Would you go against your DP and register a name they don't like?

[RosannaJP]

Hello, our baby boy is 4 weeks old and we have still not managed to finalise his name! Me and DP have absolute polar opposite name styles and it has been a nightmare trying to find any compromise at all. When we think we are compromising, the other just doesn't like the name enough so we are left with a name neither of us really like.

I'm at the stage now where we do have to register his birth, I know we have a couple weeks left but I don't want to leave it until last minute to have his decided name and it's already feeling very last minute with him being 4 weeks.

Would it be wrong to say "look, we are never going to agree and I have to register something and one of us may as well love it" and then he will in the end love it because it is his son's name? Or is that just asking for a relationship breakdown. Not sure what to do!

Nope, I'd never do this behind partners back

You do need to pick, but you both need to sort it out between yourselves and compromise

Well would you be happy if he just went ahead and registered a name he loved because one of you might as well love it and you'd grow to like it...

Of course you wouldn't so no you keep going until you find one to compromise on.

No, obviously not!!

Each write down 10 names.
Give to the other so they can strike off anything they don’t like. See what’s left, if anything. Anything that is left, put into a hat and draw at random.
You have to be fair really.

Absolutely not.

We couldn't decide either so ended up picking five each we really liked, putting them in a hat and choosing from that.

Husband's choice got picked, I wasn't keen but we went with it. I love it now, it suits her perfectly.

No, you need to find a compromise. If you both love opposite kind of names, the compromise might have to be something that isn’t either of your favourites, but something you both don’t hate, and agree on

Oh and if nothing left then stick all 20 into the hat!

Tell us the names and let us choose.

Whose surname will your son have? One of you will already have picked a name there.

No, I wouldn't.

😂

If you're not married won't he have to be present at the registration? So I can't see how that would even work in practice. But even so, no you can't, you have to keep trying. Have you tried lists? So 10 names each on a piece of paper at a time, keep going until you find something acceptable?

Also give up on finding a name you love, at this point you just need to both not hate it.

Of course not.

Flip a coin, winner gets to pick. The other picks middle name.

Or you each write your favourite name down, put in two envelopes, shuffle and get someone/the cat/the dog to pick an envelope and go with that name.

Don't do the top 10 thing because then you risk your child having a name that one of you hates and is only the other ones tenth favourite name! He may as well have a name one of you loves.

No because I am not a child having a tantrum

Can you tell us the names you like and the names he likes and we can try and find some compromise names?

No of course not. You both have to decide.

I’d want context. Is he changing nappies and cooking meals, bringing you a cup of tea when you’re feeding baby/feeding baby if bottlefed and doing washing qnd getting up at night and are finances managed fairly so you’re not skint because you’re looking after the child you had together? I ask because some men I read about on mumsnet, i think the mum should register whatever name she wants, no dads name, move her and baby to a new location and burn the house and his things down behind her. If he’s a good partner and dad, then you need to agree. Which means neither of you get your favourite. Can a friend come and help mediate a whole new list of names?

I can't believe you have had to post this on Mumsnet to determine if this is an acceptable thing to do!

I pick Rafferty

There you go

James is very inoffensive if you just have to pick something.

What was the one where the poster thought Barry was short for something. Please use that.

This, or write down 5 names. Then you each have a veto to strike off 3 of the other persons you hate. The 4 remaining names go in a hat.

Ok can I just say, I'm not actually ready to leave the house and wanted to quickly ask Mumsnet quickly to see if it's alright before doing it. It's the last thing I want to do I'm just really sad about our son not having a name and struggling a bit with life in general (had a horrific birth and seeking professional help) so please be kind! I just don't know what to do.

We have tried absolutely everything and are just wanting to find a name we both "like" and we can't. We don't expect to love it at all anymore.

Baby is having a double surname and we are not going for a middle name (clearly the right call considering we can't even sort this out).

Alfie
Brian
Charlie
Declan
Ethan
Frank
George
Harry
Isaac
Jacob
Kade
Lewis
Mason
Nathan
Ollie
Peter
Riley
Stanley
U?
Vincent
Wade
Xander
Y?
Z?