support thread for women who have chosen to terminate IV

[bezzyk]

Hello ladies old and new.

Here's hoping this thread brings better luck and much happiness.

Lots of love

BK xx

Morning all xx

Thanks for your kind thoughts and lovely words. So far, both DH and I seem to be doing okay - although I appreciate it's only 9.49am!

We plan to go to Gaucho tonight for dinner - it's DH's favourite restaurant and the last time we were there was the Saturday after I had the termination. As you know, it was also the last Saturday before our wedding, so we'd originally planned to go there that night as a last 'date' as a single man and woman. Although we'd had a traumatic week, we ended up having a gorgeous and lovely dinner - it was just what we needed at the time in terms of getting out of the house and spending some quality time together - so in a weird way, I have very fond memories of the place. It kinda seems fitting we'll be back there again tonight of all nights.

Hope everyone else is okay. Mishta - glad to hear the paediatrician was great.

Love to all
xxx

Hey VivC, just to say we are with you. x

Your plan sounds special, all the special places have good/bad memory mixes going on I think.

That is cracking stuff Mishta. x

Morning Viv - glad you are going ok so far, have a lovely time at Gaucho tonight (it's also my OH favourite!) will be thinking of you xxx

Also great news about the moniter Mishta, so glad you have someone on your side. Hope you can relax a little more now xxx

Viv, thinking of you and your DH today: hope it has been a gentle day for you both.

Hello All

Hope today passed peacefully Viv, and that you enjoyed your meal.

Bee - have things improved since LM returned.

Things just plodding along here, day to day. Trying my hardest to keep busy. As soon as things quieten down my mind starts working overtime. And we all know what happens when the mind starts working...

On the plus side, DH and I are getting along better, and he's even agreed that another baby wouldn't be such a bad thing. So, we'll see what happens. Still, so many hurdles to cross before that's a reality.

Anyway, just wanted to wish our ladies that are on the final few days the best of luck, (not sure if you're still reading this thread though) can't wait to hear of our new thread babies.

Love BK xx

(Still here bezzy!) Eating fresh pineapple and trying to will the baby to come out now...

Viv, hope you had a lovely meal out and managed to spend quality time with your man, enjoying each others company. Funny how places can have good memories even in the toughest of times. Was thinking of you today. xxx

Little wave to Justa. Hope you are doing ok. xxx

Hello All

Not doing too well at the moment. Obvious stuff, 'twill pass.

Just wanted to say that I hope today passed peacefully for you, Viv. Think your plan for the evening sounds spot on! I always think that coming out the other side, the day after can be quite a boost, but that could just be me!

Peanut, I am sorry it is all such a struggle. I was buttoned up for far, far too long and it is still having repercussions with me now. So talking, venting, downright raging is fine in my book.

And Justa, I am so very sorry for your loss. Love and strength to you and your family. x

Hi Shangrila, sorry to hear you are down. When is baby due, it can't be long now? I am sure you've said and I've not been paying attention. Is your dd excited?

Lins too, looking forward to hearing some baby news. Are you past your due date? My dd was very late - 15 days!

Viv - hope you had a lovely meal.

Hugs to Bee.

Sorry for dull post, got dh's cold. He of course has had 3 days of work whereas I just have to struggle on....

Love to everyone else.

Oh arse puter ate my post!

How was the evening VivC? You are out the other side of yesterday, well done. I hope you are ok. Do you feel any lighter?

SHangrila, can we help? Be sure to take your own wise words and let it out, hee is it helps.

Lins, am lurkign for news

Bezzy, such good news that things are jollier at home. So important. So you two have talked about future plans then? Brave stuff, well done. Must be very draining.

Justa, much love.

Bee, as always, much love. Any consultant news or do we not speak of it?

Howdy to everyone else. Loads to do, house a tip and we have a party on Sunday. DD2 is one of Friday.

Hey everyone x

Had a lovely evening in the end - buckets of steak and red wine were consumed, and we did lots of reminiscing about just how bloody ace our wedding was.

That said, I did have a few blink-back-the-tears moments, especially after receiving texts from a couple of my best friends saying they were thinking of me. I hadn't expected them to remember, so I was touched they did.

