Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

[LittlePoot]

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

Oh Mimsy, you made me laugh! I'm sorry to hear there is some confusion about what is or isn't there though... are you still to get a biopsy or does this latest appointment take precedence? I meant to say I've finally got a date for Josie's heart scan at the end of Sept (apparently the consultant only works on a Thursday morning, lucky for some), the wheels of the NHS are very slow... so if you do have to have a biopsy I hope the wait isn't too long.

Right - off to bed now, finally! xxx

Katiecubs
Wow, wow, wow,after all that you have been through and look at you and look at baby Felix. He is just so very new and gorgeous and perfect. Congratulations my dear to you and to your hubbie.
Ps; you are gorgeous too; you remind me of Stacey from Gavin and Stacey, who I think is one hot mama by the way.
So pleased for you honey. So pleased.
Bee xxx

A massive CONGRATULATIONS katiecubs to you and dp on the birth of baby Felix (love the name!). He is soooo cute and gorgeous. I'm just so pleased you came through this and have a beautiful baby to hold and cuddle! Sorry to hear that the birth was difficult but hope you're recovering well now.

Having bf fairly easily with my first DSs, I had problems with DD and second what cant said about giving nipple shields a go if it gets really difficult. I stopped using them once she got a bit stronger and she fed just fine without them. It was actually difficult to get her to stop then!

I can't tell you how delighted I am to have this news! I shall go to bed with a big grin on my face tonight. (((((hugs))))) and xxxxx to you and baby Felix!

Congratulations Katie, he's gorgeous. I love the name too, very cute. One I have considered myself as well.

Lovely news. Enjoy! xxx

Coffee, your scan sounds encouraging. I've got my fingers crossed for you for the combined results but it all sounds good so far.

Hi everyone, must be quick as have people looking through house soon (it's up for sale).

Just had to say a huge congratulations to Katie on gorgeous little Felix! Thanks so much for sharing photos. He's beautiful, as are you (I happen to think you look like a blonde Sophie Ellis Bexter). I'm with Cant and Numpty re: newborn envy - such a beautiful time. It goes so quick, I'd say treasure every moment, though I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. Congrats again xx

Coffee, great news on the scan. Bella's NT was 3.0mm and I immediately thought the worst (NT up to 3.0 is considered normal here). Even though they said everything else on the scan looked good, I was sure they were only trying to falsely reassure me. Turns out they weren't.. Bella also tended to sleep through many of her scans (I had lots). So although, yes, you will probably always find something to worry about (understandbly), I think your scan results sound great xx

Mimsy, maybe the lesion was associated with pregnancy hormones? I know you can get all types of lumps and bumps when pregnant, and not just in the breasts. Will it be family from Oz you have coming? Enjoy xx

Must dash next door before I madly run around tidying up. Hello and love to everyone else xx

PS. Allstars, in case you get a chance to read, hoping all is well with you and LittleStar xxx

Thank you so much everyone for all your lovely comments - i have gotten all emotional reading them. These threads have been such a lifeline to me through the dark days, the worry and the hope and i don't know what i would have done without them - i just want to say a huge THANK YOU right from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you.

More than anything i am hoping and praying to hear of all your happy endings too xxxxx

p.s Thanks for the breast feeding advice, i will give all the tips a go!

p.p.s i have got both the Joanna Page and Sophie Ellis-Bexter thing before. Particularly with Sophie, people have actually shouted it at me in the street!

Katie - congratulations, such fantastic news!!! What a gorgeous-looking family you all make. So pleased to hear that you are now home with Felix, enjoy every minute. My little man is 11 weeks today and is currently on his playmat grinning away at himself in the mirror - they stay newborn for so little time so really do cherish these early weeks. I'm so pleased that you have your happy ending.

K xx

PS I second Can't about using nipple shields if you have trouble getting Felix to latch on - it took me 8 days before a wonderful midwife recommended trying them and within a few days, we had everything sorted.

Hi ladies, very quick post just to say that I got a call from the midwife and my combined screening result is 1:9400. So I am a bit relieved, but at the same time I can?t help comparing this with my previous result, which was 1:36.000, so significantly lower. I think there isn?t really much point now in going for a second opinion, as I doubt the results could vary so much as to make us decide to have an invasive test. I just need to get a bit of perspective and realise that, actually, this is a good result, and this is a different pregnancy, with its own odds.

