Can't shake name regret of my 4 year old

[Anappleaday1]

I don't really know the point of posting this, as I obviously wouldn't change it now but I can't seem to get over regretting what we called dd, who is now 4. DH is a teacher and very picky about names. Her name is Lily. I did used to love it, but had reservations about popularity. Dh assured me that it wasn't that popular in the local schools that he had/was teaching in and I think it was just outside top 10 in 2014 (the most recent ons stats available when she was born). We also didn't spend any time around babies/young children as she was our first. But now I hear it everywhere and she is one of three at nursery. I have waves of being ok with it but right now I feel I am obsessing over it, which I realise is pointless and in the grand scheme of things I know very trivial. Perhaps it's a combination of lockdown meaning there is more time to dwell on things, and we have just found out her school for September- it's one form entry so if there are others they will all be in the same class. I just find her name really bland now and regret not being more firm with other options (I generally like more unusual, but classic names). Sorry for rambling. Has anyone experienced name regret for such a long time?

[Sb131216]

I like the name but wouldn't use it based on knowing several cats called lily and the rise in popularity but I can understand how you feel.

My daughter has had a year long 'phase' with insisting she's called something else. To the point where drs/nursery/friends or family will call her name and she says I'm not (name) I'm (name she calls herself) it was kinda cute and funny but now I'm struggling with how to move forward! It's not something we have enforced as we still like the name we chose her but it's a funny situation!

[K1mberlylauren]

Hi, I don’t believe anyone should change a name, especially at 4 years old, she will always need an original birth certificate with her birth name on, plus and other birth certificate as you won’t be able to have it on the original one! Plus your girl knows herself as lilly you don’t want to confuse her and mentally scar her when she’s older as she will ask questions, I wouldn’t obsess and move on. X

[Hollywhiskey]

I have a name that was really popular when I was born. There were four girls with that name in my class and seven in the year, including one girl who had the same middle name and same initials.
It doesn't matter at all. One of my best friends has the same name as me.
It's lovely to have a 'normal' name that's easy to spell and easy to recognise say on the phone. It sometimes caused a problem at school when me and another girl with the same name sat at the back next to each other but not really an
Issue.

[babynamelover]

I think it's a natural feeling. Sometimes I wonder if we should have given my youngest the other more uncommon second choice because my eldest has a very uncommon name. But she has grown into her name and I couldn't now imagine her being called anything else, plus they sound like they have always been together as sibling names 😍. I think it does take time for children to grow into their names and it is a huge responsibility naming a person, it's okay to have a wobble and wonder what they would be like if given the other name but it's a daydream nothing more 😃.

[EugenesAxe]

I haven’t, but from experience I know I loved meeting people with my name when I was a child. My best friend had my name; even as an adult I have a sense of affinity with anyone I’m introduced to that has it (totally irrational 😂).

My name is coming back in fashion now and I think it’s really nice hearing it shouted around when I’m out with my children.

I loved books that had characters with my name in them, or dedications.

Exclooosive or very uncommon names are not special in my opinion! They are islands.

[Macmummyofthree]

You have to play the long game. My beautiful 16 yo daughter wants to be peadiatric doctor, so Dr Lily is perfect and will feel familiar to a generation of children. That said, I totally get you - my husband and I actually gave her a rarer first name, of which Lily is a short derivative. I was ridiculously obsessed that all my children's names shouldn't be in the top 100. So if you are begining to regret the choice - is there a longer version of Lily that you like? If you're Christians you could use it on her baptism or as her confirmation name or legally. That way she retains Lily. Personally though, I think you just need to learn to love the name again. Its a great name - law of averages says everyone will have a Lily they love either the flower or a person - she might be the first Lily on the moon, a teacher, an MP.

[riotlady]

Lily is a lovely name! And actually I don’t know any little Lilys, only a Lily-Mae, so you might just have an unusually high concentration in your area

[AnxiousElephant77]

I have an almost 13 year old Alexa. I loved her name and she did too, until Amazon came along and fucked it up for her. When she went into Year 7, she even had teachers teasing her.

