Can't shake name regret of my 4 year old

[Anappleaday1]

I don't really know the point of posting this, as I obviously wouldn't change it now but I can't seem to get over regretting what we called dd, who is now 4. DH is a teacher and very picky about names. Her name is Lily. I did used to love it, but had reservations about popularity. Dh assured me that it wasn't that popular in the local schools that he had/was teaching in and I think it was just outside top 10 in 2014 (the most recent ons stats available when she was born). We also didn't spend any time around babies/young children as she was our first. But now I hear it everywhere and she is one of three at nursery. I have waves of being ok with it but right now I feel I am obsessing over it, which I realise is pointless and in the grand scheme of things I know very trivial. Perhaps it's a combination of lockdown meaning there is more time to dwell on things, and we have just found out her school for September- it's one form entry so if there are others they will all be in the same class. I just find her name really bland now and regret not being more firm with other options (I generally like more unusual, but classic names). Sorry for rambling. Has anyone experienced name regret for such a long time?

[Clockonmantlepiece]

Lily is a lovely name. Thea (apologies @dodgeballchamp is prone to teasing.

Sorry.

They say 'the a', are you the a? and where's the first letter of the alphabet.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

My mother did that when I was 4. She had her reasons but after 20 years I went back to my original name. Family calls me half of the time the original name, the other half - the other name. I don't like the other name but I’m stuck with it on all important documents.
I never liked it and it never felt “me”.
4 yo is too late.

[Danetobe]

Lily is a beautiful name. Sorry not helpful, but it sounds strong, passionate and powerful and beautiful and thoughtful.

[Itwasntme1]

Don’t hyphen it. Sorry but lily in it’s own is elegant. Lily rose or lily may (or mae) takes away from it

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

Once you look out for it, you realise how many people choose to go by middle names
Meghan Markle, Boris Johnson, Jude Law. These first names are all actually middle names!

The UK has had seven other Prime Ministers who went by their middle names. Three of those had the first name James (MacDonald, Wilson & Brown) and the one who was commonly known as James actually had the name Leonard James Callaghan!

The image of PM James (Gordon) Brown boogieing on down and singing "Mama, I'm too hot to handle" is the stuff of nightmares

[lyralalala]

Lily is a lovely name.

I grew up with a very unusual name and changed it to my middle name at the first chance I got.

I gave my kids simple and classic names. With DD3 DH really wanted to give her quite an unusual name, but I was adamant we stuck with simple and classic. The name we chose in the end was top 3 in popularity. There are no others in her class with her name, but 2 others with the name DH wanted to give.

[Bluewater1]

I think Lily is a lovely name, it's classic and suits children and adults alike

[1805]

Does your daughter like the name Lilly? If so, then leave it. If not, consider changing it.
My DD has an official name, but goes by a rather tenuous derivative of it. When she started school we asked her what she wanted the teachers to call her, and she chose her official name. Now she is 15, and gets called both names by teachers, and the short name by friends. At home we never use the official name, even when she's in trouble! I see her official name as a grown up name, and her shortened name as a little girls name. It's up to her which one she uses in different circumstances.

[alphasox]

There were four girls in my primary class with my name, and 5 of us in my year at secondary. (I was born in the late 70s so everyone was called Claire, Laura or Sarah!). When I was a kid it never occurred to be to be bothered, kids don’t worry about this kind of thing. Strangely in my adult life I know only one other person with my name and I don’t see her that often. So I think you need to find a way to make peace with this. It’s really not a big issue.
Thankfully Lily is a lovely classic name and not wacky so I think you should find a way to relax about it.

[gingersausage]

I love how people are saying “you can’t change her name OP”. Of course she can. She can literally call her child anything she wants.

I also find it bizarre that posters know people who are devastated because another child has the same name as theirs. Talk about illogical; if they like the name, it stands to reason other people will 🤣.

[Walkaround]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Lily as a name. In fact, it’s a perfect name for the times, what with Lily the Pink being the inventor of medicinal compound and the saviour of the human race . Don’t take her name away from her - it is her name now, not yours.

[Astoatora54]

@gingersausage When people say that, they don't mean "can't" as in it's ot possible, just that she really shouldn't!

[Blondie1092]

Lily is a beautiful name! It's popular, yes... but popular for a reason!
Does she have a middle name? You could have her registered in school as a double-barrelled name using that?

[HollowTalk]

It's a lovely name - don't change it! In my daughter's class there were 3 x Katie, 3 x Rosie and 3 x Hannah. They just thought it was funny. Don't know why but when my daughter went to secondary school, she was the only one in her class with her name, and she doesn't know anyone else with her name now.

[ArkAtEee]

I have a very common name amongst my age group. There were 6 of us in my secondary school class. I have a few friends of the same name. But no-one else with the same name at work or in hobby groups, it really is quite age-specific. So even if it's popular now, once she gets out into the world she will probably feel a bit more unique.

Having said that, I gave my kid an unusual name...

[ElizabethMainwaring]

I named my first dog Lily twenty years ago. It's a beautiful name.
I'd go Lillian.

[Anappleaday1]

Thank you all for your kind and reassuring words, you really have helped and I think I needed to write down my feelings.

Just to clarify, it's not the popularity that's the reason for my regret, but a contributing factor. I think it's that it wasn't my first choice and hearing it so often has somehow made it feel less special- and I never want my dd to feel like that! Saying that, if I still loved the name I don't think I'd care about popularity (the other names on my list were all well known, just less popular). I hadn't really considered how tastes change over time, while I wouldn't choose it now it obviously felt right nearly 5 years ago and thinking about it, probably most people wouldn't have chosen the same name 5/10/15 years on.

I do love it's simplicity and wouldn't consider lengthening it.

Thank you all again, you really have helped me.

[Lynda07]

I think Lily is a very nice name and can't understand why you are regretting it. Lily will have nothing to complain about as she grows up, nobody will take the mick out of her for her name. I deliberately chose to call my son 'David' years ago and have never regretted: he has loads of friends called, 'Dave' and 'Nick', once had a snooker match between Daves and Nicks. He thinks it's cool and it is, so is Lily.

[Grassynoel]

Lily is a beautiful name.

I've always slightly regretted not calling my dd Cerys. Dh talked me out of it so I chose Rebecca instead. I do love her name, it's always been one of my favourites. Named after the dead chic in the book.[Grin]

She says if I had gone with Cerys she'd have run away as soon as she could walk!

[Ragwort]

My DS has a ‘top 5’ name, there was never another boy in his class at school with the same name, and if there had been, so what? He is at Uni now and his best mate does have the same name, but neither of them care .

My DH has a very common name for his generation, we know lots of men with the same name ... (three in our row of seven houses!) but it really isn’t an issue.

[C130]

I like the name Lily. The name Titus mentioned by another poster is a really nice name.

[MikeUniformMike]

Please don't change her name to Liliana or something or hyphenate it.

Being known by your middle name is a PITA. Any time you have to use the full name e.g hospital visits, you will be assumed to be known by the first.

The PM is Al to his family.

Mrs Thatcher was Hilda but chose to use Margaret.

[LittleCabbage]

I only know of one Lily locally so I think its popularity varies according to region. So later in in her life, she may not know any other Lilys.

It is a lovely name. At least you don't regret it being a bit chavvy or something.

[baggies]

The way I look at it is that she's YOUR Lily with all her special ways, quirks and all and that makes it the right name for your little daughter.

[MikeUniformMike]

Don't change it to Lillian either. Lily is lovely, and it's her name. Lillian isn't.