I?ll write more tonight. xxxx

Hey Coffee. Firstly I think that's a good result. It must be about a 0.01% risk. And I guess you weigh that against a 1% risk or thereabouts of miscarriage with an invasive test.

But that's the Rational Rachel talking! Real Rachel knows it's so so so hard trying to make sense of everything, especially numbers, at a time when you're emotionally so fragile because it's so impossible not to make comparisons with "last time". You sound very wise and rational though!

I am still waiting for my combined screening result and I am inevitably nervous. But when I reflect on it and worry about what I will do if the risk is high I remember I had an invasive test last time and the CVS was clear, but there was still a problem .... tests can only tell you and help you so much. I think after a certain point all we can do is carry on hoping and hoping and hoping for the best.

You are right Rachel, all we would actually need now is for someone to tell us for sure that our babies are ok. And of course, this is not possible, so there is this horrible fear, tinged with the hope that it can't always be bad luck...

When are your full results due back? I have to say I am impressed with my local hospital, I actually had the letter in the post today, so they were quick. Will someone call you anyway to let you know the odds before you receive them in the post? I have to say that with a NT of 0.6mm things look very good. But of course, you know this already, it's just that no matter what we know we still worry ourselves sick.

As for me sounding wise and rational, I can assure you I am neither... I am actually an emotional, paranoid wreck and am driving my poor dh crazy with all my worries and what ifs. But I seem to be someone different when writing things down, it helps me so much, it seems to clear my head. And then of course, knowing that everyone in here understands makes me feel safe.

Mishta, how are the viewings going? Maybe the only chance of cleaning my house would be to put it up for sale too...it's a pigsty at the moment.

Mimsy, although it's excellent news about the lesion disappearing, it's so annoying though that you had to go through all this worry. What happen next, will you see someone else? And I haven't heard any scream down here in the South...

Kittens, you must be so anxious in the run-up to the appointment... only 2 more days to go, isn't it? I hope you are busy and they pass quickly.

Little Poot and Drama, how are you? Hello to Cantdo as well.

Right, I'd better go and do some work now, although I feel quite chatty this morning and it's much nicer to spend the time with you ladies...xxxx

Coffee, that's a great result! Brilliant!

Mimsy, I second Coffee. Great that they don't seem to be able to find anything now, but annoying worrying and waiting to have the biopsy. Was it a different person looking this time? Might be worth getting another look from someone else just to be sure. Will you start TTC then now? Or are you still going to wait a while?

I was laughing at Coffee's comment about selling the house being the only way to ensure the house gets tidied. Much to the dismay of my partner, I am rather untidy. I do have clients to the house from time to time to have their make up trials for their weddings and that's a sure fire way to get me to tidy and clean. We are also looking for a lodger at the moment which has the same effect. The area under our stairs was looking like a tip until the cat went under there and did a wee and although that was seriously annoying and stinky, under the stairs looks tidier than it has in months!

I am like a cat on a hot tin roof at the moment, waiting for friday's revelations (or lack thereof, possibly). Work has been characteristically quiet this month due to everyone buggering off for the school holidays etc but I've been kept busy with seeing family, friends etc and OH is similarly quiet so we've been trying to keep ourselves busy together. Typically, after a quiet month I have a monumentally busy week starting on Saturday and ending the following Saturday. When I say typically, I mean, that is obviously my first fertile week after m/c and tests and I will probably be so tired. It does bring to mind that old adolescent joke "Do you fancy a shag?" "No, not really." "Well, do you mind lying down while I have one?" That's probably what it'll be like round here next week provided I don't get told anything too scary on Friday.

Rachael, have you got your combined test results back yet?

I was thinking of Katie last week when we completed the sale of my granny's house in Hove. The family who were moving in were just about to have a baby. I was a baby in that house too! Very strange saying goodbye to the house, so many memories from every year of my 40 year life.

Mimsy, got the mirror out yet?! Seriously good news that the lesion disappeared. Maybe first doc was seeing things...? Have fun with the family.

Kittens, GOOD LUCK for Friday. I hope you get a straight all-clear to keep trying. I'm sure you will - genetic issues are pretty rare I think.

Good results Coffee. Know how you feel. Mine were the same as yours were with Silvia, and I was half-relieved, and half 'well ok but I could still be the 1 in 36000'. But it's a good start anyway.

