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Original poster

My Sister has called her baby the same name as my child

122 replies

lisacam · 08/03/2008 00:41

My Sister has called her baby the same name as my child and I can?t understand why? My husband is very annoyed and he can?t believe she or her husband did not mention it before. The week before the birth we were all talking about possible names but her husband stated they had some ideas but did not want other people?s opinions. I love my sister but I can?t help feeling confused and emotional.

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BoysOnToast · 09/03/2008 00:37

why on earth woudl it bother anyone if this happened? maybe they just really like the name? i assume its not a made -up one fo a kind name, therefore there will be plenty of other people called it?

weird thing to get upset about.

mollymawk · 09/03/2008 00:44

Well, I can see why some people might be upset (lots on this thread for instance). It wouldn't bother me though. We would just have a "Big X" and a "Little X". Until Little X inevitably outgrew Big X to great comic effect.

Nighbynight · 09/03/2008 13:13

nice try Nightbynight - but posting on mumsnet is not a parallel to real life.
In mumsnet we only have the typed names to go on - in real life a whole visual image, different life and character goes with it.

2 of my sons have names that sound very similar, although have completely different meanings. dd2 has the feminine form of ds1's name, so it also sounds similar. Doesnt cause us any problems, beyond the odd "what?" from the wrong child.

My childrens names are a bit political, and my ex chose them (they are from his country) because he actually WANTED other people to use these names, for political and cultural reasons.

monkeytrousers · 09/03/2008 13:26

We have a Billy and a Will in our family - no problems

WiiMii · 09/03/2008 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blocky · 10/03/2008 11:01

This has happened lots in our family. My brother and Cousin on mothers side) both have the name John, born 6 months apart. Growing up they were very close. I share the same name as a cousin on my fathers side, I am two years older. A lot of my cousins are named after other family members (uncles/ aunts etc). That said, it's never been an issue with us, but we do have a huge family.

morocco · 10/03/2008 11:13

I'd probably find it a bit weird tbh but prob cos my sister would be v unlikely to do that kind of thing without even mentioning it beforehand. is she v jealous of you or v unimaginative? otherwise she would surely realise it would be worth at least mentioning beforehand.
I would think up a v irritating nickname, even if it's just 'little . . . 'and call the baby that for the next few months to get on her nerves. then, let it go.

piratecat · 10/03/2008 11:17

You have every right to be pissed off, and to wonder 'WHY'

it baffles me.

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/03/2008 11:18

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nancy75 · 10/03/2008 11:21

i would be very annoyed. my aunt and uncle did this and gave my cousin the same name as me (she also has the same surname so we have exactly the same name) they said they couldnt think of a name and saw nancy in a book and thought it was nice!{hmm} my mum went mad and it caused huge fall outs in our family.

eleusis · 10/03/2008 11:22

If it's a fairly common name I don't see what the issue is really. I have a brother, cousin, father and uncle who all have the same first name. It is one of my son's middle names (he has two).

Is it a name where there are a couple varriations? For example, if the name was Matthew, one could be Matt and the other Matthew.

Do you know why they chose this name? Maybe it is a family name for them? Or has some other important significance?

piratecat · 10/03/2008 11:24

yes, whats the name??? Why did they want it so badly. Makes me .

Did they want it first? Or have it in mind for along time?

odd

slim22 · 10/03/2008 11:27

I never comment on name threads, but this is the only situation that would really piss me off.

SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 10/03/2008 11:27

that would piss me off to no end. (though in my case it's probably because i dislike my sister!)

TheHonEnid · 10/03/2008 11:29

yes it would annoy me too

nailpolish · 10/03/2008 11:31

my dh ahs the same name as his uncle. it drives him completely bonkers - even to this day. he still doenst kow what came over his parents to give him the same name as his uncle. lack of imagination is what i say.

bu the thing is - for lisacam there is nothing she can do about it. she will jsut ahve to get used to it. one of those things

morocco · 10/03/2008 12:00

mind you, we called our ds2 the same name
as my sis' then fiance, he was pissed off, but they never did get married so it never became an issue. he prob knew it was a 'sign'.

SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 10/03/2008 12:03

i think it's different calling a baby the same name as an adult than the same name as another child in the family.

ja9 · 10/03/2008 12:06

i think it's really out of order.

if there is some important reason why they chose this name then they should have discussed it with you first imo.

VictorianSqualor · 10/03/2008 12:08

A friend of mine had a baby and called her Tamsin, was planning on using Tammy for short.
Her sister had a baby a few months later, named her Tammy.
I know it really hurt my friend, not because of the name, but because she felt she did it to spite her...

PotPourri · 10/03/2008 12:09

It's a bit odd - yes. but some people don't see anything wrong with it - round my way it's quite common for cousins to be called the same names - whole families with several strands containing an andrew, john, david and brian etc.

Maybe ask her gently how come she came up with that name? But it's not really your place to ask her to change it, and you will get used to it eventually anyway.

My sister in law and neice are called a lovely name that I would have loved for a girl, but fwiw, I wouldn't have dreamt of using that name.

VictorianSqualor · 10/03/2008 12:11

Agree it's different calling a child the same as an adult btw, DP's brother is Oliver and we love the name, and did consider it for DC3 but have decided we'd find it weird having the same name as it's a close family so it would confuse people, we've decided to use it as a middle name instead if Ds is a boy.
My Dad was Robert Scott(though everyone called him Bobby), my brother is Robert Scott (we call him Scott though) and my DS is Bobby so they all have the same names, kind of.

2HotCrossBunnies · 10/03/2008 13:36

This would also annoy me! Like Nancy75's situation I have a cousin who herself has a cousin on the other side with the first first AND surnames. There is only about 4 months between them. My cousin is older and my aunt was very annoyed for some time.

abidabidoo · 10/03/2008 14:05

I don't have a sister, but I would be so upset if a friend even chose the same name. Maybe less so if there was a significant age gap?

To me, and I know not everyone thinks like this!, a name is so much more than a handy word to designate someone !!!!OMG Roy and Hayley in the Archers have called their baby Abi!!! Anyway, where was I?

But how weird for the grandparents. I would put out some feelers - not contact directly because I would get so upset - someone more neutral put some feelers out and see if it is something like, she really liked the name and maybe was upset when you used it?

scottishmummy · 10/03/2008 14:26

this should be a happy time, a beautiful new wee baby.they are adjusting to phenomenal life changes and to put things in perspective it is just a name. support your sister don't jeperdise a relationship because of this. you could be so invaluable to her, at this time.dont fret about this - not worth it

yes okay so you chose it first, but guess what you might just meet someone else with same name too. you cant copyright or own a name

just go into clintons look at all the rows and rows of names displayed, sometimes they get duplicated.any teacher will tell you you get same names in class too