Page 5 | Godmother stole my son's name

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

SheilaFentiman · 06/09/2023 16:32

JaukiVexnoydi · 06/09/2023 15:08

I think this is the nub of it. Its true that no one owns a name, they can't be stolen and your baby still has a name.

However, this woman clearly buys into the idea of not duplicating names among close circles or she would never have asked you to refrain from the other name you liked (no idea what OG stands for). It's not her actual action that's appalling, but the disrespect and belittlment of you that she asks you to make a sacrifice for her, which (a) turns out to be unnecessary and (b) isn't something she is prepared to do for you.

I agree the friendship is over but it's not because of her child's name, it's because she has shown how little she thinks of you.

Show quote history

Agree with this post.

(OG means “original”)

SkaneTos · 06/09/2023 16:35

I understand that you are surprised and upset over this.

If she is your son's godmother she is probably someone that you are very close to, someone that you love. Otherwise you wouldn't have chosen her as godmother to your child. So perhaps you can get over this?

Original poster

MagsMaggie · 06/09/2023 16:46

This has literally only just happened so I have not said anything to my son's god mother yet. My baby is not sleeping much so I want to sleep on it and get some perspective.
GM and I have a lot of people in common. They are texting us. Most who know us both and the background say that GM is in the wrong. But these are all people who know us both, I wanted unbiased opinions. There is a little more to the story that I cannot post.

Again I was the first to say I don't own a name but I also feel there are millions of names why pick your god sons? Her son her choice but it is not just one name it is two names.

Friends in common have pointed out other things she has done in the past. The theme of jealousy has come up quite a few times.

OP posts:

LylaLee · 06/09/2023 17:33

I wouldn't be surprised if she starts the narrative that SHE told YOU the name. Then you stole the name but she decided to go ahead with it since 'she's always wanted a baby called Aladdin from when she watched the movie as a child.'

Then OP is painted as the CF.

EmotionalSupportWyrm · 06/09/2023 17:37

MagsMaggie · 06/09/2023 11:16

My baby son's Godmother recently had a baby boy and called her son the EXACT same name as my son, her Godson. She did not even ask us before stealing his name. I know that my son does not "own a name" however we did not use another name as she asked us not to. The name we gave our son is unusual. She had not heard of the name until we named our son. What type of Godmother names her newborn son after her baby godson? Our sons are so close in age. She even used the exact same spelling. My partner and I are angry. Are we being unreasonable? I feel like she has ended her relationship with us by doing this

Right @MagsMaggie - within the first year of registration you can CHANGE the first name of a child.

Go back to the registry office and change your sons name back to the one you wanted?

Angrycat2768 · 06/09/2023 18:09

EmotionalSupportWyrm · 06/09/2023 17:37

Right @MagsMaggie - within the first year of registration you can CHANGE the first name of a child.

Go back to the registry office and change your sons name back to the one you wanted?

Show quote history

Yes. I would do this. If its not the name you wanted in the first place, change it, then distance yourself from.her. If she asks why you've changed the name say you didn't like it as much as the one you originally liked, and as she hasn't used it you are using it as originally planned. If she has fine stuff before that indicates she's jealous of you, why did you ask her to be a Godmother?

Scottyme · 06/09/2023 19:04

Firstly as this is MN expect to be classed as being unreasonable when your completely not.

I'm with you whilst you don't own a name, the fact that she asked you not to use your first choice and then had the cheek to use your unusual name choice is her just being a total bitch. Zero element of flattery that I can see. If you cut her off will friends take sides

MumofSpud · 06/09/2023 19:08

What's the name?

2chocolateoranges · 06/09/2023 19:14

I know that no one owns a name but who even does this.I’d never call my baby a name the same or similar to someone else’s child who I’m close with, it’s just bizarre.

I told my sis in law she couldn’t call her baby a name she mentioned as it was too close to my daughters name, so she didn’t.

Firefighter268 · 06/09/2023 20:28

I can see why you are miffed but it is a name.

I know first cousins called Francesca and Frances both likely to end up with the name Frankie and nothing has ever been mentioned. The cousins are close in age and live close to each other but both named after a male relative called Frank.

PostOpOp · 06/09/2023 20:59

Her son her choice but it is not just one name it is two names.

Ok I was thinking she's unreasonable but you've just confirmed it's BOTH names.

She's nuts. I'm surprised her DP went along with it.

Go back and change your DS name to the one you wanted and have nothing to do with her. Don't talk about it to mutual friends. Just change name, block her from all socials and post a photo of DS with new name. No discussion at all with anyone. And get on with your life without this person in it. Your DS will not lose out from not having her in his life!

KayEmAy · 06/09/2023 21:44

What bothers me is -

The fact she didn't mention it before feels sneaky
She asked you to not use a specific name

AnIndianWoman · 06/09/2023 22:04

Goldbar · 06/09/2023 12:00

Off-topic but I've often wondered about this idea that godparents are meant to look after children if their parents die. Surely kids usually go to family in that situation? Isn't a godparents' role to guide a child in their relationship with God (the traditional concept anyway)?