To be honest, it feels strange to have come out of the other side of yesterday's 'anniversary' but at the same time am acutely aware that's only the first. Gracie's due date is in May, so I guess that's the next one to overcome. Little steps, and all that...

Much love to you all, especially to Shangrila. Hope you're feeling brighter today.

xxx

Glad you survived Viv. It's not as hard as we expect is it?

The day I had the D&C for missed miscarriage, also happened to be terminated baby's due date. Strangely enough, I didn't fall to pieces. A nasty coincidence though.

This whole baby mallarchy is riddled with coinciding dates.

I'm finding the 'year down the line since we first started trying' much more difficult than the actual due date. I think it's because it's a reminder, that only a year ago, I was blissfully pregnant with no idea of the horrors that year had in store for me.

Hope you're ok Shangrila.

Love to everyone esp Bee, MrsBG, Can't, Tree, Justa, and anyone else whose name escapes me at the moment

BK xx

Hi Everyone

Viv - glad you had a good evening, I didn't realise you've had 2 losses. AND lovely that friends remembered too.

Bezzy - I think DH's find it easier to jsut give up in baby making when it all geos wrong and need a bit of convincing that it's worth the risk of trying again. I know DH has said afew times we should just stop and needs convincing I'm strong enough - or desperate -to keep trying.

I know what you mean about "year down the line" - although it's not a year since we started trying for no 2, much longer than that, but thi time last year we were about it embark on our first IVF all full of hope, not knowing I'm an old knacker and life seemed so much lighter - so much can change in such a short space of time.

It's been good to be back on here and be reminded that some of you have been through this more than once - that actually life shits on other people too....and to hear stories like Mishta's for the same reason. I've been so wrapped up in my own crap I'd forgotten that.

Bee - hope you're ok.

I'm feeling much better since my rant - thank you all for listening - someone mentioned counselling - have been offered by my GP but noone to look after DD. Also the IVF drugs are I think making me feel really depressed, they're really nasty indeed - and I keep thinking Tree did this out of choice!

Hi to everyone I've missed, DD been watching tv for far too long while I catch up.....

FOrgot to say Lins, DD was 14 days over - they were the worst 14 days of the entire pregnancy. So I do feel for you, large, tired, and apprehensive about the pain to come.... ANd I tried everything to tickle her out - poor DH....Good luck!

Hi everyone.

Viv, I'm glad the night out was good, despite the circumstances. And that you sound strong. Well done.

Lins, hope you are no longer here (you know what I mean!). I had a sweep with DD. It was fine but it didn't encourage her to come. Mind you I think she was too comfortable.

Peanut, you sound much more settled today; I'm glad. What happens next in the IVF programme; when will the insemination (is that right word?) be?

Bezzy, I found a year on from everything related to the first traumatic pregnancy very hard. Remembering how innocently optimistic I was. It's like I was a different person (the sort of person who looked forward to scans!). It becomes something you live with, I think, sort of part of who you were and are no longer, and you can see it like that and move on. If that makes any sense at all... which it may not..

I had a growth scan today. All fine, relief. I can't believe how stressed I get before scans though. Everyone else looks excited. I look like I'm heading to my death. Anyway feel reassured now.

Hi Bee, MrsBG, Shangrila, Tree, Justa and everyone else unmentioned above.

Am reading.....also seem to be trying to sleep train dd2 so ber with me.......

Hi Tree, it's a bit like that isn't it? by the time I've read I've no time to post...

Am shaking - have just emailed a friend - not the one who had the scan another one, who is an old old friend who hasn't been in touch at all since the termination, although she was in text contact during the waiting period. Yesterday she emailed to invite me to her birthday party so have replied and told her how pissed off I am. I'm not used to doing that, normally I just go a bit passive aggressive for a while then cave in so it feels quite scarey.

Maybe I'll lose a friend but maybe next time someone close to her has something happen she might be there for them. I'm beyond caring...

Sweeps - ugh, I had one, not nice and DD leapt about a mile. And I have a very difficult to get to cervix so it took 3 midwives to get to it.

