support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities

[katiecubs]

Hi girls - i hope this becomes a useful area

Hi, I'm a poster on the sister board and a few weeks from another ivf cycle so thought I'd pop in.

Peanut, I'm so sorry to hear about your recent loss, such an enourmous loss for you. I know there are few words I can say to sum up how you're feeling right now, but I am thinking of you.

Popsy,it really does knock you for 6 when a cycle of treatment fails. I hope the days are being kind to you and you're able to try again with more treatment.

Hello to all else.

Oh peanuthead i am so relieved i havent offended you. I have also been thinking of you too. I know what you mean about the 'nice to hear from fellow infer and someone who has had 2 losses'. It all gets way too much at times and you are right in the midst of it all, there seems know rhyme of reason to the majority of it and that shit indeed does happen to others. It was the loneliest time in my life after my first loss and with my second i have kept things very much between myself and DH. What i am trying to say is whenever you are up to posting i can also be someone to hold your hand when you need it. Thinking of you so much sening strength your way.

Bee i am just a little over sensitive atm, probably hormones, they can be blamed for all sorts of things

Also interested in the herbs Mishtabel. I have often thought about it but didnt really know where to start. Thank you for thinking of me.

Hello and welcome to all the newcomers to the thread. We will all be here to support you on your journey. It's a scary step, I know, and this is why this thread came about.

LittlePoot, try not to get yourself too stressed. If you look back a few pages you will remember that, like you, I was fretting about not feeling very pregnant at the beginning. Now, although I don't feel particularly sick (for which I should be grateful), I do feel knackered a lot of the time, bloated, shakey, super thirsty, spotty, migraines, sore boobs, constant weeing. So, give yourself a couple of weeks. The symptoms have really crept in gradually for me so plenty of time for you to catch up! I do feel a bit calmer having seen that all was ok so far at just over 5 weeks (which was supposedly a 7wk scan) but I remain cautious as I know there are still no guarantees so I couldn't say whether having such an early scan is a good or bad thing really. I'm having another one at 8 weeks though so will hopefully have fairly regular reassurance.

Sorry I've not spoken to you all individually. I've had a migraine today so not very with it but wanted to try and offer some reassurance to LittlePoot after her post.

Dear Popsy and Allways - hello, good to see you over here though I know it is a scary step. Really hope things go well for you with the IVF and hope that perhaps Mishtabel's herbs might help the process along a little...?

LittlePoot - I think Kitten's thought of being 'almost pregnant' is one that helps, in a way. It doesn't stop the worry, but is a way of acknowledging how fragile those first few weeks are.

Kittens - have you mentioned your migraines to a doctor? I just googled (I know, I know) and they CAN be linked to hypertension or preeclamsia, so would be worth ruling those out although I'm sure the risk of that is minimal. They are probably only an indicator if they continue constantly and you are only in the early days just now... anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you have them at all, migraines are horrid.

Peanut - thinking of you...

Hope everyone else is OK. I'm doing fine; my feet are v sore at the end of the day but no worries other than that, for which I'm really grateful. Baby is very good at doing his/her exercises which is reassuring. And DS keeps me active! I've finally finished up at work, did an extra day for them on Tues as I've not got anyone to take on the project I've been managing, so had to write lots of explanation in the hopes that funding WILL be given and someone can be employed. But it's all out of my hands now.

Caught up with Mimsy and her lovely DS today, the two boys ran around the big shared gardens in the sunshine, with all the rhododendrons and laburnums in bloom around; idyllic, really.

Hoping everyone else can catch some of those peace-filled moments in the sun, xx.

Morning all.

Sorry you've been suffering with the migraines again kittens - I think numpty's right that you ought to check it out just in case. Not what you need on top of everything else, that's for sure.

Numpty - so close now - I'm really really excited for you! And great that you've finished work, although disappointing that your project has been left hanging somewhat - hopefully only temporarily. Not for you to worry about now though. The countdown really has begun...

Thanks for all the reassuring words - at least that I'm not alone in being a bit neurotic, even if there don't seem to be many magic solutions. Symptoms-wise, I'm definitely there - spotty, peeing, eating, nauseous, boobs like rocks and no temperature control. But the problem is, I had all those symptoms last time - right up to about a week after the ERPC. I had no idea there was a problem until the scan, and baby had already been gone 2 weeks. So I'm not getting much comfort from the symptoms any more. Although better symptomatic than not I suppose. I've made an appointment at the GPs on Monday so will dump all my concerns on them and see if they have any helpful advice. Probably not, but at least then I'll be in the system so can start thinking about scans again.

