Morning all. Glad you are all well.
Numptymum Hope you are OK today. I am thinking of you and Iola.
Thought I would share more about me today. I have been slowly spoonfeeding it out on other posts but today I am feeling up to setting it all out: Sorry for the long post in advance.
Lost a DD Harley to Anencephaly in March 2001. I was on the contraceptive injection when I fell and my doctor did not believe me when I told him that I was definitely pregnant. We were then messed about by the scanning system so only discovered late in the pregnancy. We had an induction and delivered her stillborn at 30 weeks after a 48 hour labour. She was perfect. My husband and I put it down to really bad luck and tried to move on as best we could. We did not want to try again as it did not feel right.
In 2004 we felt that enough time had passed and began again. We fell pregnant really quickly but lost at 8 weeks. Allowing ourselves another 6 months we fell again only to lose at 12 weeks. Once again we decided to give it a break. We were not taking any contraception at this time but letting nature take its course.
In December 2006 I discovered I was pregnant again. We were so excited but did not want to have to 'untell' people as we had in the past so waited until we got past 12 weeks. On the day that we told friends and family I began to bleed. I went along to the EPU who told me that the baby was fine, however they could see where the blood was coming from and it did not look good. I went home awaiting the inevitable. Thankfully it did not happen. A scan a week later showed a very healthy baby growing where it should be and no sign of any more bleeding.
I gave birth to my DD in September 2007. She is the greatest thing to have ever happened in my life so far.
Realising that we can have children and that our bad luck was behind us we began to try again. Again I feel pregnant really quickly. We made it past 12 weeks and had our scan scheduled on my husbands birthday hoping to tell our friends and family at his celebrations that evening.
As soon as I saw the ultrasound screen I knew something was wrong. Our Sonographer's hands started to shake and she got up from her seat and started trying to put more paper in the scanner printer. When she sat back down she gave us our news "Unfortunately you have the same condition as before, your child has Acrania" We did not believe it. We had been told that this would never happen to us again and here we were in the same room as we had originally been told about our first child facing the news again.
We had no choice but to terminate. Unfortunately as it was a friday we had to wait until Monday before they could carry out the procedure. We went to another hospital to have it done so as a sample could be taken for genetics and karotyping.
12 weeks later we went back to the hospital to receive our results. When called into the consultation room I was a bit nervous as we seemed to be having a gynae doctor giving us the news rather than genetics but my husband was saying "maybe they pass the results back the department that ordered them." No suck luck for us. The doctor explained that the tissue sample taken had come back with an unusual result. This could be due to 2 things; 1. The sample was damaged due to the nature of the operation and had included fetal cells in error. 2. The sample could actually be accurate but we need further testing. "Further testing for what?" I asked. "For a partial molar pregnancy." I was given the response.
So cue another 6 months of blood tests and scans whilst we were waiting for my HCG to reduce to less than 5 and check that there was no remaining tissue anywhere that would grow on. Because the hospital had not diagnosed me and my levels were not 'dangerously high' charing cross decided that an approach of monitoring me via this route was satisfactory. All this time I was unable to try again as this could set any tissue that was remaining back into action.
We sat and waited. Our results for the genetics test came through 24 weeks after they had been sent off. We met with a genetics consultant who took a complete family history and then told us that based on our conditions happening twice and the limited results they achieved from the karotyping etc we had a 1 in 4 chance of this re-occuring. I do not know how we coped over that time. I look back on it now and it seems to be such a blur as to how we got through. Our DD kept us sane and ensured the distraction we needed to keep going but keep going we did.
After 6 months of blood testing and invasive scans we were also told that no molar tissue was remaining/found. We were given the all fine to start trying.
We are now 11 weeks pregnant and I am hoping that last year is behind me. We have a scan with a consultant tomorrow and they have already had 2 lots of bloods that are going to be combined with our scan tomorrow to give us an accurate view on what is happening. I know we are once again facing the long-haul but at least this time I feel slightly prepared for it (if you can ever feel such a thing.)
Based on the findings tomorrow we will have to go back for regular scanning as Acrania cannot be entirely ruled out until after 13 weeks. But I am feeling as though I am strong enough to face whatever the outcome is. I know that this is just because I am having a very positive day and that later I might change how I am feeling, but right now I need to get this message out, even if only to remind me of how much I have coped with and how I am able to continue.
This may seem weird as I am writing to you out there but I would like to include a message to me; kind of like a message in a bottle: You can do this. Whatever the outcome you have a daughter that loves you and a family who support you. You will be fine.
Anyway, it has taken me ages to write this and I feel that I now need to lie down and cry. Thanks for the space in which to outpour. I hope that I am not putting a downer onto this new thread as I am still not sure where I should be posting. I do not want to scare all the new mums etc or upset those who have been through similar but are not pregnant. I am hoping you lovely ladies can all understand.