Sister has used my baby name

[Giraffe2706]

I know nobody owns a name but this was my absolute favourite boys name and I was going to call my baby due in 4 weeks this name.

We're not the closet of sisters and don't see each other often (she's a lot younger than me and we didn't grow up together) but being pregnant at the same time everytime we did see each other we would talk baby talk and she definitely knew this was my favourite baby name and I was planning on using it for my ds.

She gave birth yesterday to a lovely little boy and this morning she did a facebook announcement introducing 'Dylan James' DJ for short.... I'm really upset and shocked that she would do this, why why why?

My little boy is called Owen, I think it's a beautiful name

Call him Dylan any way.

Really.

Of course it's a shitty thing to do, I don't understand people who think it isn't!

I like Henry from your early list, and Oscar and Milo from the most recent suggestions.

Others that feel the same, Jasper, Jonty (usualy a nickname for Jonathan), Jago (Cornish version of James I believe), Hugo, Benedict/Ben...

Or do you like more traditional names? Anything in your old family trees?

Or go for Dylan, esp as it doesn't sound like you are all that close. none of your DH's famiy will know the connection, if your parents have split up then their Dylan will only be part of half of your family, it's not that many people who will notice...

(And reading the White Queen earlier in the year I realised that Elizabeth Woodville - the White Queen in question, had a DS with her first DH called Richard and then another with her DH2 - if you can have 2 brothers with exactly the same name, then cousins are no bother!)

I would reply to her fb status and say "am so glad that you think I have such amazing taste given you have chosen the name you knew I was planning to use for my baby. " I agree no-one owns a name but four weeks apart is just spiteful IMO and I would have no qualms in pointing that out even on her fb status.

Littleostrich - my DH also went through the boys name list and said "what would a bully say?" if a name didn't pass the bully test, it got striked off the list!

I wouldn't use the name. I also think it was pretty shabby of her to use a name you had told her you were using for a baby you are pregnant with.

I'd be tempted to say "Oh how nice. You know we liked it ourselves for a while but then went right off it a while back- just didn't feel right"

OP, I can see why you're upset, that's a shitty thing to do - especially the not mentioning it. Sorry, but someone with an ounce of loyalty or care for you would have raised it - 'Are you really set on Dylan, we really want it too' - FGS she MUST have posted that thinking 'oooh wonder what Sis's face is going to look like when she sees the name'. Really, really shitty. You know where you stand with her now, more fool her...

However. You've had a lucky escape, honest. Dylan is ok, but it's just no way up there with a real classic name, or a properly unusual, beautiful name. It's a bit naff really. And yes, I've heard the 'Dildo' thing before too!

Post asking for suggestions. Henry is brilliant - can be Harry for short. Love Oscar and Keir from the ones suggested upthread. How about:

Gregory (Greg) - actually I quite like Grayson, but no good nickname, this could be a slightly better but similar name?
Magnus (Mags)
Oliver (Olly)
Otis
Felix
Edward (Ted, Teddy, Ned for short)

Personally I'd go for Magnus Henry and have him as Mags. That knocks Dylan James into a cocked hat!

I'm afraid I wouldn't be mature enough not to have a slightly catty reply ready if she raises the name thing - 'It's so strange, we'd started having doubts about it, especially when a friend mentioned that the one she knew got called Dildo in the playground! - but you know, it was when we saw it actually written down in your FB announcement that we both thought no, there's just not ENOUGH to that name, you know? Just a bit meh. Oh sorry, you know it is lovely and it really suits your Dylan of course...'

I think people were trying to be comforting rather than dismissive of OP's distress. These things feel like a huge tragedy when you're imminently expecting. That said, they might look at their new little boy and decide he really really looks like a and not a Dylan at all. Giving the "bump" a name in advice is a bit like having a working title for a film IMO.

Pictish, my cat is called Oscar. Masculine he is, but gentle, not so much :D

Call your baby Dylan love. Honestly. It doesn't sound like you are close.

We have 3 Jades in our close family. My brothers wife is called Jade. My niece is called Jade and my step sister is called Jade. No one gets confused as if we need to specify which one we mean we use Big Jade, little Jade and stepfathersname jade.

I think Dylan is a lovely name. My nephew is called Dylan and it really suits him.

Though I would be tempted to phone her and thank her for giving you a good idea for his middle name and doesn't DJ have a lovely ring to it.

Dylan is a great name and if you love it you should go for it. A friend stole my baby name and I ended up using it my daughter's middle name. I still get a bit narked, particularly when people complement my friend on her taste, plus it suits my daughter more than hers.

Like Dylan and James, but DJ for short is awful.

Congratulation her on her baby and name and tell her you had dropped than name from your list any and tell her another name, maybe she'll change it before she registers

i would still call him Dylan. It doesn't sound like you're that close. probably even less so now and if anybody says anything just be honest about your weird sister. No one will think that you are the strange one.

Yep, text her and say, "Just to let you know, I will still be using Dylan, as I've said all along bitch. Up to you to change if you're bothered about them having the same name."

I'd be very upset too, OP. Especially as you've been referring to your son as Dylan so it feels like that's who he is. But once he is born and has another name, he will well and truly become that name for you.

If you're convinced you don't want to still go with Dylan, then here are some other suggestions (my favourite boy names when I was pregnant with DD):

Oscar (Previously suggested, I know - I really love this name)
Sebastian
Dorian
Finlay
Noah
Gabriel
Otto
Lucien
Theodore
Griffin
Gideon

There are so many lovely boy names. I really hope you can find one that you love just as much as Dylan.

If you've been calling your baby Dylan already then Dylan is his name, he had it first and his cousin DJ got it second. If you pick another name you'll always be thinking "but it should have been Dylan" whereas in a few years time people will barely remember that the D in DJ stands for Dylan. Anyway DJ is clearly named after your baby as your sister chose it after hearing it was your choice. If anyone queries why two cousins have the same name just say "you'd have to ask #sister that - it was her choice to use the name she knew we were using and it's a free country. If we'd picked a different one she probably would have hot-footed to the registry office to change DJ's name to that" (you can change a baby's name relatively easily).

I'd also be tempted to write something on the Facebook announcement saying "I knew you liked your nephew's name, but hadn't realised you were scrapping all the names on your list and using it yourself now too. "

Oh god 'dyl' or even worse 'dildo' hadn't even thought of that, I would have hated that!
Had another chat with dp, he's disappointed and upset for me but says it's not the end of the world and we'll come up with another name we both love.
Suggested Oscar to him, he really liked it.. He also still likes the names he came out with before which was Henry, Grayson and Bobby.

I'm old, 50, but to my generation Grason will always be Larry Grayson, (old school v. Camp comedian). Like your other choices though

Well what a cow, I'd choose another name and then when I announced it on faceache I'd say something along the lines

every welcome *** to the world, we were going to chose Dylan but that was stolen by my bitch of a sister who knew I wanted the name but used it anyway.

Bobby is lovely.
Don't use Dylan as a middle name with it though.

Does she have form for trying to upstage you? I think it's pretty rude of her, tbh.

But it sounds like you have found an alternative you like, which is good.

Although if her son is to be known as DJ, you could have got away with still calling yours Dylan, known as Dylan.

It's not a name I like, though - I always think of Dylan the rabbit in the Magic Roundabout. And I know a little girl called Dylan now too.

Oscar is lovely. :)

How about Rubén or Isaac?
Nice boys nanes

It is just mean , and hard to understand .

I'd not comment to anyone because then you and DH have time to sit with this and decide whether or not you still want to use Dylan.

But if you do decide to change it. DON'T TELL the new name. She has six weeks to register her baby . If she's stolen your name once......