I couldn't get worked up about the name. Most children only see their godparents irregularly, so the kids will probably meet a few times a year, at most. Presumably she liked the name.

Godparents were family in the old days when men and women often died before 30. It was often used to strengthen family ties and have a formal record of familial relationships so children couldn’t be abandoned when their parents died. In some parts of the world the landowner would act as godfather to all the children born in his land and would be responsible for their care until they could go into a trade / marry.

Ghosttofu99 · 07/09/2023 01:16

This is exactly how baby names work: one person names a baby x, the next person meets/hears about baby x and thinks ‘wow what a great name’ and names their baby x. She would only have stolen the name if her baby was born first.

I follow the baby names in our city as the midwives do an infographic on Facebook and you’d be surprised by how many ‘unique’ names with unusual spelling crop up again and again. Your son is going to come across others with that name throughout his life so I’d say ending the friendship over this is a bit dramatic unless there is some major backstory. Presumably this friendship meant enough to you to make her GM in the first place.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/09/2023 01:29

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 06/09/2023 13:28

It's a Mumsnet thing.
In real life, people tend to have bigger fish to fry.
(My DD has two male cousins with the same first name, and two female ones, as far as I know, nobody has accused anyone of "theft")

Show quote history

6 members of dh's family with the same name, very common in lots of cultures.

What's the name, I need to form a proper opinion OP? 😊

givemeasunnyday · 07/09/2023 01:47

It never ceases to amaze me, the ridiculous things which make people "angry".

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest - complete non issue.

HappiDaze · 07/09/2023 01:57

What bothers me most are the posters pretending it wouldn't bother them

As if

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/09/2023 02:58

So its clear from your friend group that all she has done is make herself look stupid. So dont worry about what people will think.

And she clearly isnt the friend you thought. Your other friends have brought up stuff you didnt notice about how she acts that prove she is either in competition with you or plain old envious. Either way....not a good look for her.

Cut her off. Job done.

PS......she probably didnt have any particular feelings about your original choice for your son but wanted to have a "win" over you by you not using the name. If you had said "We really like Dogshitwithsprinkles as the name for our new baby" she would have claimed it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/09/2023 03:02

I’d say ending the friendship over this is a bit dramatic unless there is some major backstory

does no one bother to read a whole thread anymore? Or at least the OP's posts that can easily be followed by clicking the "see next" option?!

Daft question, as clearly they don't.

azlazee1 · 07/09/2023 03:31

I wouldn't be happy either especially where she asked you not to use a name she was considering. I would have to ask her about it, but that's just me.

Loopylooni · 07/09/2023 03:45

Mine slightly different but I used to laugh at these threads till it happened to me! A family member is naming their daughter a similar name to my daughter. It's pretty distinctive so sounds obviously the same as mine. Honestly of all the names, they chose this one. So infuriating! I would fade them out if I could!

Topseyt123 · 07/09/2023 03:48

MagsMaggie · 06/09/2023 16:46

This has literally only just happened so I have not said anything to my son's god mother yet. My baby is not sleeping much so I want to sleep on it and get some perspective.
GM and I have a lot of people in common. They are texting us. Most who know us both and the background say that GM is in the wrong. But these are all people who know us both, I wanted unbiased opinions. There is a little more to the story that I cannot post.

Again I was the first to say I don't own a name but I also feel there are millions of names why pick your god sons? Her son her choice but it is not just one name it is two names.

Friends in common have pointed out other things she has done in the past. The theme of jealousy has come up quite a few times.

OK, I did kind of get some of that impression from your OP.

She is irritating, and not really a friend. If you really prefer your original choice of name then go back to the registrar and change to it, assuming that your child is still under 12 months old.

Ignore any protests from her, and use different godparents for future children.

AbbeyGailsParty · 07/09/2023 03:50

It is an odd thing to do in light of her asking you not to use your original choice as she wanted it.
Fwiw exh and I were part of a large group where one man (40s, married) copied everything another ( bit older, married) did. New car, he bought same model and colour. Holiday destination, he booked the same. House move, ditto. It must have been as annoying as hell and definitely weird.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/09/2023 03:53

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/09/2023 02:58

So its clear from your friend group that all she has done is make herself look stupid. So dont worry about what people will think.

And she clearly isnt the friend you thought. Your other friends have brought up stuff you didnt notice about how she acts that prove she is either in competition with you or plain old envious. Either way....not a good look for her.

Cut her off. Job done.

PS......she probably didnt have any particular feelings about your original choice for your son but wanted to have a "win" over you by you not using the name. If you had said "We really like Dogshitwithsprinkles as the name for our new baby" she would have claimed it.

Interesting comment about the original name op. Before you gave birth, did she mention your preferred original name or did you? And do you still prefer the original name? If so, I would consider changing back… but depending on how old your ds is, he may already respond to his name already (which according to a google happens between 4 and 9 months).

truthhurts23 · 07/09/2023 03:56

yanbu, she told you not to use a name and then turns around and copies your sons name, what a weirdo