One week old baby- husband won't discuss a name.

[busymamaof2]

DD3 born last week. Now ten days old.

For the other two we compromised on names, although husband always exaggerates claims he feels the other two were names he compromised on and were never his own choices. This is wrong. We both compromised and neither got our first choice.

DD3 and he wants something so plain and generic I just cannot even contemplate it. Angela. I don't like it. Fairly dated now. We are also Scottish and Irish so everyone is expecting something Scottish, Irish or Celtic especially as other two DC have those connotations to their names.

He is refusing to even have a discussion on any other name. Keeps saying hello little Angela to the baby to wind me up. Last night I said I wouldn't be bullied into a name I didn't like, especially as this week he has gone straight back to work 3 days post birth, he has been no help with the baby. In a week I'd say he's changed 3 nappies. Given her one feed. Yet despite his hopelessness it's a my way or highway name.

The amount of texts I am receiving asking about a name is driving me mad and clearly indicates we're having problems.

What would you do?

Nancy is a beautiful name

i know an Angeline

lovely name

Call the baby Angel then no one can assume the gender.

My greatgrandmother who was undoubtedly Irish was called Angel.

This is an awful situation and I’m glad the ratbag became an ex. But what if the now five year old little girl loves her name and would find it confusing and upsetting to change it?

Angela’s nice. I don’t really like the nicknames though. Having said that I know a Nancy whose nickname is “Nan” and I don’t like that.

You’ll both have to scrub your favourites and find something you can agree on. that’s what I had to do. My DD has a name I’m not wild about but it’s a good name and that’s all that matters.

God Angela is awful for a baby. That's really unfair he's just saying it's my name or nothing. Could angelica work as a compromise? I love all of your name choices op

I'm confused because the OP is in the same situation and you are trying to sell variations of Angela to her even though she too is being strong armed by into it by someone who refuses to communicate and she knows she hates the name.

If you can acknowledge it's an awful situation for Spritelite, then why wouldn't you acknowledge that it's a horrible situation in the making for the OP if five years down the line she is feeling sad and angry and it's too late by then do do something about it.

I actually really like Angela, more than your list I’m afraid OP. It’s not one I would have ever thought of but it’s really lovely.

Well two of my favourite people (Think mentor/substitute Mum-type thing) were called Angela and Christina so I used to think I’d call a girl Angelina.

@busymamaof2 Congratulations on your new baby.

I don’t have an opinion on your DC name choices - you do you.

But I do have an opinion on your DH - he is behaving abusively. He has returned to work early in a strop rather than parent his newborn and care for his post-partum wife. He is trying to bully you into giving in when you are vulnerable. This is what you need to discuss.

iIn terms of naming baby, if he is willing to discuss it kindly and calmly, you could give him one more chance. Clarify that Angela is off the table because you hate it plus it would be inappropriate to name your DD after your Granddad’s girlfriend. And then come to an agreement.
If that’s impossible or he refuses to engage, I would quietly and without telling him in advance take baby to the registrar’s office on Monday and register her with your favourite names. Because negotiation is not possible in an abusive relationship.

But I really hope he comes to his senses. Good luck

I had also had big disagreements with my DH on the name of our 3rd child. After 2 boys we thought we were expecting another boy and were surprised when he was in fact a she... We already had a boys name planned and DH wanted to stick with it (it's the kind of name that you could have for both sexes) but I really wanted a traditional girls name. We absolutely couldn't agree so in the end we both compromised and named her for the Queen - apparently this is what you do when you can't agree or decide. Despite the fact that she is registered as Elizabeth, I just always called her the name that I wanted, and that's stuck.

So OP... feel free to let him have his way on the birth certificate and then just crack on and call her the name that you love. Everyone is a winner then!

He can't bully you into liking a name. And the very fact that he's trying to do so when you're 10 days post birth is shameful of him.

Orlaith
Orla
Orlaigh
Orfhlaith

are all valid spellings of the name.

The issue isn’t the name, the issue is his behaviour so those PPs suggesting alternative names are missing the point really. OP needs suggestions on how to deal with her husband.

Angela could have a nickname Nan(cy)

He's wanted the name Angela since forever, he clearly loves the name. Every Angela I've ever met has been wonderful, so I'd go with it.
Having children named after both grandparents is not odd in the slightest.
Lots of children have middle aged names. My daughter had a "Pete" (Peter) in her reception class which made me smile. I thought all Peters were aged 40 to 90.

I agree with others that the problem seems to be deeper and he should be giving you far more support. On the other hand if he really loves the name and has not had it for any other the other DCs and you've named one after a family member... he does seem to have compromised more than you on names in the past.

I also can't see why you can't name your DCs after two of grandparents - seems a nice thing to do - nor what your mother's opinion has to do with naming a child that is not hers.

You must be exhausted and I feel for you with his lack of help and all the work you have to do. He does need a rollicking over that. He should perhaps be allowed to get his way partially with Angela though.

As to the names - the ones you mention are not particularly Irish or Scottish. And I prefer Angela to any of the ones you mention. It is a pretty name and not so common at the moment. It is a little old fashioned but in classy way. As others say if you really cannot bear it perhaps a Gaelic version or a similar name - Angelica? Angelina? Angel?

Angelique? (like the German tennis player lol)

You are both being unreasonable here. First, ignore the text messages and questions about her name, it's no-one else's business! You say first that you both compromised on the first two children's names, but then go onto say one of them is named after your grandfather, so perhaps DH doesn't feel like you did much compromising there. You are also complaining that he's gone back to work, but did he have a choice? A lot of people don't get much time off.
Is there anyone close (your mum?) who can take your older children out for a couple of hours, so that you and DH can just spend some time together, you two and the baby, and have a calm, reasonable conversation about this? If you are ruling out Angela, he can rule out your choice too. Make a longer list as other have suggested. Or browse name websites, there are plenty of them. Find a compromise that you can both live with.

Please do not go ahead and register the baby without his consent - this is terrible entitled behaviour and you would be rightly furious if he were to do it.
There is nothing else for it than to scrap both of your favourite choices and come up with a new option, chosen together. You both need to be open minded and compromise a bit.

If you don't like the name you shouldn't be forced to name your daughter that!

You need to take control here I'm afraid. Pick a shortlist of five, or even ten names that YOU like which you believe might suit your child. Give your DH the list and tell him to pick one - it gives him some control but not all of it.

Honestly, he's acting like a twat frankly and I wouldn't stand for it. She is his daughter but she has two parents and you should both work together to choose a name.

Just no. Refuse to register her until you both agree on a name.

You can have two middle names. Nancy Angela Megan sounds great.

Also, if you like more unusual names then I know an Angelica, shortened to Kika. Angela means angel, which is suitably Catholic.

Personally I don't like the spelling Nansi. Your child will be lumbered with a name that looks like a spelling mistake. If you want the most Irish of Irish names then go for Bridget.

I prefer your husbands choice to yours.

Angela is lovely.

How about Angelica or Angel