Can't shake name regret of my 4 year old

[Anappleaday1]

I don't really know the point of posting this, as I obviously wouldn't change it now but I can't seem to get over regretting what we called dd, who is now 4. DH is a teacher and very picky about names. Her name is Lily. I did used to love it, but had reservations about popularity. Dh assured me that it wasn't that popular in the local schools that he had/was teaching in and I think it was just outside top 10 in 2014 (the most recent ons stats available when she was born). We also didn't spend any time around babies/young children as she was our first. But now I hear it everywhere and she is one of three at nursery. I have waves of being ok with it but right now I feel I am obsessing over it, which I realise is pointless and in the grand scheme of things I know very trivial. Perhaps it's a combination of lockdown meaning there is more time to dwell on things, and we have just found out her school for September- it's one form entry so if there are others they will all be in the same class. I just find her name really bland now and regret not being more firm with other options (I generally like more unusual, but classic names). Sorry for rambling. Has anyone experienced name regret for such a long time?

[DollyDaydream70]

P.P.P.S. I named my Son 'Josh' in 1990, I didn't know of a single other Josh back then..... Roll on about 12 months, the world and his wife named their little baby boys JOSH!

Then, 10 years later, I had another little boy, I named him Jude, thinking that wasn't going to be a common name. A couple of weeks after he was born my Sister and I took her 2yr old to the park, where we witnessed a young Mum shouting her Son, JUDE!! there was also another Jude in his pre school class.

Don't think about how common a name is, just think that you loved the name and that's why you chose it :-)

[Dontforgetyourbrolly]

I know lots of boys with my son's name but only one of them is my lovely boy
He is unique of course.

[flowerstar19]

It's a beautiful name and I have 5 and 2 year old children and spend a lot of time around small kids and have never met a Lily!

[CheshireSplat]

I was going to try and cheer you up by saying that when DD2 was in nursery there were 2 girls with the same unusual name and now in school there are 2 Connies, which is quite unusual. So you never know.... the nursery name I was coming onto tell you about was Thea, so had you used that name there would have been 3 of them in one room....

[Mumalu]

**i don't love it .. sorry

[Bringringbring12]

Don’t focus on popularity
Focus on whether you like the name or not

If the latter is negative... then you either have to accept or talk to your DH about changing.

My son’s name has gone from obscure to popular over ten years. I adore the name so not least bit upset about it.

[OhTheRoses]

Changing names here but sticking to genres. DD has a classic, pretty name, let's say Anna never top ten but didn't feel overused u til dd was born when it suddenly popped up everywhere. Another name on our list was a bit more unusual let's say Jemima.

When dd started primary there were 12 girls in the class. 3 Anna's and 3 Jemimas. You couldn't have made it up. She's nearly 22 now and that infant moment has passed - usually one other in her year group but never that level of use again

Lily is lovely btw.

[Lexijayde44]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the name Lily. It's sweet but yeah it is very popular. It's kind of the same as Michael or Sophie or Olivia or Amy. There's always going to be a Lily or 5 that people no. But I like the fact that it's pretty and it's a flower. I think it's a name that sound sophisticated and feminine and and that in itself is lovely. My child is called Sienna. it's not that common but it's popular enough for people to know it. if you old people don't know what I've just said to them when I say it. Up-to-date school I thought I'd be at least another Sienna in the school but not necessarily in her class. She's in class with a Sienna. I'm not bothered though because she is sienna and her own person.

[Lexijayde44]

So sorry for my typos. Used my microphone.

[slashlover]

I'm a Lisa, in my primary class there were two of us, I really didn't care. My sister has a more unusual name and hates it, she often has to spell it for people and was always desperate to find something with her name on it - those candles/keyrings/magnets which Clintons sells or the sticks of rock in Blackpool.

[SpokeTooSoon]

It’s a lovely name. I don’t know any. However, there are THREE girls called Tabitha in my daughter’s year group of 30. There’s no way to predict what becomes common in your particular bubble.

[jackdawdawn]

As names goes, it's a good one - timeless, easy to spell, and not so odd she will feel self-conscious. My two younger sons have very popular names, sometimes I wish I had been more adventurous, I wanted Felix for my youngest, but my ex just laughed.

Does she have a middle name you could double barrel it with and make a bit more distinctive? Son's school had Lily-Maes and Lily- Annas and so on...

[Blursula]

I like the name and I actually don’t think of it as being really popular - I don’t know any in fact! I guess popularity varies widely in different areas. I’m glad you’re feeling a bit more reassured now OP

[Itwasntme1]

Names become popular for a reason, tastes change and none of us are as original as we would like to think. A friend thought she was being very original with Cora. elegant name - the mother in downton abbey. It is very popular - she is upset, but lots of people watched that show and had the same idea. Doesn’t take away from the name

[GrumpyHoonMain]

I chose a name as common as muck, one my Indian parents / inlaws ridiculed me for as being too English, precisely because other kids have it. I have a fairly unique name by British standards (and it means different things and has slightly different pronunciations / spellings across every country along the old silk route) and I hated it - hated having to correct pronunciation, hated being unable to buy cheap tat with my name on it in tourist shops pretty much anywhere in the world. Hated getting bullied because it was not only my skin colour / religion but also my name that singled me out. My DS doesn’t have to deal with any of that.

[HandfulOfDust]

I was expecting an awful name OP. Lily is lovely. Names come and go in popularity. My name was very rare when I was born then briefly became top 10 and was everywhere in nurseries for a year or two then faded away again.

[Isolatedbunny]

Shes 4. You can't change it. You need to accept the choice you made
I actually hate unique names. I love when I meet a child and their name is something familiar, like Sarah, Catherine, even Lily. This obsession with unique names is strange to me. When I meet a child with even a slightly unique name I do a big mental eye roll. Thing is, a lot of people I know think the same, but even those people named their child some strange unique name. I don't get it....

[dottiedodah]

I think its a pretty name and it doesnt matter if its popular really .No one "owns" a name! There are lots of names like this Jasmine, Sophie and so on .Lockdown is making us all overthink things!

[dodgeballchamp]

This is freaky because my name is Thea and my bf’s ex is called Lily 😂

But it is a pretty name. If it’s any consolation I hated being called Thea growing up and other kids at school would tease me by purposely pronouncing it wrongly. I quite like it now I’m an adult and I’ve never met any other Theas - but I also don’t know any Lily’s apart from the aforementioned ex

[HandfulOfDust]

My friend called her first child Elsa just before frozen came out and bitterly regretted it ever since. She still gets teased about being named after frozen etc. Lily is gorgeous no need to regret it - there are no lily's in my DC's school and she might well be the only one in her YR class.

[Davespecifico]

I know of a Liliana.

[IchbineinBerlinner]

Could you play around with the name? Lily Rose then eventually Rosie? Lily Milly then eventually Milly? things like that. You'll find a related name that could become a new name eventually. I changed my kid's name - she was 1 year old at the time. My mother regretted my sister's name and I knew this regret never left my mother. I remember when I changed my kid's name loads of people told me that they wished they had the courage to do it.

[MagnoliaJustice]

My brother and his wife adopted a little boy with a very ordinary, much used, name, and they gave him a middle name and he's now known as first name/middle name as an entire name, like Harry Jack (only not that). Don't worry too much, chances are her friends will automatically shorten or lengthen her name to something unique regardless