Ooo, a glass of wine, now there's a thought. Ought to have just the one though..
Back still aches, it's an ongoing thing.
Dd is in bed, vague mewls coming from that direction but if I type loud enough, can't hear her. She has some bedtime songs playing in her room, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dh is cooking dinner, and outside the sky is a clear blue. Evenings like this ought to bring a calm peace that summer is around the corner.
Just caught dh sneaking round outside the window reading what I'm typing, hee-hee, he thinks he's so funny. But glass of wine has materialised. Good for something then!!
I was writing an email to him today (I know, you're thinking, don't you speak to your Dh? But helps to get thoughts out.)
I wrote in part of it "I thought a month or so ago I was coping ok, but actually it is a very fragile coping, and doesn't take much for me to feel quite overwhelmed. It feels quite a shock that normal life goes on - how can this be when something so sad has happened? Surely there should be a huge monument erected in Town to mark this sadness, where everyone has to have a minutes silence everyday? Well, that's how it feels. I have to keep writing on Mumsnet to feel that the important thing that happened hasn't been forgotten or finished.
And then things keep springing out at me to stir it all up - a letter from the geneticist or a phone call from the chaplain. It is all very surreal - they are there saying your ashes are ready to collect, and I am merrily saying 'oh good, thank you, that's great'. How can a person take a call like that? Surely such cruelness shouldn't be allowed in life? "
And that just about sums it up.
I am so glad all of you are here, sharing life and thoughts. Yesterday when you all posted little messages in a row to me, it did feel like a little minutes silence from everyone, and was very special.
Tree, have a great weekend. You have been here for us even though your life is so hectic. thanks.
Marj and Eulalia, happy returns to your parents.
Hello To Justabout if you return anytime soon. Hope you are feeling well.
Bezzy, You are still a little poorly. wait for the magic potion to kick in. If not, get a cleaner in to do a one off spring clean.
Bee, can't think of anything relevant to say so just hello. [waves and raises glass]
Have a good evening all. xxx