Rachel, your results must be good or they'd have rung you. Annoying they are taking ages to give you the figure, though...

Oh katie!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Felix is a really handsome little fella and what a fab name and may i say how stunning you look! in pics of me up untill about a month after DS1's birth i look completely out of it lol, you shall have to let me in on your secret.
I was also going to suggest nipple sheilds they really are a god-send for sore nips, i also found the old cabbage leafs worked a treat as well two savoy cabbage leafs straight from the fridge down your bra, it's not glam or sexy but it bloody works .

Gina very happy their doing another series of 'one born..' i love seeing what goes on behind the scenes! how's your nail btw?

Right i better go and get dressed before my shopping gets delivered or the sainsburys man will get an eyefull! back later massive hugs for katie and lots of hugs and kisses for little Felix
XxDMxX

Hello all, I wonder if I could join your thread? Littlepoot kindly invited me over from another thread. I recognise some names already but not all. For those who don't already know my short history is:

About 4 weeks ago DH and I finally decided to start TTC. Given that I have a mild congential limb abnormality and despite that fact I'd always been told it was a one off and not hereditary, I asked for a referral to a genetics sepecialist.

Last week we saw the specialist and I was devastated to be told that in her opinion (since backed-up by her colleagues) any future pregancy I have carries a 50:50 risk (they think) of abnormailites and they can't say how severe they may be.

This week I found out I am pregnant. Though it's very early days so anything could happen. It's terrifying, but very exciting nevetheless The genetics service are trying to rush through my blood test results (may take 4 weeks or three months depending on the analysis they have to do). They are not confident they will find the 'spelling mistake'. If they do, and assuming the bean sticks, they can offer my CVS or amnio to see if the abnormality has been passed on (though they still won't be able to say how severely it has expressed itself in the baby). If they can't identify the spelling mistake, we just have to rely on whatever they can see on scans from about 20 weeks.

So now you know about as much about me as I do!! Sorry the intro wasn't as short as I planned! :)

Wombat - congratulations, although I know this is also a time of mixed emotions in case anything happens. I'm glad you are getting good support from the specialists and I really hope things go well for you. The journey will be difficult but you'll get a lot of support and understanding here

Kittens - wishing you well with the miracle man tomorrow, and hoping your OH can be a miracle man next week esp if you're that tired!!

No news of Gooldy? and also thinking of Allstars and hoping that Frank is OK...

Brief post as am away from home. xx

hi everyone,
this is going to be quick as have family visiting (the Italian cousins + 3 kids are here til end August) and grabbing a few minutes on MN in between trying to find another holiday on the internet ...
... because that freaking travel company that just went bust ...
... was supposed to be taking us to Turkey in less than 3 weeks!!! So I'm trying to find an alternative but it's proving to be difficult.

Fanjo mirror news - I did indeed have a look and it was pretty grim. Cue major depression rather than screaming! When DS was born I pushed fruitlessly for 2 hours before having epis and forceps, if that gives you some idea of the carnage. Anyway, all I could see is my very fine epis scar, so perhaps you and the doc are right MISHTABEL, and it is just hormone related.

I asked my Dad (who conveniently for me is an O&G, but who is inconveniently located in Oz (not that I would be showing him my undercarriage anyway)) and he was a bit ... Hmm, makes you wonder what the first doc saw. Indeed. But anyway, I am happy for now. Too busy with other things to worry about it.

Other news, I had a mammogram today (screening one due to family history), and WOW was that an experience! I have had one before but I don't remember it being quite like this one! Contortionist moves and much pressure applied. This is a bit TMI, but the plates squeezed so hard, when I was getting dressed later, I noticed there was a drop of serous fluid on each nipple!

Anyway, my not so short post has grown long, and my guests are calling for me.

Love to all and welcome WOMBAT - are you another Aussie with that name? x

Hi all, must (try to be) be brief as leaving for Melbourne in the morning and haven't even started packing.

Kittens - good luck for today. Hope you then find the energy that ttc entails! Btw, our cat peed in my daughters bedside drawer a while ago - and I had been after her for ages before that to sort her drawers out. Problem solved. Seriously, would have been angry at the cat but she's prone to seizures so gave her the benefit of the doubt. Again, good luck xx

Welcome Wombat, congratulations! I have also been meaning to ask if you were from Oz. Good luck with your pregnancy. It's probably a good thing that it has happened now - takes away all that should I/shouldn't thinking that you were doing (if I understood correctly).

