Godmother stole my son's name

[MagsMaggie]

My baby son's Godmother recently had a baby boy and called her son the EXACT same name as my son, her Godson. She did not even ask us before stealing his name. I know that my son does not "own a name" however we did not use another name as she asked us not to. The name we gave our son is unusual. She had not heard of the name until we named our son. What type of Godmother names her newborn son after her baby godson? Our sons are so close in age. She even used the exact same spelling. My partner and I are angry. Are we being unreasonable? I feel like she has ended her relationship with us by doing this

Have you actually said to her, "Mandy, how come you've named your baby Jofflie the same as our baby when you'd previously asked us not to use Patpomlin?"

You ever going to post anything sensible that you actually think?

Or just continue enjoying seeing the rest of us go 🙄🙄🙄 at everything you post?

Why does it matter?

Seriously, what issue is going to be caused by these two children having the same name?

I get that you feel slighted, but other than that, what real material difference is this going to make to anyone's lives?

Is it really worth losing a friendship over, one that I presume was good other than this, given that you made her your son's godmother.

I always think that these threads are a bit nuts as nobody owns the rights to any names. I think if you like a name then use it because discussing it with others nearly always has unintended consequences.

Yes, I do see why you are annoyed that you avoided your first choice of name because of her and now she has copied the name you used instead. That is still another reason not to discuss in advance.

Let the friendship cool now, and if you ever have another child christened choose a different Godparent.

Would love to know the name.

As she is your baby's godmother, I'm assuming you have a close bond with her. Is losing a close friend/family member really worth it over a name? And what happens when DS starts school and there's another Aloyisuis / Hercules / Algernon in the class? Are you going to accuse his mother of also stealing the name from you?

She sounds a bit balmy, but to be honest both you and her can name your children anything you want and should do so. If you had your heart set on another name originally, you should have stuck with that and the hell with what anyone says about potentially wanting it in the future, like you say, nobody owns a name. She has obviously applied that reasoning when naming her DS and there's not much you can do about it, other than fall out.

We didn't a) know the gender during my pregnancies and b) didn't tell anyone the names we had in mind until babies had arrived and been given a name. There's something to be said for keeping schtum!

Ohh. So you stole her baby name?

What a load of fuss about nothing. Get over yourself. Would love to know what this amazingly original name is

This is why she has behaved badly - she stopped you from using a name and then used your other name. Not on. I would usually say 'you don't own a name' etc but her behaviour is very much 'her opinion and feelings matter and yours do not". I would bin her.

I'd be pissed off if someone had told me to not to use a name and then go and use the same name I did eventually choose. Nothing you can do about it now but yanbu.

I thought you were overreacting till I read your update. That changes things. She’s weird and I would distance myself.

Unusual behaviour by the godmother but not something to be upset about.

What's even the point of a God parent?

It's weird that she asked you not to use a particular name and you humoured her, but then she used the same name as you. However, as plenty have already said, nobody owns a name.

There's really nothing you can do, if you can't accept it then you need to stop being her friend so that you aren't reminded. If you want to continue the friendship then you need to put it out of your mind as much as possible. If you want to continue the friendship with a little bit of pettiness, then always refer to your son as Ptolemy and her son as Little Ptolemy (making a wild stab at the name there).

Have you actually asked her why she's used that particular name rather than the one she told you not to use?

I think this is the nub of it. Its true that no one owns a name, they can't be stolen and your baby still has a name.

However, this woman clearly buys into the idea of not duplicating names among close circles or she would never have asked you to refrain from the other name you liked (no idea what OG stands for). It's not her actual action that's appalling, but the disrespect and belittlment of you that she asks you to make a sacrifice for her, which (a) turns out to be unnecessary and (b) isn't something she is prepared to do for you.

I agree the friendship is over but it's not because of her child's name, it's because she has shown how little she thinks of you.

Do you have more doormats at the doormat shop?

People are allowed to be angry when others wrong them.

Two friends both name their children Samantha. Maybe you would be slightly miffed, but get over it.

In this scenario OP was asked by her friend to scrap the name they loved.

The friend then did not show OP the same consideration they had demanded. And there was no conversation.

OP has been treated badly, and is allowed to feel upset about it all.

Such an over reaction. People virtually never have an individual name. Get over it

I'd be furious.

What the name and what one did she ask you not to use?

There is no need for OP to give out this identifying information.

We are all nosey and would like to know, but OP has given enough information to lay out the situation very clearly.

Yeah this is weird, especially as she hadn't heard of the name before you introduced her. Are you going to call her out?

It's weird and it would annoy me. Even if it was a popular name e.g. Oliver, I wouldn't have chosen the same name as my godson for my own son. I don't blame you for being annoyed.

Does she know you are annoyed? And no 'no one owns a name' but it is weird. The same as if someone saw what you were wearing and the next day turned up in that exact same outfit, like 100% not just the shoes or something.

It doesn't even matter if it was a bog-standard name. Sure, there are lots of John's in the world, but unless it was the name of friend's dearly departed dad, it's weird and creepy to give your child the same name as a very good friend of yours.

This. It seems malevolent to me. If she had just thought ' Oh I live that name coincidentally and said to you that she also wanted to use it, that's one thing. But to ask you to change your name choice and then choose not only another name but the exact same name as your child, after accepting godparenthood sounds slightly stalkery to me. But I have been reading a lot of kitchen sink murders over the summer 😀

Her behaviour is insane.