Can't shake name regret of my 4 year old

[Anappleaday1]

I don't really know the point of posting this, as I obviously wouldn't change it now but I can't seem to get over regretting what we called dd, who is now 4. DH is a teacher and very picky about names. Her name is Lily. I did used to love it, but had reservations about popularity. Dh assured me that it wasn't that popular in the local schools that he had/was teaching in and I think it was just outside top 10 in 2014 (the most recent ons stats available when she was born). We also didn't spend any time around babies/young children as she was our first. But now I hear it everywhere and she is one of three at nursery. I have waves of being ok with it but right now I feel I am obsessing over it, which I realise is pointless and in the grand scheme of things I know very trivial. Perhaps it's a combination of lockdown meaning there is more time to dwell on things, and we have just found out her school for September- it's one form entry so if there are others they will all be in the same class. I just find her name really bland now and regret not being more firm with other options (I generally like more unusual, but classic names). Sorry for rambling. Has anyone experienced name regret for such a long time?

[geojojo]

It's a beautiful name and I actually don't know any and spend a lot of time with young children. On the other hand I know a million Evies and Olivias. I don't think I would choose my 4 year old's name again but it is his and it suits him and I just remind myself that at the time it was the one we decided for him. I probably wouldn't have chosen it if I was a single mum but I really liked it and my dh loved it so it was a compromise. Lily is classic and will age really well.

[FixItUpChappie]

I get it OP I have a 7yr old Leo and I've always had a little guilty niggling of name regret because it's SO popular. At the time I didn't know any Leo's seriously and I even work with kids but the name is everywhere now - books, shows, there are 3 in his after school care room. I just tell him it's because it's so nice and try to remember that names are for life not just primary school. Now my other sons name is leaping in popularity too and it was in the hundreds in terms of popularity - so I guess you never know.

Lily is a beautiful and classic name. It will not tarnish or mark her of a certain generation. I say that as a person with a very cliche 70s name

[Quartz2208]

DH named DD (a fairly uncommon in the UK female version of a male name) because he loved it and I didnt love anything more. Its still not a name I would have chosen but its her name (coupled with the fact she insists on a unusual spelling of the nickname)

I was going to name DS but then DD loved a name she was adamant her brother was going to be called. He too loves his name.

It is her name now though. DD owns her name in a way that I was not expecting. She is Lily you cant change it

[Fabvegetablegrower]

I think Lily is a lovely name too. By the time she is 16 like my daughter she probably won't like it anyway so what is the point stressing? 😬

[Dogwithanovenmit]

Lily is ageless and timeless. I know a 20 something Lily and some toddler Lily’s and my late DGM was a Lily. My DGDs nickname is Lily and her real name is nothing like Lily but it suits her. Please try not to worry. Names are so difficult. I’ve always adored DDs name but she doesn’t like it at all 🤷🏽‍♀️.

[cantdothisnow1]

I did regret my daughter's name, Phoebe, when she started playgroup and suddenly everyone seemed to be called Phoebe. There were two in her class of 30 in a single class school and one in the year below. Prior to that there had been none in the school for at least a decade!

It has passed though and she most definitely suits her name.

Lily is a lovely name.

[Emmapeeler1]

I still had big name regret when my DD was 4. She was also almost Alice - which was my Gran's name which made me feel equally terrible. At the time I wasn't quite myself and was sort of talked into DH's choice. But you know what? At 10 she just IS her name and she seems to really like it.

FWIW I really like the name Lily. I think it's a similar sort of name to Alice. It's really pretty. Even though it's popular, I never ruled it out for the third child I didn't have despite its popularity. My son is one of many of his name (two in his class) and it's never bothered me at all.

[TatianaBis]

Well at least it’s a nice name even if it is very popular.

[maria860]

Hi I understand where your coming from I'm having a baby girl now after three boys and trying to think of an original name is so hard as all the pretty ones are popular.
I adore the name lily I even considered it for my daughter but I know a couple and so that's made me not choose lily. It's a family name for us and my nans we're both called lily so I will definitely be using it as a middle name.
I really think you need to stop overthinking it I don't think it's as popular now and Ava Olivia and Isla I hear of way more these days.
My two younger sons have really popular top ten names but I love their names their old fashioned and classy and I've never regretted their names because I love them and that's the important thing here.
My name is not common or uncommon but I don't care for it but I don't think about it and neither will your daughter lily is a lovely name

[Whatsyourflava]

I think I’ll DM you about this OP as I am completely in the same boat.

One suggestion to think about - could you give her a second middle name - one of the names you loved but didn’t pick? I know you said her one middle name isn’t really an option for a serious first name so how about just adding another middle name? And you could call her that new middle name occasionally as a sort of nickname - and if in 5-10 years she prefers her “new” middle name then she can use it.
Once you look out for it, you realise how many people choose to go by middle names
Meghan Markle, Boris Johnson, Jude Law. These first names are all actually middle names!

