

I get you to a point, but why not start NOW with changing the legacy of the name?

And I do think your choice would be a bit of a pain for your dd.

Barking!
Please tell me this is a wind-up?

Elizabeth Anne is rubbish as a surname.

I know lots of people - well, some people - who have created a new last name for their children. That's not the bonkers bit. The bonkers bit is giving the poor child a name that will make her life difficult for the next 90 years.

Did your frinds have characterisitics that would make a last name? Or skills? Redhead, or Weaver - something like that?

Stewpid, fwiw, my two lovely children have the sur name of a man who abused me and controlled me. So I 'get' it too.

But I would choose a sur name... there are loads I like the sound of, like Gillespie, Carmichael, Winstanley!!! Costello, Kinsella..

And then where would I even start with the sur names of people for women to admire!! Pankhurst, Aerhart, Curie, Astor,,,,,

You could really have fun with it, but your child will need a sur name.

I love Aitch's example of 'Franceschild' - a matronymic (would that be right?!).

I think it's a lovely and perfectly reasonable idea to choose a surname, BUT unfortunately Elizabeth-Anne doesn't work as a surname.

Elizanne sounds more surname like - Ms Iris Elizanne sounds fine to me.

We should start a thread of positive words that work as sur names. They aren't already 'owned' iykwim.

I like my Dad and would like if my chidlren had his name (our name, even my mum would call it our name after 42 years).

My x's name. It does seem quite random and hollow at times.

Why not Allmenarebastards for a surname? You might as well just say what you think.

Definitely one of the sillier MN name threads.

which wouldn't matter except that it is my children's sur name. But it's still better than NO sur name!!

Tell you what-Friend is a surname why not use that and give your dd all 4 names-Iris Poppy Elizabeth Anne Friend.

Also in Iceland girls are given mother's name with 'dotter'on the end so 'Stewpidsdotter'

I don't like the 'bastard men' business at all.

But loads of people have a first name as a surname: George Michael, Jamie Oliver, Oliva Newton John, Hugh Grant.

The list goes on.

(Disclaimer: I have no idea if these were surnames that have since become first names or not, but they are now seen as first names)

(Another disclaimer: You can't actually use those names though. Is your DH going to be happy being called Mr. Elizabeth-Anne? )

so she's going to be referred to as Miss Elizabeth-Anne and everybody's going to double-take throughout her life until she gets married or name changes it

I think you're being ridiculous, pathetic and stupid

but then i also think yu're trolling so good on ya

She said at the start that her DSS gave her the name 'Stewpid' I think that says it all.

Good enough for your DSS to be called a 'Bastard' name but not your daughter eh?

Weirdo. Deffo Troll.

Also, if Tallulahdoesthehulainhawaii got taken off her parents.... I'd make a strong case for Social Serivces getting involved here!

Now this is where I need that [I don't believe you] emoticon.

I know, when she is born, make her wear ruffs around her neck and you could use "Elizabethan" as her surname!

stewpid - have you thought about what you will do should dd ever have a brother? I think the ideas behind your suggestion are good ones but I do think there are other ways of naming your dd that give her a surname with a meaning that is neither intrinsically male nor has the particular connections with yours and DP's families. I also think the symbolism behind all three of you adopting a new family name is much stronger. you could take something (part of their name, a letter, the place where they lived, their jobs) from your friends Elizabeth and Anne, something from yourselves and make a name up. you could have a sense of place, of values, and of family all in the new name.

I think you should find a name for all of you, can't imagine having no connection to any of my family. Perhaps you could all be called 'Newstart' or 'Future' or 'Forward', giving a child four first names is really silly.