One week old baby- husband won't discuss a name.

[busymamaof2]

DD3 born last week. Now ten days old.

For the other two we compromised on names, although husband always exaggerates claims he feels the other two were names he compromised on and were never his own choices. This is wrong. We both compromised and neither got our first choice.

DD3 and he wants something so plain and generic I just cannot even contemplate it. Angela. I don't like it. Fairly dated now. We are also Scottish and Irish so everyone is expecting something Scottish, Irish or Celtic especially as other two DC have those connotations to their names.

He is refusing to even have a discussion on any other name. Keeps saying hello little Angela to the baby to wind me up. Last night I said I wouldn't be bullied into a name I didn't like, especially as this week he has gone straight back to work 3 days post birth, he has been no help with the baby. In a week I'd say he's changed 3 nappies. Given her one feed. Yet despite his hopelessness it's a my way or highway name.

The amount of texts I am receiving asking about a name is driving me mad and clearly indicates we're having problems.

What would you do?

Angela + Nancy = Annie.

Just a thought?

I put my foot down with this. My ex wanted to call my pfb Warr ! FFS. He wouldn't discuss it so I registered ds myself. There are some decisions you just have to take.

Orla will always have an unfortunate autocorrect so would avoid that one!

I quite like Angela, due to a positive association, and pretty sure it will be making a comeback at some point along with other 40s/ 50s names, so you would be ahead of the curve.

Megan peaked 20 years ago and already feels dated. Nancy is nice, and I think goes ok with Angela as a middle name.

I agree though the problems appear to lie in thr relationship and the name is a symptom,

Angela over Nanci any day

I would insist that both need to agree on a first name and use Angela as a middle name.

Did he agree with your DS’s name?

Some good bits of advice here, ditch all current favourite, including Angela, and start again. But suggest Angela as a middle name option.

Megan is Welsh, and Nansi is a Welsh spelling of an English name (apparently with Hebrew origins). So neither will reflect your Scottish and Irish ancestry.

Angela is a perfectly nice name, just not to your taste, so there's no need to be rude about it. At the end of the day it's just your preference vs his - neither is right or wrong.

He doesn't help with his own child properly and he's winding you up on purpose a week after you've given birth? I'd never stay with someone like this, name her yourself and get rid of him,this isn't normal behaviour for a new father. So many people on here having babies with wankers, I don't get it. Congratulations on your daughter, I hope you give her a beautiful name and go off together just the two of you and be happy.

Give him a shortlist of 3-6 names you like
Ask him which one he dislikes the least
Go and register her as that w Angela as a middle name
Tell him afterwards in a matter of fact way

Then you might want to move to the main business of considering your marriage, because he sounds like a twat.

I would just accept Angela. Name is decent and he truly wants it and I would just let it. Pick a middle you like.

I really wouldn’t spell Nancy Nansi - I know they do in Wales but anywhere else it just looks illiterate

Nancy, Orla and Megan are all fine

The first two are fashionable now, Megan was more of a 90s name, but it was never popular enough to sound dated now, so ignore those comments.

Nansi is stuck with a lifetime of incorrect spelling. I’ve never seen Nancy spelt like that in Scotland or Ireland and I’ve lived in both for many years. What about Aine (or Anya - same pronunciation)? That has the feel of Angela, or you could go with Angelica (which is an amazing and unusual but still spellable name and one your DH could probably compromise on). Others could include:

Delia
Mariel
Lanis
Shona
Tara

@neverwinternights

It’s not though is it? It’s dated, but the main issue is she’ll be called Angie which will make her sound like a downtrodden 65 year old barmaid in a working man’s club - it’s like calling your child Maureen or Eileen. That really isn’t fair on the child.

Actually OP - you could go for Anna nn Nancy, Anna is pretty close to Angela, and Nancy is traditionally a nn for it.

Nancy is awful. Megan is welsh!

he’s always wanted that name so I get why he’s put out. I also don’t understand what it’s got to do with your mum?

Aine and Anya are not pronounced the same.

Is there a vaguely similar name you could grow to like? Angelica (like the character in Hamiltin who is a wonderful strong female role in a mostly-male-centric story) or Angelina? Or a name with a similar angelic meaning like Gabrielle or Seraphina? If he won't discuss it you'll just have to register her on your own with a name you are ok with - but don't choose any of the names that you know he really dislikes that are your own favourites.

We have always had to comprise on dc names as the fundamental things that are important to us about how to choose a name are very different. We managed to find compromises by getting to understand the basic criteria that made a name appealing to each other and each trying to think of names that fitted the other person's criteria.

Angeli or Angelin are variations of Angela I have heard in the States

Or just Angel

Angela is much nicer than any of your choices in my opinion, sorry!

Would you say that about an Irish name?

@neverwinternights you'd just accept a name for your child that you hate because he's being a sulking twat. Jesus, I hope you're only 12yo & not actually an adult doormat.

Because she asked her mum?

their DS is named after her Grandad whose wife was called Angela, so to the OP & her mum, calling her DD Angela is ridiculous regardless on the actual name.

Apart from the fact that it's just an awful name for a baby/child (& adult unless you're a 60yo piano teacher)

@busymamaof2 I'd tell him to stop being such an idiot & that you need to choose a name you both like for your (3rd) daughter!

I'm not sure how you've managed to have 4 kids (at least) with this manchild.

The biggest issue here is that he's ignoring the fact you don't like Angela. Have you named one of the others your first choice ?