support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities

[katiecubs]

Hi girls - i hope this becomes a useful area

Hi Katie! At work just now but wanted to say I'll pop back later... xx

Hello New Thread. Blessings to all who post here. x

Hello all...I am still around! Hello to special new thread, thanks katie. xxxx Will be back....!! xxx

Thanks for setting this up Katie x

Thanks. x

Hello All in this bright, new space.

As a current sufferer of antenatal depression, I can truthfully say I would never have got this far, both in my pregnancy and emotionally without the fantastic support and friendship of the woman who like me, have experienced the bitter side of pregnancy.

I am learning to make the transition from living in fear to living in hope. It's a bumpy ride for us all.
Together, I know it will be that little bit easier.

Hi Shangrila - lovely that you are here. I hope we can keep you good company on your bumpy ride; not long for you to journey now? Same for Lins - I hope you are keeping well, are you due end of this month??

and hello to allstarprincess, kittens and any others; welcome to this new thread and all who sail on these (slightly choppy) seas...

xx NM

Yes Numpty - 38+ weeks! I still don't quite believe that I've managed to make it this far.

And I actually have a date - 21st Jan for a C-section. Will bore you all rigid tomorrow on that particular front (and beg for any tips on CS from those who have birthed this way before. I'm petrified.) Lins must be due there or thereabouts, too?

Hope you're managing to sleep. Never one of my stronger points! x

Hi and welcome to anyone who has terminated and is now pregnant.

I have terminated twice, once at 13 weeks for a chromosomal problem that meant the baby wouldn't survive, and once at 20 weeks for a developmental problem incompatible with life. I also have a healthy DD. And I am 26 weeks pregnant, excited, terrified and yet relieved to be this far.

Oh and I have had a c-section Shangrila - an emergency one, but still.

Exciting that some people are nearly at birth. There will always be loss at the heart of it all, though.

DD2 was born on 22nd shangrila

Hello? Can I join? I've been lurking on the support thread since my June 5th termination for T21. Every time I have felt lost and hopeless and just about to post, someone else posted exactly how I was feeling and the advice poured in and helped me too. So thank-you all for that. Many wise words and helping hands and they help more people than you know. Although it?s been so sad realising how many people are going through this and that everyone feels as low as I did (/do), it really helps to see people finding some light the other side and to feel the support from you amazing group of people.

Anyway, I think (and the sticks I keep peeing on are confirming) I am four weeks pregnant! Last time (the only time I'd ever been pregnant) I was so excited I kept letting the secret slip, so by the time the nuchal scan slapped us in the face, I had the extra ordeal of explaining to all my very well-meaning friends. This time I'm still (fortunately) very excited, although also scared and sad, but I really want to avoid telling anyone in real life so if the same, or worse, happens again I have one less worry to deal with. So can I come here and tell you? I?m scared even to post this in case I tempt fate and my period comes tomorrow or something, but I guess I can just go back to lurking on the support thread?. I just need to tell someone before I burst.

Hi all , quick post as have been promising to take girls out (still school hols here).

First, thanks Katie, for setting up thread. I'm sure it will be useful to many

Welcome to LittlePoot and Allstarprincess. Congratulations, LittlePoot. I know it's early days, and no doubt you have fears, but you have come to the right place. These women are so lovely and supportive, though you'd already know this having been lurking on the other thread (not so much 'other' thread - more like companion thread). Sorry for what you have been through. And yes, it is sad how many have been through this type of thing.

I terminated for T21 in May '08. Lost my first girl to SIDS in '95, had 3 mc's over the years, have 2 lovely teen girls (13 & 14), and am very pregnant currently; due 30 Jan but having planned c-section on the same date as the lovely Shangrila (21st) - will be my first CS too, so advice welcomed. I am happy to talk/ answer concerns about any of the above, or just help in any way I can.

Nice to drop in. Chat soon xx

'93, my first child was born in '93. My second was in '95. (Sorry, just something I had to clarify)

Hi littlePoot and Allstarprincess, and hello everyone else!

Little Poot, yes it's so hard in the early days, keeping it hidden when you want the privacy, and not wanting to tell just in case..but also wanting to tell cos it's a lovely piece of news! I found I couldn't keep it hidden much past 8 week because I was sooooo sick.

I have had 2 terminations, both for rare serious chromosomal abnormalities, different ones unrelated to each other. Lightening struck us twice, but I do also have a 3 yr old Dd, who is LOVELY! (and such a little monkey too!) Making that 'choice' to terminate is the hardest most awful thing and although I have found some peace, I will never really be able to accept the guilt and the 'what -ifs' of it all. Just want my girls back, healthy.

Gosh Mishta and Shangrila - both 'due' on the same day! I may well join you. Actual due date is 23rd. I do have an induction booked for this thurs, but think I will wait another week to see if nature will take its course. There's no real medical reason to be induced, it was booked because I was in such a wobbly emotional state ( and SPD and not sleeping and morning sickness etc, but everyone gets a bit of that!)
I don't want to go over my date though, so may still go down the induction route next week..? Only thing is, I've only ever heard bad things about inductions, mainly because ladies who have them are often overdue, or have other medical reasons why the labour didn't go smoothly on its own. Thoughts on a postcard please!

Feeling fat and achey today and so tired. Bleugh.
Wish our house was more of a sanctuary for me at the moment - but it isn't. It's disorganised and needs so much work. And although the floors have now been sanded and varnished I am suffocated by their yucky fumes all day, so horrid. I open all the windows and we freeze! Sorry to moan but I just feel very negative about everything. Had another counselling session yesterday and cried through most of it, but did feel a bit better after.

Can'tdo..26 week and counting, looking forward to holding your hand all the way!

