Parents criticised our chosen baby name without knowing it was ours

[Bringbackbuffy]

We haven’t shared any of our baby name choices yet with any friends or family, but we don’t have any lists. We just have a boys name and a girls name.

My parents went on a complete rant the other day about one of our chosen names- they don’t know we’ve chosen it- a friend of theirs has just named their child that.

It was really quite hurtful to listen to, and to know they hate the name so much- but we still don’t want to change it.

I don’t really know what to do, I just wish they hadn’t been so awful

Ooo first to ask.. what’s the name?

Hard to comment without knowing the name

Is it a name that is fashionable now but deeply unfashionable when they were young?
What's the name?

Come on, you know the rules

We don’t need judgment on the name, it’s nothing out there. Think Ralph or Edward.

Impossible to comment-do they just really hate a perfectly sensible name for some reason, or have you chosen to call your child Spudulike?

I wouldn’t lump Ralph and Edward together personally. Edward to me is fairly timeless but Ralph is an “old name” which maybe back in fashion now but not a permanent feature on the top 100 baby names.

Ralph and Edward are totally different names!! Anyway, the answer is just to carry on as you were planning and see what happens when you announce the name. Otherwise you can warn them but only if you have the type of relationship where you can say "shut up about it please' or they'll try to persuade you against.

What sort of comments were they making? Did they think it posh or old fashioned? Why didn't they like it?

Call your baby whatever you like and sod them. I say that as a granny and my policy is that I love all babies and all their names. Judgement gets you nowhere and the sooner grandparents learn that the better!

Oh ignore them. They'll get over themselves. My child is named a hated Mumsnet name. No one matters except you!! There's many many crazy names out there. People might give a chuckle over it but then they just forget about it and move on.

There's nothing wrong with them commenting on a name and whilst unfortunate that it's one that you like they certainly aren't awful.

If you like the name you still use it, it's that simple and it just before their grandchild's name.

People can just have a personal dislike to a name which seems to be perfectly acceptable to most.

Esme in my case

We don’t want to be forced into an early announcement.

That’s awful OP. Even if you hadn’t chosen that particular name it’s mean behaviour. I would come clean and tell them it’s one of your chosen names so that they have an opportunity to apologise and to start adjusting their attitude now

They didn’t know what the parents were thinking- it doesn’t suit a baby and doesn’t suit an adult.

It really depends on the name.

If you’re dead set on it, then you go for it, but now you know what people think of it maybe it’s a sign to change it?

Yeah don't then. If they're nice they'll be mortified and apologise. If they're horrid narcs they'll think you did it to insult them, but it will just be the first in a line of many things they think that about so what can you do. If they're somewhere in between they'll probably grumble a bit and then get used to it as the baby becomes a real person. Just carry on as you were. You can name your baby whatever you like. My mum had a hatred for Martha for some reason but I'm sure she would have liked it eventually if I'd called a kid that, as she loved the kid if not the name!

I don’t think it’s people though. It’s a popular name, it is just them.

If it's Wilfred, a friend of mine has a very sweet baby Wilf. Nice name.
Ignore your parents! I understand if it's soured what should be a fun process though, it's a real shame

We can’t know unless we know the name.

If you think about it, grandparents up and down the land secretly cringed when they first heard the choices for their grandkids names!
It's just out in the open in your family!

They’ve got their opinion, they didn’t say it to hurt you, so you shouldn’t find it hurtful.

Call your child what you want, they’ll get on with it.

It just strikes me as mean to talk about anyone’s baby name like that. They weren’t talking about this persons baby- just judging and being really mean about the name.

I hate knowing their thoughts, it just seems like such a strange conversation to have.

Oh dear!

Hence why no one should indulge in rude dismissive rants about subjective choices which do no harm.

Hard for you because now you know there will be opposition.

But you love the name, hopefully they will reflect and have the grace to withhold any further negative opinions.

(an opinion I was able to give without badgering for the name, given you have said it is a mainstream type of name, with a standard spelling)