Would you go against your DP and register a name they don't like?

[RosannaJP]

Hello, our baby boy is 4 weeks old and we have still not managed to finalise his name! Me and DP have absolute polar opposite name styles and it has been a nightmare trying to find any compromise at all. When we think we are compromising, the other just doesn't like the name enough so we are left with a name neither of us really like.

I'm at the stage now where we do have to register his birth, I know we have a couple weeks left but I don't want to leave it until last minute to have his decided name and it's already feeling very last minute with him being 4 weeks.

Would it be wrong to say "look, we are never going to agree and I have to register something and one of us may as well love it" and then he will in the end love it because it is his son's name? Or is that just asking for a relationship breakdown. Not sure what to do!

Can you think of a handsome nick name for the second name that you have already chosen?
Maybe your son will have just two names - the two surnames..

Or a one syllable name ..

Jock Surname Surname
Vic Surname Surname
Flynn
Tim
Ben
Todd
Max
Nash
Tex
Griff
Gough
Art
Bruce

Once you find something that could work don't ask anyone else's opinion on it!
You'll just make it harder for yourselves.

Sounds like you’re really trying to compromise and he’s not! Don’t misspell a name because he said it’s better. Everyone knows Asa is Asa no one will mispronounce that ffs. He’s just bring unreasonable there. Good luck. I work in a school and honestly the collective eye roll when we get a misspelled /phonetically spelt name is audible! Also we are drowning in Kais !

Is he trying half as hard as you to find something you both like? Or are you, while recovering from giving birth and adjusting to looking after a newborn, also working your butt off to find a name that makes your dh happy? It feels a bit like it.

His name choices are pretty bad to be honest. Why can’t he support yours? Why insist on all this americanised spelling when that’s him and it’s not you? I like Malachi.

Oooo Logan is great!

How about Seth?

Can't believe I have read your whole thread whist eating breakfast. Brodie seems a winner to me.

Agree with this. He seems determined to get his way, down to specifics on spelling. Don’t use his surname.

Major change in the night. I was breastfeeding DS and he usually gets up with me but he didn't wake up and I didn't want to wake him really as was ok on my own and then he woke up towards the end and I asked him if we are going to go for Brodie/Brody then and I feel he just had a major change of heart and told me how he wants me to actually really like his name and he knows how I'll actually probably be using it more (this isn't in a bad way but we already decided that my hours are being massively cut - he works a better paying job and mine is a job that pays poorly but is rewarding) so I can be at home with DS and just increase hours when he starts nursery etc. sorry for the random life story now and he said that he thinks Caleb is actually a good fit, I asked him if he was actually serious and liked it and he said it's not a name he would decide on if it was him solely naming the baby but it's his favourite from my whole first list (there was about 10 names on there). He has asked if he can have a middle name though and "has been thinking" and said he thinks it would be nice to do biblical names followed by a town name and I am a bit like what sort of system is that and he said he knows I love biblical names so for future children they can have that and then a town name which he seems to love so much he seems so excited by it, saying how for girls there is loads too like Brooklyn and I just told him to calm himself down about future kids because the one we have now is plenty and we need to name him but he seems quite thrilled about this idea and honestly it sounds positive for me with the whole "biblical first name" thing. He said he was a maybe on Calvin and then realised it was getting a bit silly and for us to both just get a name we love.

As he picked from my list for Caleb (which I'm more than happy about ) he has actually said we can go through the place names together. I've selected Austin and miraculously he has said yes. He said he would select Caleb Boston and I said how Boston really isn't a name to me and that I don't like the Bs roll together and so he did say Caleb Orlando and I'm not trying to be unfair here as I've got bloody Caleb which I'm so pleased with but I did ask if we can keep looking and then we did have Caleb Phoenix or Caleb Austin and I thought both were actually good but told him if I was to pick I'd go for Caleb Austin and he basically just said ok great decided.

DS will have 4 names in total as he's having a double surname and we originally wasn't sure on that but I feel this is now a good compromise and yes it's in my favour massively it feels which is weird when yesterday I was thinking I was going to have to be compromising on names he was suggesting but it does seem he's had a huge change of heart especially when he knows how hard things have been for me and the fact I did still let him sleep I think he just changed his mind!! I don't know. I am a bit shocked we were able to even discuss the middle name as well mind, I keep wondering if he will change his mind

Great update, great name!

Good outcome! Caleb is lovely!

Congratulations on naming your baby boy. Caleb is gorgeous ❤️. Don’t give him time to change his mind, get to that registry office ASAP 😂

I'm glad you've come to a decision, and also that you've come up with some middle names that keep your DH happy and are actually names. I just say, I struggle to understand what your DH thinks is so great about American town names. It's not as if you have any connection with the towns in question, and there is nothing that makes them inherently attractive as names. It just sounds and if he's trying unsuccessfully to be cool which shouldn't be the first priority in choosing a child's name.

Look we like what we like…. I like names that aren’t names as far as other (boring) people are concerned. What matters is you have agreement. Yay. Caleb is really great.

Yeay! I thought about your thread after I posted (saddo) and thought Caleb is actually quite close to your dh's style and might be worth trying to sell. So pleased to read this update! And that it stemmed from your dh reflecting and compromising. Bodes well. Congratulations OP! Enjoy registering baby Caleb

Caleb Austin is lovely! Quick name that baby! I’m glad he has had a sensible moment realising this is not the time to ‘win’ and make baby’s name all about him and nothing to do with your wishes! I was feeling really bad for you.

Caleb Austin is a really lovely name. Agree with you that Caleb Boston doesn't work (also, Boston in Lincolnshire isn't great, it was described in January as 'the fattest town in the country, the least integrated, the lowest paid, the most murderous and the most Brexity').

Caleb is perfect 😍 congratulations!

Lovely names ❤️ well done OP

Great update, well done!

Great update.

Caleb Austin is great.

Good choice. I like both names.

Caleb is lovely. I would go for Tennessee rather than Austin coz of powers but it's a big name for a little baby

😯😯 I'm surprised this is even legal?!

If you're married the child is considering a child of the marriage so either party can register.