Big hugs to anyone out there who is lurking. xxxx

Welcome Allstarprincess and Littlepoot!

Congratulations too Littlepoot - what super news! I am currently 9 weeks pregnant after a termination for Turners Syndrome in September (it was my fist pg also) still early days for me too so i'm nervous but excited. It would be lovely if you joined us for the journey

Lins, Mishta and Shangrila i can't believe your little babies are all due so close together - very exciting!

I am feeling decidedly terrible today, i have read that HCG peaks as 9 weeks though so am really hoping it starts to ease off a little soon.

Katie xxx

Oh and Lins sorry you are having a hard day and the house is getting you down - totally understand it's not what you need right now. You will get there though and it will all be worth it. Glad the counselling is helping still x

Oh Katie, I so sympathise with the feeling awful bit! I remember just wanting to sleep through every day so i didn't have to face the sickness. How are you getting on with food shopping/cooking? I couldn't do it at all!!

Morning all, and thank-you so much for the welcomes. Might have set me off just a little bit, but I've got my back to the door here so could wipe away the mini-tear without being seen..... I'm blaming hormones.

Woke up this morning convinced I wasn't pregnant and that I'd imagined the whole thing. Peed on last stick though, and I really definitely am. And felt a bit of a muppet for having to check for the third time.

Linspins - I do remember your story actually from back in June when I was waiting for my CVS results. You came up on a google search when I was trying to find the odds of bad things happening twice, and that brought me to mumsnet. I'm so happy that you're so nearly there, despite the struggles, and hope all goes really well in these last few weeks. Fingers crossed baby makes a timely appearance. I can't even imagine getting to that stage - I'm definitely only focussing on these first 12 weeks (or rather 11 weeks and 5 until I can have the scan/CVS). I figure if all goes well, there's plenty of time to think about the next bit.

And Katiecubs - I hope you're doing ok? 9 weeks - I think that's when I was so knackered last time I had to take occasional afternoon naps at work!! I saw what you posted a while ago about HCG levels being higher with Downs and other syndromes, so I'm hoping the fact I don't feel as symptomatic as I did last time is a good sign. I'll take anything as a good sign at this stage - you're probably the same. Are you booked in for a nuchal scan again?

Sorry - huge post. Must get back to work. Thanks guys for being there!

Well luckily i have a really understanding OH who is doing everything right now - i feel really bad because i just look dead lazy but he's been very sympathetic (so far). Luckily he loves cooking so usually does that anyway. He's not so keen on the housework though which i'm also struggling with!

Morning Littlepoot, I've got my nuchal 2 weeks tomorrow when i should be 11+2 - i really don't know how i'm going to cope as the thought of getting scanned again scares the hell out of me. I don't like the power the sonographer holds!

I'm the same as you though i can't even think past the NT scan right now. I have no idea what it would feel like to come out of the room smiling and holding a pic of the baby, it seems like a dream. Really, really hoping that's what happens for both of us though!

Yes katie - wouldn't that be fabulous?

Wow - only two weeks to wait. I guess that's good that you're almost there, although it must be terrifying. I so hope it all goes well. I know the odds are in your (our) favour, but they were last time as well and that didn't exactly work out. I think I was 1:440 when I went in for the scan, and 1:4 when I came out. I'm not sure whether I'd be happy with 1:1000 now though. I know there's still that 1. Someone at work has just emailed to say they're 15 weeks pregnant. So innocent and happy, and blissfully unaware of the traumas they have missed (I know she's had a smooth ride so far). I want that innocence back! I am excited, but like you - I can't imagine actually getting past the scan. It's like I'm only half pregnant. Fingers (and everything else) crossed! x

Hello Allstarprincess and LittlePoot. Congratulations LittlePoot, you're not far behind me. I'll be 7 weeks tomorrow. Like you, I was a little worried that I didn't have much in the way of symptoms like I did the last 3 times but they are just starting to creep in now. I'm sure you've heard it said more times than you care to remember, all pregnancies are different. In this and my 2nd pregnancy I had really 'sticky' sinuses but didn't have that in the other two.

I've started feeling rather queasy the last couple of days. I hope I don't feel as rubbish as I did last time! I had a great weekend because of my birthday but apart from that my hormones are doing a great job of making me feel sad quite a lot of the time, which is not good. I'm not even sure it's to do with being scared (although maybe that's an underlying cause). Work hasn't really taken off this year yet, so that probably doesn't help either as I'm not keeping busy as I should be. I'm a self employed make up artist and January is always a bit of a bleak month.

My other half is being very good at looking after me. I think he felt so guilty about what I've had to go through the past few years that he wants to do his bit, bless him.

HavingKittens, a belated Happy Birthday to you. Hope your birthday wishes come true. xxxxx

I know we as females have to go through such a lot of hard work and crapness during pregnancy, (even at the best of times, without all the trauma of pregnancy after loss) so it's such good thing to be helped by our partners. I know mine is my absolute rock and does his very best to look after me and our Dd.

Having said that, I don't know whether mine quite understands the demons I fight with internally. He listens and sympathises but he doesn't have the same 'emotional problems'. Probably just as well!!

It probably is just as well lins, imagine if they were as messy on the inside as we are! We need at least one rock in the house.

I have my 8 week scan next week and on one hand it will (hopefully, fingers crossed) be reassuring to see there's really someone in there with a beating heart on the other hand it's really scary to be given that hope and still have the dread that it will all be snatched away again. Roll on March....

Kittens, I'll be on 'the bench' when you have your scan. Either very fat and probably scoffing biscuits, or breastfeeding!
Ditto roll on March, if only for a promise of spring on it's way.