Anyway, hope all's well with everyone else, and welcome to Allways. Crazycat-how are you getting on? Hope you're ok. I remember these first few weeks being a bit flat, so I hope at least the sunshine is giving you a bit of a lift. Not to mention DD. Love to all. xxx

I tend to suffer from migraines anyway but I guess I'm slightly more susceptible when pregnant. Or maybe I notice more because I can't take migraine tablets! I mentioned them to my midwife in previous pregnancies and she didn't seem too concerned but I will mention it again as last time she referred me for free accupuncture - which I never got in the end because I stopped being pregnant.

My main worry at the moment is that I'm not feeling any of those stretchy uterus/ligament twinges at the moment. Maybe it's too early. I hope that's the reason.

It might help to have at least one early scan LittlePoot. The wait 'til 12 weeks is all the more excruciating when you've had miscarriages. I know it doesn't give any guarantees but it has made me half as neurotic as I would've been I think which is a start. I am trying not to look at it in a "getting my hopes up" way, so still remaining pragmatic. But at least, unlike last time, I won't have that situation that all those weeks I thought I was pregnant and I had already lost it - if that makes sense.

Hilarious.... I got a letter through from the hospital last week to ask me to call to make an appointment for the recurrent miscarriage clinic and have just got a letter back informing me of my appointment time at the, erm, Menopause clinic! I hope they don't know something I don't!

Luckily I've just phoned up and they have admitted they made an error and will be calling me to arrange an appointment with the correct clinic (which I am dearly hoping to be in a position to cancel when it actually comes to it!)

Ouch kittens - that's a mistake they should be more careful with in future!!! I'm just thinking about your stretchy pains, or lack of. I think I had some pains like that with baby 1 at about 9 weeks ish, and a tiny bit of (brown) bleeding. With baby 2, I had pain around 8/9 weeks and bleeding too, but then baby never made it past 7 weeks so that might not be a good example. And I seem to remember being told that once you've stretched the first time, there's not as much stretching to do in subsequent times so it could be that. But then as I said, I had a full set of symptoms right up until a week after I wasn't even pregnant any more last time, so I'm trying not to symptom spot at all this time. When is your next scan then - must only be a week or so? I think you're right that I'd feel better if I have one - although only if it gives me good news! I don't know. I'll see what the m/w says on Monday.

Anyway, I'm off to Brighton tonight so am looking forward to mooching around there in the sunshine tomorrow. Want me to keep an eye out for a new flat for you Katie? Wish I still owned mine - you could have had that one. Unfortunately I wasn't rich enough and had to sell it to buy our current place.

Hope everyone has a good and peaceful weekend, and Shangrila - hope you're still enjoying mine and kittens' extra units. xxx

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a lovely weekend.

I'm now at the halfway point between my last scan and the next one, which is next wednesday (16th) and I have the fear again! For the week after the last scan I felt relaxed and optimistic but now I'm back to being on edge again. I've not been peeing in the night nearly as much as I was so now I have irrational nerves, even though I have been bloated like mad all weekend and covered in spots, including a rather unsavoury looking one right in the middle of my bloody nose! God, this wait is painful. Roll on July (I hope).

Dear Kittens - earlier when talking with a friend I was reminded of lurching from scan to scan at the start of my own pregnancy this time. The feelings of that time were truly awful - always fearing the worst, up until the 18-wk scan - BUT it now seems like a distant memory. I sincerely hope that you can take heart from this, that news is not always bad, that you have already had one scan with a good heartbeat. I know it won't change the fear as you go towards your next scan, and in a way I still think your idea of being 'almost pregnant' is a very good protective mechanism. I hope that at the next scan, and each following scan, you feel a little more pregnant, and gain a little more confidence to tide you through a few more days... xx

Oh kittens - what can I tell you? Obviously, the pragmatic approach is that you mustn't over analyse your symptoms, should try not to worry and that the odds are strongly in your favour that all is well this time. However, speaking as the woman who has just peed on her 6th stick in 12 days, and still doesn't believe its all ok - maybe I'm not the best person to advise. Not peeing as much in the night could easily be the body getting used to the levels of hCG, or just that you happened to have drunk less that day. I'm trying really hard just to take one day at a time, but I've been working at home today waiting to go to see the m/w this afternoon and have so far been spectacularly unproductive. So if every day is as long as this, it's going to be a very slow 6 weeks... xxx

Thanks, I'm feeling a bit better today. I think I was just having a bit of a rubbish day yesterday. You know how it goes!

How was your m/w appointment LittlePoot? Are you going to have any early scans? It sounds like we are both climbing the wall together!

How is everyone else doing? Peanut and Catlady, I hope you are both bearing up ok.

Numpty, how goes it with you? Is your DS looking forward to meeting his new sibling?

Katie, you are quiet. Frantically looking for somewhere to live I guess. I hope the search is proving fruitful. You weren't wrong about 2 bed garden flats being like gold dust. My friends put theirs up for sale in Brighton and it sold within 24 hours for the full asking price! My grandma's house in Hove also sold within a week.

