Godmother stole my son's name

[MagsMaggie]

My baby son's Godmother recently had a baby boy and called her son the EXACT same name as my son, her Godson. She did not even ask us before stealing his name. I know that my son does not "own a name" however we did not use another name as she asked us not to. The name we gave our son is unusual. She had not heard of the name until we named our son. What type of Godmother names her newborn son after her baby godson? Our sons are so close in age. She even used the exact same spelling. My partner and I are angry. Are we being unreasonable? I feel like she has ended her relationship with us by doing this

No one can steal a name but I understand why you'd be upset as it's a unique name and the GM is I assume very close to you. That's what makes it bizarre to me, that she's close enough to be a GM but didn't mention it to you?

What's the name?

You have terrible taste in god mothers! Your son needs a new God mother and that woman needs therapy.

Exact as in first and middle name? Or is it very unusual and with a bespoke spelling?

Zachary George and Zachary Peter, probably okay
Zackari Balonz and Zackari Balonz, a bit weird.

Take it as a compliment maybe?

Seriously, you are overreacting. As you've rightly said you don't own the name and it's going to make not a jot of difference to your child that they have the same name as someone else they know. It's not important.

You're being ridiculous. Millions of people will have the same name and they get over it.

I appreciate perhaps it would've been nice if she mentioned it to you but honestly it's just a name. You have no rights to sole use of a bloody name.

Are you going to lose someone close enough that you chose as a godmother over a name.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, maybe she just really, really liked the name and didn't realise you'd have a problem with her using it too?

It used to be incredibly common for close relatives such as cousins to have the same name, I suppose the possessiveness about names has arisen with the trend for wanting 'unique' or unusual ones.

I think YABU to be angry, but also she was unreasonable to not discuss it with you, especially after you not using another name she'd asked you not to use ... that's quite odd.

Maybe I’m in the minority but I would take it as a compliment. My cousin (we have the same name) named her dd the same as my dd - she didn’t ask for my ‘permission’ and I definitely don’t mind.

It does sound too close to home and I know I wouldn't go for the same name as someone I was friends with.

My MIL is the worst however when we say a name and she goes "oh like Sandra's Tyler"... 🙄

I would end the relationship considering she did not run it by you or at least change the spelling. She must be a close relative or friend to say she is GM yet she did not mention anything? Too close to home for me

YABU...nobody owns a name so she cannot steal it.

Is it a family name?

My DD2’s name is unusual, but there are several in our family as it was my great-grandmothers name.

I would be annoyed too. Other than cutting her off theres nothing you can do

I named my daughter the same name my bf used as I wanted that name before she used it.

she didn’t ‘steal’ a name, she used a name she liked. She didn’t have to ask permission to use it.

What does a godparent actually do? Take them if the parents die? In which case, yes, it might be awkward if she ended up with two sons with the same name. Otherwise, if she is just a mate who is supposed to talk to your son about spiritual matters, it doesn't really matter, does it? I'd think it was quite cute I'd they grew up to be friends.

She asked you not to use a name, you did not use that name and chose a different name? Then she copied that name without asking first? So she can control what names you use but she can do as she pleases? She is being unreasonable

You’re being ridiculous. You don’t own a name. She can call her child whatever she wants, and it doesn’t take anything away from your child or diminish him in any way. There are lots of people who have the same name.

A) you can’t steal something that isn’t owned.

B) a godparent is meant to be involved with the child’s relationship with the church, isn’t it? Why on earth would that confer some restriction on using the same name?

if the godparent is also your sibling it’s a bit weird. Otherwise, I can’t see the issue. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think you're overreacting but I can see why i you're bothered since she asked you not to use another name.

Not sure it's worth cutting her off over though. Is she generally good apart from with this?

YABU
You are both angry? Totally ridiculous. And this trend about unique names? Unique? hehehe
Two cousins and I share a name, my brother shares his with three cousins. Thankfully all this faff about names wasn´t a thing back then.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery in the end.

She asked you to not use a name? For what reason?

how did you react when she told you the name?

More weird than anger inducing IMO.

We deliberately didn't use names that our friends had used, even fairly distant ones. It just put me off, same goes for 'naming after' - I want my children to have their own name.

To deliberately use the same name if someone you're likely to see regularly is just odd.

When was her baby born? Hasn't she addressed it at all? Like 'Oh I just loved the name Freddii-Jak so much I had to use it myself!' - it's a bit of an elephant in the room.

Off-topic but I've often wondered about this idea that godparents are meant to look after children if their parents die. Surely kids usually go to family in that situation? Isn't a godparents' role to guide a child in their relationship with God (the traditional concept anyway)?

I couldn't get worked up about the name. Most children only see their godparents irregularly, so the kids will probably meet a few times a year, at most. Presumably she liked the name.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

If you want to be petty about it call your son 'Freddy One' and her son 'Freddy two'.