Allstars, no pressure, but would love to hear how little Frank is. You know we all consider ourselves
honourary aunties around here xx

Katie, kisses for little Felix. Hope the bf is sorting itself out xx

Coffee, what fantastic results.
We actually sold our house last oct/nov, and are renting this one til our home is built. As we sold the first one the very day it went on the market, I thought I had escaped all the hard work of keeping a house perfect for viewings. But as this one is also for sale, sadly not. At least the girls actually tidy their room when I tell them someone is having a look (the only time they actually do). Think I will have to make out to them that our new home is on the market too. Work on our new home actually started yesterday, escavating the land - v.excited about that

Can't, bf here all good, besides the fact that Bella is still, at 7 months, having 2 feeds during the night, which the baby nurse firmly assures me she does not need. Is BabyCant still nocturnal?

Mimsy, so brave with that mirror! Bugger about your holidays (is 'bugger' too rude a word in the UK?) Good luck with rebooking. Do you get your money back?

Really must go, but a big hello to everyone else; kiss to BabyJ Numpty; and to your liitle man Shangrila if you're around; Rachel, hope you're combined results are through soon; Gina - OUCH re fingernail; and Drama I hope you got dressed in time, save the delivery guys fighting over who gets to deliver to you in the future

Love to all xxx

PS the bugger comment reminded me of when Bella was little and ill. I used to say to her 'you poor little bugger'. One day my 13yr DD asked me why I called Bella a bugger, as 'Doesn't bugger mean lesbian?' I had to laugh - she must have thought I was saying to Bella 'you poor little lesbian'

Hello ladies, and thank you for lifting my spirits with your jokes. And welcome Wombat, what mixed emotions for you. I will say gentle congratulations, even if as you say it's very early days. It is great news and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that it will all go well. The wait is absolutely awful, but it's a little bit easier when you are in here.

Kittens, I hope the miracle man will give you encouraging news. And good luck next week (to your dp as well)

So instead of putting my house on the market I should just get a cat... not sure this would be the best idea though, as we've recently had new carpets fitted. It might be easier to just tidy up, but with MN and (lately) this pregnancy-induced exhaustion, I've had a good excuse to just be lazy.

Mimsy, good luck with finding a holiday. I am glad that at least the lesion seems to have disappeared.

As for me, as I said you did lift my spirits a little, but I'm not in a very good place at the moment. How the hell do I get through the next 5 weeks until the scan? All of a sudden, I'm feeling very discouraged and pessimistic. This is in a way a coping mechanism, as I'm terrified that things will go wrong again, and my mind stupidly tells me that it would be easier not to believe in a happy outcome - as if this would make it easier to bear if it all happens again. Which probably isn't true and I should just try to enjoy as much as possible the next few weeks/months, as it might be all I have with this baby. Sorry if this sounds really morbid. I feel like I'm not giving this baby any chance. And also, is my anxiety affecting this little one? Surely it's not the best environment for him in there at the moment...

Anyway, I sound like a moaner, maybe I'll manage to find a more positive outlook in the next few days. Dh is brilliant, he's always so supportive, he just tells me we need to believe that this little one will be ok and we'll take him/her home with us, that this hope is all we have and the only way we can get through this all. I know he is right, but I am just not so brave.

This turned into a me, me , me post, which was not my intention. You have all been through the same and got through it all, so I will somehow do it too. Ijust feel better for writing it all down.

Morning all. Thank you for the lovely welcome. I'm afraid to disappoint, but i'm not an Aussie. DH worked out there for a while and it sort of became a pet name

I haven't yet had the chance to go back through all your posts, so I don't yet know your stories - forgive me for the lack of personal comments.

coffee I know exactly what you mean about thinkming the worst/preparing yourself for it vs getting excited. I feel exactly the same and keep vascillating between the two extremes. I think you're right though - if things go wrong it will still be hard, so there is sence in trying to get as much enjoyment as possible while you can. Hugs to you.

