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support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities

1000 replies

katiecubs · 11/01/2010 13:33

Hi girls - i hope this becomes a useful area

OP posts:
Havingkittens · 10/06/2010 20:20

Oh dear, looks like a bad day for a few of us today. We are like hormonal bookends, 2 of us all in a state at the beginning of pregnancy and one coming to the end of hers. All very overwhelming! Hardly surprising we're all a bit tearful.

I do hope you manage to get some good sleep and early nights soon Numpty, you're going to need to stockpile!

I do hope Katie has had some success in her flat viewing this week too.

Cantdothisagain · 10/06/2010 21:02

This feels like the thread of stress today... hope you're all okay. Totally identify with first trimester terror (actually last time had it in second trimester too...) - it's just marking time from one scan to the next. Hope Kittens and LittleP are coping; thinking of you.

Numpty, I had all that angst as well. Your DS will be okay. You will be okay. DD1 still has her moments with her little sister but she loves her too.

Katie, good luck with the house.

Sending calming vibes across the ether... this thread deserves good luck...

Crazycatlady · 10/06/2010 21:24

Oh, sorry to hear about all the hormonal-ness and stress.

LP, glad to hear you're doing ok, hope staying busy helps the days until your scan pass without too much angst.

kittens you're lucky your cats let you sleep until 6.30. Ours have been waking at 4.20 with the sunrise, and thundering around the house until they eventually wake DD (6ish) as they now know this is the only thing that gets us out of bed!

numpty it's so exhausting when toddlers decide to have a stroppy day. Must be doubly so while PG. Hope you're tucked up in bed now getting some zzzz's...

Cant you are right, this thread does deserve some good luck

Katie, how is the house search coming along, any joy?

I'm feeling rather sorry for myself today with a really horrid cough and generally feeling bleurgh and under the weather. Really really tired too. DH is babysitting for friends tonight so I have vegged on the sofa with a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea. Bliss.

LittlePoot · 11/06/2010 09:21

God I love you guys. We're pretty much all feeling crap, but we're all looking out for each other and sharing the load anyway. One day we really should all get together for a party - Katie's house-warming perhaps?! I just don't know what I'd do without you. xx

Mishtabel · 12/06/2010 14:32

Just quickly dropping in to say hi girls. Litlepoot, like Cant, I too had period like cramps in early pregnancy with each of my girls - so much so that I didn't test for ages with my first pregnancy because each day I thought period was definately about to start. Hope the days pass quickly for you and Kittens xx

Numpty and Cant, hope you're both able to get some sleep - it makes such a difference. Numpty I remember that hormonal tearfulness well , hope you're feeling better xx

Hope you're feeling better Crazycat. I think the stress from all this really takes a toll on the immune system. Take care xx

Just realised how much I say 'hope' (think I remember you said the same about yourself once Numpty?)

Trying to think of a way to tell Katie that I hope her househunting is coming along, without actually saying the word, but it's late and I'm tired and can't think - all the best anyway Katie (if you have time to read) xx

Love to everyone else xxx

PS: hi to Shangrila - I meant to say ages ago; 22lb is very impressive! Last week Bella weighed 6kg, which I'm not sure off the top of my head how much that is in pounds, but I know it's no where near 22. Hope all is well with you and yours xxx

Love to you all xxx

NumptyMum · 13/06/2010 20:31

Really hoping (yes, hard to avoid saying that word on here, Mishtabel!) that Katie has had some success with flat-hunting, or that a Plan B presents itself pronto... also hoping that Kittens and LittlePoot have had good weekends, full of nice distractions and no headaches.

Crazycatlady, did you get some rest and TLC this weekend? The bacon butty sounded like a great start. Sympathies re early-rising cats, other than early springtime ours has been very lazy (he's almost 9yrs old though). He does have a very good line in annoying miaows when required.

Mimsy - did you have a good trip away? The weather has been lovely, a chance for your folks to see the country at its best... even if it gives them a misleading impression of life in the wet west

Can't and Mishtabel, lovely to hear from you; lots of love to Babycant and Bella, and also to Lins and Franklin and Shangrila and Baby Shangrila.

Also thinking of others who are TTC and nervously facing the times ahead...

We've had a busy but good weekend although DS has continued to be fractious. Someone at playgroup helpfully told me that her older daughter really got problematic when she was 3yrs - and there was me thinking the terrible 2s hadn't been so bad; DS is 3 at end Aug. However he still has his lovely moments, I just need to be alert enough for quick-thinking distractions from potential troubles/points of contention. He's so contrary just now, nearly anything I ask him to do he goes the opposite way... and my brain isn't very alert just now. Glad I've got my 'days off' to recharge at the start of the week!

