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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

My Sister has called her baby the same name as my child

122 replies

lisacam · 08/03/2008 00:41

My Sister has called her baby the same name as my child and I can?t understand why? My husband is very annoyed and he can?t believe she or her husband did not mention it before. The week before the birth we were all talking about possible names but her husband stated they had some ideas but did not want other people?s opinions. I love my sister but I can?t help feeling confused and emotional.

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slinkiemalinki · 10/03/2008 16:14

YANBU. This is out of order. But not worth losing a sister over. I'd tell her once you were a bit surprised/disappointed, then leave it alone. You just have to rise above it. I can really see why you are annoyed though.

nappyaddict · 04/04/2008 22:26

i don't get why an adult would be pissed off at someone naming their child the same name as them. i would be honoured!

cheesesarnie · 04/04/2008 22:27

my step sister did this not long ago.piddled me off but am getting used to it.but hes still a baby,dunno what itll be like whn hes older

bubblepop · 04/04/2008 22:33

how strange!

nonanny · 04/04/2008 22:38

Perhaps she is thinking of using a short form or nickname, so that the cousins would be 'different'.

What does she say about it?

It is very odd...would you consider changing your child's name now - I think I might, or using the second name? I'm not sure I could cope with it if you are close to the sister and its likely the children will meet and play together.

MadameCh0let · 04/04/2008 22:38

Is your sister living in the 1800s? I know they did that then... the first daughter named after paternal grandmother, second daughter named after maternal grandmother, so in the 'olden days' it wasnt' unusual to have two first cousins with the same name.

But this is 2008 and she is acting like a crazy person........ I'm not surprised you are

MadameCh0let · 04/04/2008 22:40

Is it say Margaret with Greta or Maggie for short?

Or Elizabeth with Libby or Eliza?

Can she make it different with a v. different nn?

Is it your mother's name? I'm so confused with the unusual-ness of this!!

QOD · 04/04/2008 22:42

my hubby is big Paul, his nephew little Paul, he has a brother called Andrew, sister called Ann and sister called Paula who is little Pauls mum and has a Joanne too.

Hate it all! When my sil was preganant, she considered using MY NAME if it was a girl, being of a rotund shape I was extremely miffed that I would henceforth have been known as BIG QOD
LOL
YANBU

doublethetrouble · 04/04/2008 22:49

Maybe thats why she did it then...hoping that your two will be as close as your cousins were/are.

I guess your better trying to convince yourself that her intentions were meant well anyhow.

I'd also take pleasure in the fact that your child is the older "x" so that everyone will always know it was her and her hubbie that had a lack of imagination in the name dept!.

mamalovesmojitos · 04/04/2008 22:52

my name changed when i was ten as my mum got married.

i have always have missed my old name-such a huge part of my identity.

now my uncle (who has my original surname) has named his daughter with my name.

i know it's childish but i hate it! it feels like they robbed a part of me!

Califrau · 04/04/2008 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BEAUTlFUL · 04/04/2008 23:14

The cousins sharing a name isn't bad. The problem here is that your sister didn't tell you. She didn't say, "I'm really sorry but the only name we can agree on is Xyz... How much would you hate us if we used it?"

She just kept her head down then presented it as a fait accompli. That's the problem.

hotchocscot · 04/04/2008 23:37

I would be mightily huffed at her for BOTH offences ie using the same name but also NOT talking to you about it. I think you need to speak calmly to her about how badly this is making you feel before she registers the name, if you still can. Can't believe there wasn't ONE other name at least they could agree on as parents, think there's more to it than that. Is your relship good with your sister?

Makingdo · 19/04/2008 01:40

Message withdrawn

jumperoo · 19/04/2008 21:38

It is just plain odd IMO - getting used to it, thinking it is well intentioned and honourable and coping with abbreviations are all very workable soloutions I agree. However, they are all just ways of coping with the oddness of the entire situation.

If it was a name she had dreamed of as a child, i think you would have known about it!

Would have been much simpler had she chatted to you about it first - maybe she knew what you would say!

beaniesteve · 19/04/2008 21:44

I can see why it would be annoying and think it is weird. However. If it's a family name or a name with some emotional significance and her sister has a reason to choose it then I can understand it.

My SIL is having a baby, I am TTC. If she and my brother choose to incorporate our dead father's name into their childs name (for a girl) I will still name my child that name as I have always said I would and they know that.

morningpaper · 19/04/2008 21:50

This comes up quite a lot and I always say the same thing: I have the same name as my cousin and it is really nice. We are SPECIAL cousins! Why shouldn't she call her child the same name? I hope they will be close in years to come.

colacubes · 19/04/2008 21:59

Strange, but try to find the good in it, or it will just piss you off no end, and there's nothing you can do about it, so just consider it a unique special bond the children will have.

wolveschick · 19/04/2008 22:05

It's just a bit strange really and confusing for relatives etc, espc if grandparents help out with childcare. They would shout out and 2 come running. Could it be her partner has put pressure on her. If she explained it prob would have been a lot better.

scottishmummy · 19/04/2008 22:06

don't jeperdise a relationship over this, not worth it. cousins with same name, no biggie

fwiw we picked our baby name and told no one (didnt want discussion/opinions we were happy with name)

poppypinkcheeks · 19/04/2008 22:08

When we were naming DS, DH wouldn't even entertain names already used anywhere in our families! even 2nd cousins etc which narrowed it down a bit as he has a large family of boys!!! SIL just found out she was pg when DS was born and actually had a go at me for using the name she had picked for boy

I know it isnt a huge deal in the 'grand scheme of things' but I would be f'ing fuming

spicemonster · 19/04/2008 22:08

I think that's a really weird thing to do.

EyeballsintheSky · 20/04/2008 22:34

Definitely weird and highly annoying. My brother would have kicked my arse if I had called dd the same name as one of his. I was considering using my cousin's name for dd and was well and truly forbidden, and they don't even live in the same country. With hindsight I'm glad we didn't use it.

ButterflyMcQueen · 20/04/2008 22:38

really odd imo!

I would be gutted!

shreksmissus · 20/04/2008 22:39

Message withdrawn

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