Wombat - I'm a 'graduate' of this thread, having lost a baby girl to Patau's syndrome (T13) at 15wks last summer. I was here at the start along with Katiecubs, Cant, Allstars, Mishtabel and Shangrila and we all now have babies having been through the fears of scans. Baby J is now 7 weeks old, and starting to coo - she is SUCH a cutie! Am trying not to fuss over her too much in case I make DS jealous though... he's still a cutie too but a much bigger one, 3 years old next week.

Coffee, for what it's worth I found the run up to the later scans more worrying than going for the nuchal scan; again I can only suggest you try and focus on each day going past, rather than counting down to a deadline. Did you get any books or films to distract yourself with? Or get out into the fresh air (or rain, it's monsoon weather here in the north).

Mishtabel, can't believe Bella is already 7mo! DS had 2 feeds for ages, in fact only dropped his final night feed around 14mo because we threatened him with controlled crying - were going to try it the very weekend he spotaneously stopped . When do you have to go back to work? I'll be heading back after 9 months, plus hols... dreading the thought already though. Plus we'll probably need to move house before then. It's rotten having to live in a house at the same time as showing it off to potential buyers; when I was little we were in that position, renting a house that then got put on the market and I hate to say we pointed out all the problem features such as the damp behind the washing machine... .

Mimsy - could you describe your nether regions as just being a little more 'frilly'? What a nuisance re the hols, I do hope you get something else. Hope the cousins have a nice time visiting.

Think I'd better go, it's all gone quiet downstairs... ?? xx

Hello, I'm back! So, here's the story so far...

No chromosome issues with OH or myself (phew!) apart from the standard old age/bad luck scenario.

FSH slightly lower than ideal, again, due to my age, which slightly increases the risk of miscarriage.

Antithrombin III deficiency which is a blood clotting disorder. There hasn't been much in the way of clinical trials with this one so I have been referred to a blood specialist to see what should be done but from what I've read on the internet (didn't take me long!) so far this could be the problem.

I am still waiting for results for the MTHFR test, which is the most common blood problem that seems to crop up in pregnancy and has had the most clinical trials results and has been proven to be something that can quite successfully be overcome with asprin and heparin. The results of this test seem to have been pending for a lot of patients over the last couple of weeks apparently so they are just waiting for those to come back. MTHFR I find the easiest to remember because rather appropriately the initials in that order when filled in with the relevant other letters spell out the word (excuse my language) Motherf*er!

The consultant, who was not the 'miracle man', but his registrar seemed to think that taking asprin through my next pregnancy was a good idea on the basis that it can't do any harm and my help. More specific treatment will be discussed at my blood appointment on 5 September.

I will hold off on TTC 'til next cycle so that I can make sure the pregnancy is treated right from the offset and also because I have a bad back at the moment and can't do any shagging erm, I mean, I need a few weeks of physio treatment which I would have to stop if I were pregnant.

Sorry, bit of a me post! Need to get back to working out my schedule for next week's shoot. It's nothing massively exciting but I am pleased to read on the call sheet the mention of "stunt dogs" . Probably won't get on here much until next month now, completely mental 8 days long working days ahead of me.

Quick welcome to Wombat. Congratulations on your pregnancy. We will all be here to hold your hand or be a sounding board.

All the best to everyone else. x

Really really really hoping that all is well with Littlestars.

BTW, Mishtabel, Bugger isn't considered such a rude word here. It always amuses me that bugger is deemed so much less shocking than f* but when the actual act of each word is considered it would really be the other way around, surely?

f'ing blimey, just been reading more about AT III deficiency. Sounds rather scary, regardless of pregnancy. Maybe I only have a slight deficiency (crosses fingers some more).

Kittens - put Google away! You'll always find out about the worst-case scenarios that way, and worry yourself silly. I know it's hard to do when the potential problem has been discovered, but as you say perhaps you only have a slight deficiency. Also, once a problem is identified then hopefully a course of action can also be identified. I guess there may be people who have this 'deficiency' for whom it never comes to light because it IS milder - so you'd only get info on those for whom the problem has been identified for one reason or another.

Anyway, it does give you something to go on, and 5 Sept is soon enough (surprised the hospital give appointments on a Sunday though, I always assumed the weekends were non-appointment days for some reason). And it sounds as though the next week will be busy enough to hopefully keep your mind off it. I imagine 'stunt dogs' to be Lara-Croft type dobermans but equally I guess they could be pomeranians who just have to perform to a command... let us know which you get!