Mishta, Shangrila, Can't, Lins, hope all your little ones are doing well and letting you get a little sleep.

All you ladies back on the TTC journey, my fingers are crossed for you.

Sorry for any I haven't said hello to. There are quite a lot of us now aren't there? I am dozy and hormonal but I will try to keep up to speed!

Hi everyone, sorry have been a bit absent of late. It's been a mega manic week work wise. Just catching up on the thread now.

Glad you're feeling a bit better today kittens. Must be very hard indeed not to focus on every little thing right now wondering if it's a good or bad sign. Taking each day as it comes is good advice, and whatever it takes to stop your mind wandering to places it can't control - be that a favourite novel, cooking a huge curry, going to yoga, watching crap on the telly, whatever you have to do to get the time to pass uneventfully!

I'm doing ok. Received DD's hospital notes through from St Thomas's yesterday (long story) but it really brought everything back about the hellish week we spent in there after she was born. Very emotional but quite cathartic.

Am not allowing my mind to think about the possibility of pregnancy and trying to take a 'if it happens it happens' approach. Not really working though . Woke up feeling icky yesterday and of course the first thing that sprang into my mind was...

ah well.

Hope everyone is ok. Numpty, LittlePoot, what news? xx

Sorry for being quiet ? you are right though Kittens am very much immersed in finding somewhere to live so frequently running down from London to Brighton/Hove.

To be perfectly honest it?s a complete nightmare and I had a bit of a mini breakdown about it yesterday ? probably exaggerated by the hormones! The thing is I?m 30 weeks now and as most places are on 4-6 weeks notice I won?t be moving until I?m at least 8 months pregnant ? and that?s if I find something asap which is not likely soon as there is literally nothing to look at. It?s really getting me down as the nesting instinct has kicked in and I have so much to do and buy but I can?t get on with any of that until I have somewhere to live I have visions of going into labour when I?m trying to move ahhh ? just really hoping the baby doesn?t come early!!

Anyway enough moaning I?m sure it will all work out in the end ? good job i?m a big believer in fate!

Hope everyone else is well? Glad you are feeling more positive today kittens ? I hope the time passes quickly now until your next scan, we will all be right behind you when it does. How are you doing LP? Hope the days are passing relatively quickly for you too ? do you have a scan date?

Big wave to Crazycatlady, sounds like you have a good attitude towards TTC even if in practise it?s a little hard to follow! Glad that your DD?s notes brought a sense of release ? I?m at St. Thomas? hospital actually but as above hoping to move to Brighton for the actual birth!

Love to all the other TTC?ers, Pregnant Ladies (Not long at all now Numpty eek!) and of course the new and not quite so new mums xxx

Hello all. Glad you're feeling a bit better kittens. I'm afraid I'm heading the other way entirely. M/w appointment was fine yesterday. She's very sweet and she even booked my early scan for me (a week on Saturday - I should be 7 weeks) because I told her I had trouble last time. But then today I've got raging period pains on and off and I think the tiniest bit of (brown) bleeding, so frankly I'm assuming the worst. I guess I need to wait and see whether it gets worse or goes away, but I just don't really have a good feeling about any of it. Rubbish. I could go and see about getting an even earlier scan, but I'm not really sure how it would help - I'll presumably know soon enough if its bad news. If the pain goes away, it's only another week and a half until the booked scan and by then they'll be able to see more. Why can't it just be easy?

oh littlepoot, can you get to an EPU for a reassurance scan? Don't know where you are but I know the one at St Thomas's is just a walk-in and they'll scan you if you're over 6 weeks.

katiecubs, hello! Sounds a bit stressful re the move. Of course you want to feel settled well before the birth, what a mare. Are you seeing any places this weekend?

Littlepoot so sorry you are having a crappy day but please don't assume the worst i had awful period type pains at the beginning of this pregnancy, i'm sure they say it's caused by the womb streching etc. Hang on in there - as i said to kittens we are right behind you!

Crazycat i've just booked some appointments to see some places over the next couple of days so please cross your fingers they don't go before i get down there. I have had to widen my search to 1-3 bed flats/houses within 1 mile of hove/brighton stations and there is still hardly anything! If anyone is thinging of getting a buy to let - you would make a killing down there

Katie, that must be very nerve wracking for you, not to mention frustrating! I do hope you find a place soon.

LittlePoot, I'm sorry you're having a worrying time. It's interesting that this is happening at pretty much the same stage that I had the pink discharge scare. Everything was fine and at my scan it turned out that I was up to 2 weeks less pregnant than I thought. They said to me that because I'd had the ERPC so recently, what I thought was a period may not have been my proper cycle but bleeding following from the ERPC. All rather confusing but what I'm getting at is that perhaps the pink was still from implantation and perhaps that's what is going on with you? Just a thought. They often say that brown blood is less of a worry than red. Maybe it's some residue/old blood from implantation. See how you go over the next day or so and if you're still really worried maybe go to the EPU. UCH also has a walk in EPU - I seem to remember that you work nearby? I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Lots of fingers crossed at the moment, might prove tricky holding my make up brushes!

