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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

My Sister has called her baby the same name as my child

122 replies

lisacam · 08/03/2008 00:41

My Sister has called her baby the same name as my child and I can?t understand why? My husband is very annoyed and he can?t believe she or her husband did not mention it before. The week before the birth we were all talking about possible names but her husband stated they had some ideas but did not want other people?s opinions. I love my sister but I can?t help feeling confused and emotional.

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fruitloop79 · 08/03/2008 09:09

What is it about names?
Why cant people choose the same names as their friends and family?
I'd be very flattered. It's not like your child is the only person in the world with that name!

bluenosesaint · 08/03/2008 15:43

Well actually id be really miffed. Just doesn't seem right to me

There are soooooo many lovely names, why choose the same as your sister?

Don't get it ...

MegaMindy · 08/03/2008 15:46

I'd just think she doesn't have much imagination. So many names to choose from. Confusing for grandparents and other people in the family.

I wouldn't be annoyed as such, I'd just think it was a strange thing to do.

RustyBear · 08/03/2008 15:48

DH wanted to call DD Alexandra, but I thought it was too close to my sister's Alexander, so we made it her middle name - then five months later, my SIL had a boy & called him Alexander - then she named her youngest Christopher, which is my sister's other boy. So my DC have 2 cousins called Chris & 2 called Alex - as well as 2 uncles called Andrew - my brother and DH's BIL.

SparklyGothKat · 08/03/2008 16:03

me and misdee both have DD1s with the same middle name, didn't even realise for ages. but would never use a name that my sisters have used.

SparklyGothKat · 08/03/2008 16:04

as a first name

nkf · 08/03/2008 16:08

If you look round an old graveyard you'll see that there were only a few names being used. Somewhere along the line everyone has decided their child's name has to be unique. It's not that odd really and I wouldn't fall out over it.

Hulababy · 08/03/2008 16:09

Would have no problem with middle names being used, but yes, I would be annoyed if a close family member named their child the same first name as my DD. It'd drive me mad! I chose DD because I like the way it sounds and it suits her, and I wouldn't want her to have to be called by some alternaive or some nickname (big x or whatever) - not by her grandparents and aunties anyway!

I can't imagine ever chosing to do it myself. I would find it just to wierd o use the sme name as a cose relative or good friend. And shows no originality at all!

skidoodle · 08/03/2008 16:28

I would be so cross if my sister did this. Luckily I know she wouldn't as she's already avoided considering names she knows are on my list and vice versa.

Having the same name as someone else in your life is a pain in the arse. She's may be happy for that to be the situation for her DC but she's forced that situation on you and your family. I can't believe she didn't even mention their plans beforehand.

Of course, you don't "own" the name, so there's nothing you can do about it and I wouldn't say anything. But I would be seriously pissed off.

TinkerbellesMum · 08/03/2008 19:41

We have confusions within our family that is purely circumstantial...

My brother is called Mark, I married (and divorced) a Mark, then I met TD who is called Mark. TD's ex-BIL is called Mark, Tink's godfather is called Mark and another in our friendship group is called Mark.

Tink's daddy is Mark, she has 2 uncle Marks - who are different from the two uncle Mark's that her cousins, brothers and friends have, even more confusing is when they are talking about uncle Mark and meaning her daddy and vice versa!

CristinaTheAstonishing · 08/03/2008 19:45

I agree with Fruitloop. I wouldn't be at all annoyed, I'd be flattered.

LookattheLottie · 08/03/2008 22:30

I think I'd just find it a bit

Yes in a way it's flattering, but in another way the name you choose for your child is a very personal thing. Yes, there will usually always be another child who has that name, but because they're not your child it doesn't really matter does it? Where, when it is your child it's part of their identity. So I think I'd find it a bit upsetting if a close family member used my dd's name.

When I was pregnant with dd, two of my cousins were also expecting (both girls!) and I was on the edge of my seat to find out the names they'd chosen. I was worried they'd picked the same name as me, which would mean I'd no longer be able to use it iykwim? As it was, we'd all chosen different names, but if they'd decided to use a name I'd picked, I'd never have used it. It wouldn't have felt right, and why would I want to use it when it 'belonged' to another family member.

Bit strange.

NorthernLurker · 08/03/2008 22:34

If my cousins or friends did this I wouldn't mind. If it was my sister or in laws - I would be LIVID!

Blueskythinker · 08/03/2008 23:01

I would be furious! There are so many thousands of names to choose from!

This happened almost 40 years ago with my DH's family. My MIL has never forgiven her SIL because 3 months after MIL had DD, her SIL called her DD the same name. My MIL had to change her DD's name! They still barely talk to one another.

What is she thinking?

Mamazon · 08/03/2008 23:07

I would be fuming!

I would actually say something to her.

ladette · 08/03/2008 23:57

I definitely wouldn't give my child the same name as a sibing's child, so understand why you are really miffed. BUT think about it this way: Perhaps your sister has always, always loved that name and was miffed that you got there first with it. Two sides to every story.... (FWIW, if I'd been your sister, I still wouldn't have used the same name, but just trying to get you to see it from her point of view). Whatever, don't let it spoil your relationship, too precious.

Nighbynight · 09/03/2008 00:03

I really don't understand what the problem is. You dont own the name - its the same as expecting people not to park on teh road outside your house, you may feel affronted but really have no right to.

ladette · 09/03/2008 00:09

nighbynight, appreciate that no-one can own a name, but not sure why you can't see why lisacam's a bit annoyed?

Peridot30 · 09/03/2008 00:14

I would be mad!!!!

IMO thats a big no no.

I would never dream about calling my children the same name as a friends dc never mind a relations. Get your own name!!!!!

colander · 09/03/2008 00:17

Maybe she has always wanted that name for her child...surely they'll have different surnames, think it's not too big a problem really.

Nighbynight · 09/03/2008 00:21

ladette, the reason why I cant see it is that there is logically, nowt to be annoyed at.

ladette · 09/03/2008 00:23

guess we all see these things differently!

grannyslippers · 09/03/2008 00:26

I can see why it's annoying to you but I'm sure it's not a decision they took lightly.

I remember feeling a bit like I'd missed the boat when SIL named her daughter Ellen, because it was my nan's name and I was desperate to use it if I had a little girl - fortunately fate has intervened there. Would have been quite a dilemma.

Nightbynight · 09/03/2008 00:32

Am still confused by Tinkerbelles post lol!

YANBU - very odd to copy a name.

How do your extended family feel about it?

Mumcentreplus · 09/03/2008 00:33

I would be upset!...she could make it a middle name at least!...do you and your sis get on?...I know I would be pissin my sis right off with such a move!

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