[Whatsyourflava]

Ps. I don’t know any Lily’s. It’s much less popular than it used to be

[whatausername]

That's just a sneaky attempt to change a perfectly nice name for no good reason. It's a person, not a hamster.

[DPotter]

Lily is a lovely name. Please don't be disappointed in your classic choice.
My name dates me to 3-4 years in the late 1950s/ early 1960s - virtually none before and even fewer since. In primary I was one of 3 and at secondary I was one of 5, with the same name in the same class. In primary we all had the same first letter for our surname as well, so known as full name, first and surname throughout primary school. However since leaving school I have never been in the same course, at college, university or any work place as another person with my name. Never.
We chose what we thought was an unusual name for DD - 5 in her class at secondary. Now at uni and work - she knows no one with her name.
School seems to be the bottle neck, once your little girl has grown and her social circle grows, there will be proportionately fewer Lilys for her to worry about.

[LouHotel]

You never know what will happen, my youngest is a very popular name but she’s the only one in her nursery across the different rooms.

My oldest I thought was less common but when I took her for her 5 day check, the midwife remarked that she’d never met a ‘t’ before this year but had seen 3 girls in the last 6 months called it.

We’re influenced sometimes and we don’t know it.

[Beautiful3]

She is four, its too late to change it now. Lily is such a beautiful name. I only know of one lily in my children's primary school. So it's not that popular everywhere.

If it helps, I too had baby name regret with my second. I chose unusual names for both my children. But because I didn't get many compliments on the youngests name, I immediately felt sick to think that I'd saddled her with this horrible name. Now she is nearing 7, I couldn't imagine her as another name. She loves her name and says that she loves being the only x at her school. I purposely gave them both plain middle names, in case they hated their first names when they grow up. OP the regret will fade.

[SunshineCake]

The only Lily I know is in her 80's, a lovely lady who sadly has Alzheimer's. We have a lot of children in our family and Lily doesn't even feature as a middle name. It is a lovely name and thankfully it hasn't been ruined by a stupid spelling in my experience.

[DippingToes]

Lily is a beautiful name. I rarely hear it myself unless it's double barrelled - there are lots of Lilli-Mae's around here for example.

The name on its own and your spelling is lovely.

[Itwasntme1]

Lily is a beautiful name and while popular, it’s not the most common name where I live.

My friend called her daughter Poppy. Like you she hadn’t realised how popular it was and thought it had a lovely 1930s feel. There are three girls with the same name in her class. I still love the name, but she is devastated.

I always remember starting work and a lady having a melt down because a character on eastEnders named their child the same name as her Two year old. She was actually sobbing. I think the name was Courtney. It’s still a lovely name, it just became a not more popular.

[DollyDaydream70]

It would be cruel and confusing to change the child's name now at the age of four. If she was below 12 months old I'd say just change it, but any age after that, I reckon a child recognizes and responds to their name. Think of how beautiful an actual Lily is when you think of your Daughter's name. You named her after a beautiful flower because she's a beautiful little girl. P.S. My Nanna was called Lily and she was a beautiful lady too, it's a very pretty name.

[Whatsyourflava]

@whatausername sorry I just wondered if you’re talking about me here or a different poster. My suggestion is to add another middle name so that if Lily were to find here name too popular or whatever else , then she does have an option there ready to change it to. I wasn’t suggesting her first name be changed - she’s 4 years old so I realise that’s totally not an option.
I personally have never liked my name that much (found it too popular). My parents often said that when they chose it they had no idea how popular it was. Honestly i would have loved it if, once they realised how popular my name was, my parents had then decided to give me a couple of middle names as other options for me.

[TheVanguardSix]

I think when our kids start school, you hear all of these interesting names and it makes you wonder about the name you've chosen. I have to admit, I've never had name regret, but I can understand it. I've had that moment of thinking, "Ah that's such a cool name! I wish I'd thought of that for DC3." You'll get past this, OP. Try to do so now. Changing her name wouldn't be a good idea at all, by the way!
Lily is a beautiful name and it was one I considered!
But I totally think you'll find, as she gets older and grows into Lily as a person, not just a name, you'll move past this obsession.

[DollyDaydream70]

P.P.S. My name is Michelle, there were 3 other Michelle's in my year at high school, it never bothered me a jot!

[SunshineCake]

Once I was in BHS when pregnant and a woman shouted the name we had planned for our baby to her child in a really horrible aggressive voice. Then a child was murdered with the same name we had chosen. In the shop I thought, I can't call my baby that now and at home after the news I asked dh if we had to chose a new name. I realise now how daft I was being and we stuck with the name. It absolutely doesn't suit her at all but tbh I'm not sure what would!!

[Katinski]

I really like the name Lily.

[Dontforgetyourbrolly]

I purposely gave my ds probably the most common boy's name you could think of ! Reason behind it is that I have an unusual name ( in this country) and i was sick of :
Having to repeat it / correct people
Spelling it out countless times
People mispronouncing it
People not listening / substituting it for another name !
My name is a bit more popular nowadays but not while I was growing up.
Lily is a beautiful name .