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My mum's campaign against girl's name

177 replies

batteriesgoing · 03/10/2020 10:46

Name change as outing. Wasn't sure if I should post here or aibu but I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant. Dh and I have really struggled to choose a name we both like and finally came up with one we can agree on.I'm very close to my mother and she has helped me a lot over the years but she seems to think this means she gets a big input into naming the baby. I didn't want to tell her the name we have picked as I knew she wouldn't like it as it was my second choice when I was pregnant last time and she vetoed it then. I told her I didn't want to talk about it and she went into a mood for about a week, being short with me on the phone and saying how hurt she was that she wasn't being included but she knew dh had mentioned Ed it to his parents ( his parents are not as interested so not so much of a big deal). Anyway, I eventually gave in and told her the name and since then she had waged a campaign against his name. Ridiculing it and basically saying it's horrible. Telling my dd to tell me how horrible it is. I've been ignoring and changing the subject but then this morning I feel she's gone too far. She is getting a dog and said she's going to call the dog the name so I can't use it. Wtf? I actually believe she will do this. Honestly I'm angry with her at this point. It's not a weird name or anything like that and I don't think it deserves all this hate. My sister had also joined in with this and had started making fun of it in every conversation we have. Anyone else experiencing high pressure from extended family about names?

OP posts:
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batteriesgoing · 03/10/2020 17:49

Sorry yes Ed is a typo. Lol. The name is Verity for anyone curious. It ticks our boxes which is quite hard. My dh likes kind of traditional names and I wanted something girly but not hugely popular that there's lots in the class. I also like 'e' ending names. Anyway, I totally agree it's nobody's choice except mine and dh's. Picking baby names is ridiculously hard so you can't possibly please anyone. I am actually over the moon dh likes this name as much as I do so I'm not letting her spoil it. Even if she calls the dog this name I'm going to use it.

OP posts:
VettiyaIruken · 03/10/2020 17:50

That's a beautiful name.

SBTLove · 03/10/2020 17:52

Verity is a lovely name and definitely not for a dog!

letsmaketea · 03/10/2020 17:55

That's such a lovely name.

Soubriquet · 03/10/2020 17:57

Ah! I used to know a Verity back when I was a child. The only one I have ever met.

It’s a lovely name

batteriesgoing · 03/10/2020 17:58

@GeorgiaGirl52 I don't need to ask her what she dislikes about it. She's told me. Said it sounds like Ferret/ ferrety. But you can rhyme most names with something can't you? I'm not bothered by that.

OP posts:
SunbathingDragon · 03/10/2020 18:01

Verity is lovely. Unusual enough there won’t be many of them but well enough known that she will also have her name spelt and pronounced correctly.

My DM didn’t speak to me for five weeks be she she could name DC1 and I know she hates DC2’s name as it was a contender first time round. So what? You’ll regret it it you don’t use the name you want.

If you mum calls her dog Verity then she will have a hard time to tell people she dislikes the name.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 03/10/2020 18:01

Love the name Verity

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 03/10/2020 18:02

You can rhyme names with anything and even if you can’t children are likely to come up with their own ‘cruel’ nickname unrelated to the name if they wish.

BigFatLiar · 03/10/2020 18:10

Verity is nice 👍

diddl · 03/10/2020 18:12

Ooooh, love that name!

I've only ever known one & she was lovely!

Daft name for a dog imo.

batteriesgoing · 03/10/2020 18:19

Thanks for the votes of confidence. Even if it's not what you'd pick I can't see anything to despise much about Verity. Certainly not anything to wage war over anyway.

OP posts:
yomellamoHelly · 03/10/2020 18:25

She overstepped the line when she got your daughter involved. Time to start creating some distance.

Mulhollandmagoo · 03/10/2020 18:30

Verity is a beautiful name!! It was on my list too, keep it and ignore your mum, she sounds a little spoilt playing up like she is until she gets what she wants

valtandsinegar · 03/10/2020 18:47

Verity is a lovely name for a child and a stupid name for a dog!

scrivette · 03/10/2020 18:48

That's a beautiful name, nothing wrong with that whatsoever.

My DDad hated the name I gave DD (it's an extremely unusual word name) and tried to get me to change it. He said he was embarrassed to tell his friends what it was.

A few years later he has got used to it although he tends to use a shortened version of the name I have noticed that more and more he is starting to use the full name.

Stick with it and ignore her, she is being very unreasonable.

Abigboydiditandranaway · 03/10/2020 19:09

Please go to the stately homes thread on relationships

PatchworkElmer · 03/10/2020 19:11

Ignore your Mum- it’s a nice name. And it’s your choice!

ineedaholidaynow · 03/10/2020 19:16

Lovely name for a little girl, but not great for a dog!

ProfMcGonigle · 03/10/2020 19:23

OP, I advise you to ensure this stops now. If you don't stop her, it will get much worse as time goes on. Whenever you and your DH make a decision about parenting (or anything) that she disagrees with, she will manipulate you to come to her way of thinking. Like a child learns from experience, she has learned how to succeed in this behaviour. I'm sorry, but you have allowed her.

I'm now middle-aged and I allowed my mother to control me for years. It was the path of least resistance. When I finally stood up to her (I had no choice; it was about my children's safety), her response was nuclear. She terrorised me for almost a year and now, over 2 years later, she is till punishing me and making my otherwise happy life a misery. And why wouldn't she? She has learned that if she keeps this up, I'll give in eventually. It's a hard lesson to learn.

Justkeeprollingalong · 03/10/2020 19:25

That is a beautiful, classic name. Ignore your mother, she sounds deeply unpleasant.

SeanCailleach · 03/10/2020 19:25

OMG what a beautiful name! Love love love it.

Heffalooomia · 03/10/2020 19:27

It's a lovely lovely name, how can she not want a granddaughter named after truth?

tenlittlecygnets · 03/10/2020 19:31

Your mum is a big bully

She's overstepping the mark massively. She's going to trample all over your boundaries when the baby is here unless you do something...

Timeandtune · 03/10/2020 19:31

Just came on to say what a lovely name. Agree with everyone else you need to distance yourself at least temporarily from your mum. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

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