Finally, love to Peanut; thinking of you and wishing you healing and peace (as much as that is possible) during your time away. xx

katiecubs · 13/06/2010 21:51

Evening everybody - thank you so much for thinking of my house hunting and sending good luck vibes my way! I'm incredibly relieved to say we have found somewhere great!

I was about to lose the will to live after seeing so many horrible places for so much money when i struck gold and bagged a lovely garden flat which is being newly converted and will be ready in 3 weeks! Its so much more than i could have hoped for and i was very lucky to get it - i literally hot footed it over to hove to get the first viewing and put the deposit down after about 2 minutes. Needless to say it's a huge weight off my mind.

Sorry to hear it's been a hard week for many of you. LP and Kittens i feel so much for both of you as i remember too well the horrible feeling of being in pre scan limbo, all i can do is hope that the time passes as quickly as possible. LP your last message brought a tear to my eye (Numpty am also feeling increasingly hormonal!) i totally agree and it would be lovely if we could arrange a meet up at some point - you are always welcome at mine!

Numpty lovely that you have finished up at work but sorry to hear DS is being a little trying - perhaps he is sensing the impending changes?!

Lets hope this week brings a little more sunshine and peace to us all.

Katie xxx

p.s hope you are feeling a bit better Crazycat!

OP posts:
NumptyMum · 13/06/2010 21:58

YAY Katie! So relieved for you. Not even read all of your post, just wanted to say Hoorah!! No need for you to book into a stable to give birth, then...

shangrila · 13/06/2010 22:05

Flying in and out but quick hurrah to katie for your great news. And waves to numpty too if you're still around - get some sleep, girl!

NumptyMum · 13/06/2010 22:12

and yes, I think DS IS getting the idea that there will be a baby soon, and yes that probably is a cause for his tricky behaviour. It's really difficult to get across that YES there will be changes (and DH has already pointed out that he will prob be v jealous of new baby getting to sleep upstairs by Mummy and Daddy, where he's not allowed to go) but that we will always love him, he will always be my first baby. He keeps making references to 'baby DS' (ie his name) when seeing pictures of himself. Trouble is, when I try and talk to him about it he doesn't appear to listen eg telling him things that he can do that the baby won't be able to do, to show him there are advantages to being older. Such as being swung upside down. (for fun, honest!).

Hopefully over the next couple of weeks it will get better, otherwise we're in for a steep adjustment...

NumptyMum · 13/06/2010 22:14

Night night Shangrila
Hope you don't get the storms in Wales... or if you do, that they are fun storms rather than scary ones.

Havingkittens · 14/06/2010 11:42

Haha, all us hormonal ladies better make sure we don't short out our keyboards with all these tears! Then where will we be? I've been ridiculous. I just randomly burst in to tears on a fairly regular basis at the moment!

Katie, so pleased to hear you've found your 'nest'. That must be a massive relief. I was thinking of you yesterday whilst visiting friends in Preson Park. It feels so strange. They are about to move to another part of town and my grandma should be exchanging on her house in the next few weeks so I won't have any reason to visit the area that has been such a big part of my life anymore. What part of Hove are you moving to? Will you be near the sea? We were a bit further up by Hove park.

Mishta, I think 6kg is 14lb (which is a stone) - I know this because it's now much my cat weighed before I put him on a diet!

Numpty, yes, I think your little man is testing you and trying to make sure he stays high up in your attentions. It's only natural that there will be some insecurity, jealousy and competition but hopefully he will settle when he gets used to having a sibling. I can't offer any words of wisdom I'm afraid as not very experienced in these matters.

Catlady, I hope you're feeling better and more cheerful.

LittlePoot, how many weeks will you be at your scan? It's next Saturday right? I hope you have lots to keep you busy this week. Are you feeling ok? I have had a few crampy feelings this week. I'm trying to look on it as a good thing, after all, I was only on here the other week complaining that I wasn't feeling and 'stretchy/crampy' feelings. There's always something to spook us isn't there? My family and a could of close friends that I've told have been asking me how I'm feeling symptom wise and I've been telling them that you can't really read anything into anything as there doesn't seem to be any way of second guessing whether you have symptoms or not. Now I just have to convince myself of that!