Busy thread today!

Catlady good to hear from you. Glad the hospital notes were helpful, although painful to re-live.

Kittens - glad you're feeling better and LittlePoot I hope all is well; fingers crossed for you here too...

Katie - moving is my personal nightmare, we've been in our tiny flat for nearly 9yrs and I will have to be prised away from here like a limpet from a rock. However by this time next year I think we will probably have to move out . So you have my full and utmost sympathy for trying to find somewhere to live. It's so frustrating that I know 2 or 3 folk who live in Brighton but none of them even has a spare room...

I've finished work now, although it's really only the first part of the week that I'm 'off' due to looking after DS the rest of the time; and the first part of the week also has various maternity appointments. However it's great to have time to organise things at home finally. Again, huge sympathy to Katie - and really hope you get somewhere to sort out a.s.a.p!

I still don't think DS realises the baby in mummy's tummy won't always be there, and that it will actually be born, soon. Also, not knowing when things will happen makes it harder, eg I can't say exactly who/when/how long someone else will be looking after him . I've got Plan A, B, C and D folk lined up (most of them have holidays around the possible date of arrival, hence so many!) and he knows them all fairly well, so I hope it won't be too stressful for him... sigh. So I am really hoping that labour this time will be straightforward and quick so he's not left in limbo for too long.

Then of course it's just the minor hurdle of him adjusting to not being the only child . Ach well, what will be will be.

Better go. Love to all, xx

LP, quickly, period cramps early on can be totally normal. Hope the brown discharge is nothing. Fingers crossed for you.

LittlePoot, are you ok?

Hello. Sorry - running around in meetings and not getting near the internet. Am still getting pains but not as badly as the other day. No bleeding at all I don't think so, so hopefully you're all right and its fine. I've got a scan a week on Saturday so I guess I've just got a week of wondering. I'm swinging from feeling like I can't possibly be this knackered and sick if things are not going well, to assuming the scan next week will give me the same crap news as the last one. I'm not in a great place about it all to be honest, but I'm so busy at work that at least I don't have a lot of time to dwell on it. And it makes the 9 days to the scan go a bit faster....

Sorry - a bit self-absorbed! Kittens - how are you getting on? You must be worried about yours too. Its just so difficult to wait!!!

Hope everyone else is ok and I'm sure I'll cheer up again once this hellish week at work is over. xxx

Dear LP and Kittens - scans are hellish. I'm really glad to hear there's no other worrying news re any bleeding etc. I think in a way you are bound to be very pessimistic about the scans, it's a way of coping even if not a happy way of coping. And I completely remember the feeling of relief after scans lasting about a week before descending into worry again.

BUT there is no reason why there should be bad news. If you can keep hold of that, balanced against the coping mechanism of pessimism, it might help you get there a bit easier. And being busy at work, or at home, or doing something that distracts also helps.

Hoping the days ease by for you both... xx

I'm exactly the same as you hon. I have a cricked neck from being so tense, again! Honestly, I'm driving myself stupid. I woke up this morning at about 6.30 (courtesy of the cat) and started worrying again about how I wasn't feeling that thirsty or waking up for a pee in the night. Then dropped off for a bit and then work up several times for a drink or a wee. Honestly! Been feeling very blue this week and scared. Just had a load of work postpone so now have too much time to dwell. Roll on next Wednesday, one way or the other.

I hardly feel pregnant at all. The tiredness comes and goes. No nausea to speak of. Just blind panic really!

Like you, I feel like I'm being rather self absorbed too but can't help it at the mo.

And then there's the bloody World Cup. I hate football and that's going to be on pretty much until the time I have my CVS so will have a somewhat absent or distracted boyfriend too

I'm an emotional wreck today - hormonal, I guess. And tired. I keep not getting to bed before midnight just through disorganisation and mostly it's been OK, I sleep alright overnight now that I've stopped work (apart from a loo visit or two). But DS was playing up at playgroup today, pushing other younger children and generally being a pain, and it's always harder to deal with there because I'm the person running it, so can't just take him away. I thought going to the park would help, and it did - but he still ended up pushing at another child. So we've come home, and he's OK now - but I'm such a wuss I've been crying at the emotional bits in (of all films - embarrassed emoticon) Cars. I mean it's hardly an emotionally taxing film, FGS.

I'd better get more sleep tonight. Just embarrassed that I'm so susceptible to tears. And getting more worried about how I will cope when I have newborn and even less sleep...