Would you go against your DP and register a name they don't like?

[RosannaJP]

Hello, our baby boy is 4 weeks old and we have still not managed to finalise his name! Me and DP have absolute polar opposite name styles and it has been a nightmare trying to find any compromise at all. When we think we are compromising, the other just doesn't like the name enough so we are left with a name neither of us really like.

I'm at the stage now where we do have to register his birth, I know we have a couple weeks left but I don't want to leave it until last minute to have his decided name and it's already feeling very last minute with him being 4 weeks.

Would it be wrong to say "look, we are never going to agree and I have to register something and one of us may as well love it" and then he will in the end love it because it is his son's name? Or is that just asking for a relationship breakdown. Not sure what to do!

ASHER

Ooh good one.
And Asa. (He can call him Ace.)

I think you know going against your partner would be wrong.

But it is so so hard. Our little boy didn’t have a name for nearly four weeks too. In the end we went with a name we both liked but neither of us loved. It’s my baby’s name though so I’m happy with it but we found it so much harder with our boy than our girl.

For what it’s worth I like your names much better than his - but sadly that doesn’t mean you can overrule him.

What about:

Adam
Amos
Jonah
Malachi
Seth
Lucas
Simeon
Darius
Toby
Jethro
Jabez
Joel
Ethan
Nathan

If he’s really set on the surnames as first names, maybe:

Farrow
Benson (and call him Ben)
Montgomery (and call him Monty)
Finnegan or Finley (and call him Fin)
Sullivan (and call him Sonny)
Marlow (and call him Marley)
Also like the earlier suggestion of Samson.

It’s not my favourite type of name but I’d be basically looking for one where you can call him something you like more as a nickname.

I have a Mason so of course think it's lovely, you said no to a middle name but what about Mason Levi .... might help things along but no, definitely don't register behind your dp's back

Call him Blake. 😁

We didn't like the same style of names so we made an agreement that for our first child, I'd pick the first name and he'd pick the middle name and for the second child, we'd swap.
That's exactly what we did and we now love both our girls names and we can't imagine them being called anything else.

It's a horrible story!

Wicked woman betrayed him multiple times, ending in murder-suicide!

Blake
Cole
Hunter
Parker

Are some of the names on our list and we felt they were a good mix of american/English names

Personally I think the one who did the 'being pregnant, gave birth' gets the casting vote in a naming disagreement. She's the one who put the work in.

I know it's nice to have a name you both like, but my honest view is that you went through so much, with pregnancy, and a tough labour, so I think in situations like this, mother should have the final say.. i would also consider using a middle name, one that your husband can pick himself (but it might be awkward if he picks a surname name, as then your child will have 3 surnames in his name, and that's just awkward).

If my husband didn't let me have the final say in a situation like this, I would be very disappointed in him, truly.. the mother is the one who goes through the trauma of bringing the child in to the world, it's only right you get the final say.

Many years ago my friends father did this and registered her with his choice of name first and her mothers second. For the whole of her life her mother used the middle name and refused to acknowledge the first name.

Melanie Louise

So for example if I rang and dad answered I would ask for Melanie but if mum answered I had to ask for Louise. If I said is Melanie there she would say there is no Melanie here.

She was called Melanie to everyone except her mum. It was bizarre her mum would say Louise your dinner is ready and her dad would say Melanie pass me the salt please.

They are polar opposite lists, my suggestions:
Ezekiel nn Zeke
Lucien
Arlington nn Arlo
Chase
Archer

@RosannaJP please do let us know what you decide upon.

I agree with those saying the mother should really get the final say here - in every situation I know of where the couple had different name preferences, the father agreed after seeing what their partner had to go through in childbirth that it was their right to make the final decision on the name!

That said though, it’s obviously nicer if you can agree on a name you both like! I know you said no middle name but I would go with your choice for first name and his choice for middle name so you both get to pick.

He likes Acer and I like Asa, I reckon I can maybe convince the Asa one I wouldn't dream of having Acer lol

Would you consider something like Ezra? It’s biblical but currently modern?

Sounds OK to me. At least your husband will love the name......oh wait.....you mean you should be happy......oooppsss

I was also going to suggest Asa!!

I was going to suggest Asa too!

You can't just register him without agreeing.

Can you get it through his head that fashionable surname/product type names now re going to sound really silly in a few years' time?

Also. Samson Galaxy might be an issue at school if Samsung are still going

Dexter
Ethan
Otto
Otis
Joshua
Rory
Abel
Axel
Connor
Xander
Owen
Aiden
Ashby
Jonah
Jethro
Roman
Rowan
Nathaniel/Nate
Eric
Evan
Ivan
Toby

That is an extremely cruel thing to do.

Your DP’s suggestion of Acer is actually quite nice.
‘Meaning:number one or the best; maple. Acer is a masculine name of English and Latin origin to remind baby that they're truly destined for greatness. A shortened form of Ace, it means “number one” or “the best,” which is sure to inspire baby to reach for the highest peaks throughout their life.’