My scan is on Wednesday at 5pm so not too long to go. The timing is bloody awful though this last week. My boyfriend's mum has just had a knee replacement so he is taking turns with his other siblings in staying the night over there to look after her (which is admirable, of course), then there's the World Cup and also he is just coming to the end of a tutor training course this week where he has a lesson to present on Thursday so he really hasn't got much time for me in the lead up to the scan. To be fair, it's really just the big England matches that he's out for but those seem to inconveniently be on the days in between all the other stuff he's got to do. Needless to say I was feeling a bit deserted and miserable this weekend as a result of not really getting to see him 'til yesterday, especially with how tense and vulnerable I've been feeling. But none of it is really his fault so it's not fair for me to be stroppy with him.

Mimsy, I missed that you were going away. Where have you been? I hope it was a good trip.

Hi Shangrila, I hope your back's holding up ok. I'm quite weedy and I'm already wondering how I would be able to carry a little one once it gets over 20lb. (although, in the words of my other half, "first catch your rabbit"!)

How are all our new members doing? I'm sorry we have all been rather self absorbed this last week. I guess some tricky times for some of us but I am conscious of the fact that there have been a few people come on to say hi and then not come back and I hope it's not because it feels 'cliquey' or anything like that. We are always pleased that the thread group is expanding. We all started off in the same painful place unfortunately and are making the tentative steps of moving forward and trying again. There is no other place like here to share our anxieties/progress/hope and be inspired by some of the members of the thread who have shown us that there really can be hope when all seems lost. I have been on other birthclub/antenatal group threads (mostly just lurking) but this is where I feel most at home where we can all relate to one another and I hope that you all will feel at home here too.

LittlePoot · 14/06/2010 14:03

Oh Katie - that's fantastic news! Well done you. I guess as it's a 'garden flat' it's the downstairs of one of those gorgeous big white townhouses all over Brighton and Hove? I used to have the middle floor of one and while it was fabulous to have the huge bay window at the front, I did look down longingly at the garden..... Anyway, hope all goes smoothly for the move in 3 weeks. And not a moment too soon!

And Numpty - you must be counting down the days (hours?!). I hope you have an easier week this week. I agree with the others that this seems like your DS is sensing the disruption and asserting himself in the meantime. I'm sure all will be well. Am getting very excited for you.

Kittens - I will (by the ovulation sticks and the fact I felt the egg 'pop') be seven weeks exactly on Saturday for the scan. If this one is playing along anyway. I'm a textbook full of symptoms - emotional, hungry, nauseous, indigestion, tired etc. etc. But I'm not really very reassured by all that. I just need to see whether it's ok or not, and then maybe I'll start to 'enjoy' the fact that I feel like poop. I can't help feeling that I'm just going through this first trimester yet again for nothing though - even if it is ok on Saturday then I'll just start worrying about the chromosomes again.

Sorry - this is probably doing nothing to reassure you either and you're already nearly at the scan! How far do they reckon you'll be by then? I have everything crossed for you.

Anyway, I'm trying to keep busy so I really should get back to work. Hope all's well with everyone else. xxx

shangrila · 14/06/2010 14:42

Best of the best to kittens and LittlePoot for your forthcoming scans. Will be great to get them out of the way. I'll be dipping in constantly over the next week to see how you get on.

Love to everyone else xx

shangrila · 14/06/2010 14:45

PS Numpty, we never, never have bad weather here in Costa del Cardiff. It is a permanent balmy 30 degrees, don't you know!

NumptyMum · 14/06/2010 14:55

Shangrila - I imagine your weather is a bit like it is here in Glasvegas, then! However today is sunny cloudy as opposed to cloudy cloudy or cloudy rainy...

Kittens and LP I've got my fingers crossed for your scans this week. xx

Havingkittens · 14/06/2010 14:56

LP, I will be somewhere around 8 weeks. The last one he said I measured "around 5 weeks, not even 6" which was quite vague, but then by my reckoning - LMP + egg popping sensation I thought I was 7 weeks. I'm hoping he'll be able to give me a bit more of a pinpoint idea. It would be nice to know an EDD (if I ever see such a thing!) It's mad because I've known about the pregnancy for nearly 6 weeks so I feel like it's been forever already in terms of early scans.

I don't feel in the slightest bit sick and my boobs were only sore and lumpy for a couple of days before reverting back to normal (well, normal with various randomly placed very attractive spots!), but have been super thirsty, tiredness came back, irrationally emotional, massive lower back pain if I walk for more than an hour and now what seems like a heightened sense of smell and bunged up sinuses. Once, touch wood, I see that all is ok on my scan I shall be grateful for not feeling sick. Now I'm mostly paranoid! Mind you, I didn't feel that sick in my first pregnancy either (although that ended at 8wks).

MimsyStarr · 14/06/2010 21:03

Hi everyone, Just a quick post to say Hi. We got back from a 5 day trip up the west coast today. Had a great time but crap weather (until this morning - typical!). We are going to a warmer country for a bit more holiday on Wednesday.