Justa and Shrangrila, think you're struggling a bit at the moment, hope it passes soon.

Early start for me tomorrow but I just wanted to check in and say that I'll be along with news, when I have some!

You have all been stars and helped more than words can say. I can't say that I am confident, but I'm not the wibbling wreck of June/July. And that's due to your help and encouragement.

Thank you again. I'll be in touch. x

Hi all, very quick post (shall try anyway) as just had 2 sleepers and starting to feel tired already. Am checked into hospital at moment, cs booked for 8am (10 hrs from now). Will keep you posted as soon as I can.

Just wanted to say to Bee, Justa, Tree and everyone else here who has been a support and voice of reason, even when advice/words of wisdom were not directed at me - thank you. You have all helped me deal with these last few months - I don't know anyone in RL who has been thru what we have, so has been very hard to express concerns to anyone besides you all.

Viv, glad you had a nice evening. And, yes, isn't it lovely when people remember? Special friends, those.

Can't, so glad your scan went well and brought you relief

Peanut, hope you are still feeling better. I think we all know that just because we might feel 'good' one day, doesn't mean we won't feel crap the next. Just be kind and patient with yourself, keep letting it out as you need. Someone is always here

Shangrila, will be keeping close eye out for news. Can't wait to hear!

Lins, you too. Must be tempting to just go with Friday. See how you feel then I suppose. If I let this pregnancy run it's usual course, I would probably go another 3 weeks - and I know I could not handle that. Continuing to send labor vibes to you

Must go google 'sweep' now as I have no idea what it is. Must also pop into other thread while I can still keep my eyes open. Have a good day. Will have news by late tonight (your time) or early morning

take care everyone, and thanks again xxx

Sending you lots of love and the best of luck, Mishta. Will be thinking of you.

Much love, Viv xxx

Ooh Mishta - I had no idea it was that imminent! Good luck and will be checking for news.

Mishta, so exciting! And thank you for being a sane, calm, intuitive voice here for all this time. Really looking forward to news!

Ditto from Shangrila (baby must be here now!) and Lins - good luck with induction tomorrow if nothing has happened today. I was induced and it wasn't awful (it did end in C-section, but I hadnt given birth before and baby wasnt that well positioned).

I can't believe we are having more thread babies. Hope after all the horror.

The biggest of hugs and love to you Mishta and possibly by now new baby too.
It has been and hopefully will continue to be, a pleasure to talk to you and know you Mishta.
You bring much warmth to our thread home.

Love to Shangrila too and hoping and praying you all safe and snuggly and happy.
kisses
Bee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Can't wait to read the happy news. Hoping there'll be something to read in the morning

You doing ok Bee? Work keeping you busy? Thinking of you lots.

I've got friends visiting this weekend, going for a meal out on Sat night with them Looking forward to it. Just praying minibez doesn't wake while sitter here. She's not been sleeping too great of late.

I did trespass on the pregnancy thread earlier and saw your news kittens, I'm not sure if you're reading this thread anymore, but hoping the next 2 weeks pass quickly for you. As Can't says, the web is full of positive stories where people have been in similar situations to yours.

Justa, hope you and your family are doing ok.

Much love

It is dd2's 1st birthday in one minute, which means it must be a big day for mishta.

And Shangrila. And Lins.

Wow. This is major.

Hello ladies and thanks for your good wishes.

Am home. Early in yesterday, nil by mouth, neurotic me just deep down not happy about things. Think I expressed much the same here. All gowned up, waiting, almost ready to go, when suddenly we had a visit from the senior obstetrician and the clinical director, who had reviewed my notes and who were concerned that I was being offered a section unnecessarily. They would be happy to offer me a vaginal delivery, if I wanted it.

Much soul searching followed. Further scan. Placenta not serious previa, simply lower lying. General carpeting of junior diagnosing doctor. Shangrila goes home.

And has since thrown up ever since...

Plan is to go into labour naturally, attend the Midwife led unit and see how we go. Whenever that might be. DD was 40+4, so don't expect imminent news from me.

But am so much calmer. Everything about yesterday just felt wrong and I can't explain why. Instinct?