I can only hope that sooner or later something else will come along and replace the Amazon Alexa.

[Majestic1]

Lily is a lovely name was the top name we had for a girl, our first was a girl born sleeping its what we called her

[Drybird2020]

Oh I love Lily! It's such a classic it couldn't be boring.

[Whatsyourflava]

Must be the slowest news day ever. Wtf.
Thanks for link.
Lily is a gorgeous name and now with social media it's so much easier for kids just to be known as whatever name they want because they can make it their screen name and it sticks in people's heads. Totally different world

[87Callista]

Lily is a lovely, sweet, feminine name.

Lockdown could be getting to you?

[SmileyCloud]

www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/family/mums-regret-giving-daughter-bland-21944295?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mirror_main

[SmileyCloud]

Just seen this story in the daily mirror Online.. must be a slow news day!

[Anappleaday1]

@KateF Isabella is a beautiful name! I actually think the age of a child affects whether it's viewed as overused, maybe I'm just being odd but a 20 something with a popular name now I wouldn't think of having an overused name, but I might think a new baby did - that might not make any sense!

[Anappleaday1]

I knew it was very popular when we chose it, and did have some reservations about this, but I didn't think it was 'overdone popular' iykwim. Classic popular I have no issue with. My son has a popular name but this doesn't really bother me because I love his name and I don't think it's overdone - despite lots of people sharing his name (although not knowing any others probably helps with this!).

@poodles03 I don't want to change her name now, I don't think this would be fair to her. I also don't like any other versions of Lily. I have considered adding another middle name but would need to involve her at this age and that would open a whole new can of worms! So I just need to find peace with her name, and hope she loves it as that's all that really matters now.

[KateF]

Lily is a lovely name and where I live Lily on it's own is much less used than Lily-May and all its variations. I do understand how you feel about a name being overused. When I named my eldest in 1999 I was told her name was strange/pretentious/old-fashioned etc. now all I read on Mumsnet is how overused and blah it is (her name is Isabella). I still love the name but would probably have chosen something else had I known how popular it would become.

[Umnoway]

I know how you feel OP. I chose a rare name for my 9 year old and it has become popular over the past few years so now it isn’t rare at all. Makes me really sad. Still a beautiful name and suits her well.

[Eskarina1]

One of mine has a name that is just inside the top 200. It's not common. But both at nursery and in his class at school there's been someone with the same name. In nursery their surname was similar too (think Smith / Smythe but less well known). He LOVES it. He and his namesake are inseperable. A bit like the three Clares at my (80s) school.

[Poodles03]

It is unfortunate when names explode in popularity once you've already named your child, assuming you didn't want a popular name.

Lily is pretty and cute, but yes it's very overdone now. Perhaps you could alter it to Lilian? Do you like Lilian?

[Anappleaday1]

@walkingchuckydoll I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you've been through and it puts my 'problem' into perspective. I think you're right about noticing a name more when it's on your radar.

Thank you to all of the other posters for your reassurance. I need to read over this thread when I'm feeling really rubbish about it.

On reflection (of which there has been lots these past few weeks!) I think my main issue with the name is that it wasn't my first choice, and I feel like she didn't really suit Lily but because we couldn't agree on much else we went with it. I think we rushed the decision and if we had of waited, even if we chose the same name then I would have been more at peace with it. It's probably got worse rather than better over the years because now I know we won't have any more I feel sad that I'll never get to name another baby/use my favourite names. I also think that I'm worrying as it being seen as an overused name, which isn't necessarily true for all popular names.

[Marcipex]

My DGD has a name in the top 5, has been in the top five for years, but she’s the only one in her school.
Lily is lovely.

[Fudgewhizz]

I think it's a lovely name. As a teacher I've met a fair few, but never so many I've thought 'not another one!' My DD's name was no.3 in the top 100 and she's actually the only one in her class and bizarrely I've not met any others her age!

[Marcipex]

@2bazookas that’s brilliantly funny 😂