I haven't read back through the thread to see the recent posts yet ... I just wanted to post this now so you know I am thinking of you all, in case I get dragged away... back soon I hope!

MimsyStarr · 14/06/2010 22:04

Right, so, I think I am up-to-date now....

LittlePoot and Kittens, glad things are still going well for you two. I will be thinking of you on Wed/Sat scan days. I hope the hormonal rollercoaster is kind to you both until then.

Kittens, thanks for recommending that website for ov/preg sticks - they were indeed quick and cheap and I am hoping they sent me the extra special sticks that grow babies. I will be preg testing in Italy, so wish me luck.

Numptymum, sorry DS is giving you a hard time. Wish I was around the next couple of weeks help with distraction. If it is any solace, DS is also starting up with some new behaviours, namely massive strops where he throws himself to the ground/toys across the room/food is launched into the air. I think disruption is a big part of it - now that Mum and Dad are here, he no longer has my undivided attention. I hope things get better with your DS. at him swinging upside down!! Don't they just love that?

Katiecubs - what a relief. And it is lovely to have a garden flat - they are the best. I miss having our own garden.

Mishtbel - glad to hear Bella is doing well. Is it getting cold there? My Mum and Dad are here at the moment from Oz, and they are finding it cold here. Every time we leave the house, they are shocked that I am not taking a coat! It's great to have them here, sort of unbelievable really. They are not great travellers, so I never expected them to come this far.
p.s. I am munching on a Cherry Ripe at the moment, Mum brought half a kilo with her!!!

Windowbox update:
Lettuce is flourishing, just in time for us going away . Radishes are being munched by something, very puzzling. My rocket failed to take off - why that wouldn't grow when the lettuce is loving the conditions, I don't know. Anyway, it will all be dead when we come back from Italy, so why am I bothering! How are all the other gardeners getting on??

Havingkittens · 15/06/2010 09:13

Our veggies didn't fare too well against the slugs, we have one tomato plant left which has just started to flower, quite a few strawberries coming out at the moment, a very crowded pot of carrots as we couldn't find anywhere to put them once they were ready to move. Same happened with the onions but they didn't even make it past the seedling stage. The herbs are doing ok but I have to admit that half of them started life in the supermarket anyway!

One thing that is making me very happy in my garden is that my peonies are coming out. I moved them after we had been here a year as I'd read they didn't grow well with hydrangeas, which is where they were planted, and they have taken 5 years to get to flowering. Last year I had one solitary bloom. Looks like 5 this year. I love peonies!

katiecubs · 15/06/2010 14:09

Thanks everybody for your congrats! The flat is about 10 mins from hove station on the beach side - only a few minutes walk from the sea

Mimsy glad you had a lovely break even if the weather was a bit crap - forecast is looking good for the next few days though!

Kittens will be on the bench at 5pm tomorrow keeping everything crossed for you, same with you on Saturday LP xxx

OP posts:
Havingkittens · 15/06/2010 16:07

Thanks Katie. I have "THE FEAR"

NumptyMum · 15/06/2010 16:22

Kittens - sending good vibes your way, it's GOT to go your way this time. Will be on bench beside Katie, wishing you well...

LittlePoot · 15/06/2010 17:03

Kittens - I'm with you too. I'm hoping so hard that everything will be ok. Just try and fill time before 5pm tomorrow - tv and dvds if necessary. I'll be thinking of you. xx

Crazycatlady · 15/06/2010 20:34

Hi everyone!

Well done on the flat katie! Must be a huge relief...

Sorry to hear about the stroppy little ones. Must be something in the air... DD threw one stonker of a tantrum this morning after I deigned to change her out of her favourite, but dirty, fish t-shirt before going to the childminder. Many many items were thrown, and I have scratches as battle scars. 40 minutes later we left the house...

Lovely to hear about everyone's gardens. Our lettuces are doing very well, we have been harvesting and eating regularly! Tomato, chilli and courgette plants all coming along nicely too.

Kittens - will be thinking of you tomorrow and will check in as soon as I can in the evening. I hope you manage to get a little sleep tonight and that tomorrow passes quickly.

Poot - hope the week is speeding by and you're coping ok.

I meanwhile am sitting here wondering whether I should POAS . Am on day 28 of a normal 26/27 day cycle but it's post early-mc so who knows? Shall I wait until next week? I've had sore boobs, funny tasting mouth, tiredness and a little bit of nausea, all my usual early PG symptoms but my hormones are probably all over the place after what my body's been through this year. What dy'a reckon? xx

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