I am not going to give my baby a surname

[stewpid]

DP and I have decided not to give our new baby a traditional surname. We have issues with both our families and no desire to perpetuate their names with our offspring.

We have two inspirational friends who have passed away. They're names were Elizabeth and Anne. In honour of them our DD will have their names as her surname. So her full name will be Iris Poppy Elizabeth-Anne.

I know some people will think this is stupid but we think it is beautiful and meaningful.

Has anyone here done anything like this? What do people think?

Dear Stewpid, if you have been shocked or upset about some of the comments on here then this is a taste of what your child would face in the real world with such a surname - although people would tend to talk behind his/her back which could be worse. And deciding to do it even more because of silly comments really concerns me - who exactly are you thinking about? Remember your child!

Meant to add I have shit parents on both sides but I have decided to keep their surnames because we are going to break that cycle and our surname will be an honour for kids to pass on - just a thought! Oh dear, the pressure!

missmen - did you actually read what stewpid said? they are steeled in their resolution to do something but have taken on board the sensible comments about the actual original suggestion.

Sorry, only had time to read two pages of the thread (trying to settle non-sleeping baby inbetween).

I don't think it's a barking concept, and I do think the automatic granting of paternal family names is something that needs questioning - a worthy debate.

Until last year I lived an African country where female babies took their mother's last name, and male babies their father's last name.

Why don't you, DP and your DD all adopt a totally fresh, brand-new surname? Something meaningful, that isn't two Christian names confusingly added onto the end, and that all three of you share.

Sounds like you will come up with something that will work for your family stewpid, so good result there really. I can imagine that it may be challenging, just thinking about how much thought goes into first names for one child, a new surname for three I liked Lizanne best of the variants - sounds quite artistic somehow, and goes very well with Iris Poppy.

lizanne nice but will be liz-bi-anne by senior school among the crueller and more stupid boys. actually this is something else to think of... the nickname potential. normally something people only have to think about with first names as they are generally saddled with surname.

I like Bethan, Lizan and Elizan. Don't spell it Bethanne, Lizanne or Elizanne though cos they look made up where as the other spellings are actually known surnames.

I think Elizabethan is a great way to combine the names for a surname for all of you to take together, very regal and not odd sounding at all.

I think it depends whether you want her to be questioned about it or not? Iris Elizabethan is great but it is going to make people say 'ooh, that's unusual, how come you have that?'. At which point she'll have to explain the reasoning behind it (or lie).

Whereas if you give her something like Iris Field or Wood or River or Lake or whatever, no one will bat an eyelid.

Sorry if already mentioned on these pages but why not just go for a variant of the Icelandic tradition and put 'Stewpidsdoter' (or however they spell daughter - apologies to all Icelanders) as surname.

Yes, I wouldn't got for Elizabethan as it's not really a surname - it's just a random word.

Why can't you have an oldfashioned matronymic that still looks like a surname? Or invent a new surname? Or indeed take the surname of some noted feminist? Something that looks like a surname will make her life a lot easier. You can't guarantee that she will share your views on this, and it will be she that has to deal with it.

Change her surname by all means, but Elizabeth Anne is ludicrous, and bordering on child cruelty.

Are you and her dad going to change your surnames too so that she does have a 'family name'?

Or do you not fancy being stuck with it yourselves?

I would assume you are trolling, except that it's the sort of nonsense someone will come up with genuinely at some point!

"I am not taking anything out on my baby, I am starting her out in life with a name that conveys hope and love." Why just the baby, though? It singles her out as the repository of all that hope. That's a lot of pressure. I think it's unfair to make the baby any kind of poster-child for your familys' problems.

I understand your desire to make a break with the past, but I think your DSS's opinion is valid regarding not just the names you were thinking of (which I know you are now rethinking), but also valid about the idea of giving one family member a name that is different from the others' names. Also, from the DSS's POV, why is one of the old names good enough for the DSS but not good enough for the baby?

I think you should consider a new name for the whole family. Some ideas that have already been mentioned are very forward looking and optimistic: Love, Hope, Grace, then there are names like Child -- a quick perusal of the phone book might yield a lot more that commend themselves for both practicality and symbolism.

fgs for the child's sake choose something that sounds like a surname or they will have a lifetime of irritation and confusion every time they fill in a form, apply for a job/passport/school (I can just imagine the p* taking at school if you go on to have a ds and want him to have the same surname).

Good made up surnames:

• place names (e.g. a place special to you)
• completely made up names (e.g. names combined to make a word such as Lizanne)
• real surname randomly chosen from the phone book

I have an australian friend who married Mr Sarah.
She gets on fine being Mrs M Sarah