Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

[NoCallerID]

@sickofthisyear thank you! And I'm sorry you're finding yourself here. It's a great space and everyone is very supportive.


I've had a positive digital this morning. This makes it feel real because we didn't even get to that point with the CPs. I'm only 11dpo and my anxiety is through the roof! I'm already freaking out about high HCG since the lines are so strong (it was the same with my TFMR pregnancy), DS was faint positive at 10dpo and then a positive digital on 12dpo. I just wanted to see availability for NIPT tests so I know how far in advance to book - they've closed our local clinic 😭 I won't book it until I've had a viability scan now anyway... I'm literally a wreck today.

[NoCallerID]

@Alice40p no experience with hay fever, but there are anti histamines you can take in pregnancy. I got prescribed some for my heat rash when I was 22 weeks, I'd spend 3 days of our honeymoon in Mauritius in the hotel room before I got them, it was that bad.

[Kiki275]

@NoCallerID ...and breathe. You are in excellent hands now, have you spoken to your consultant? The waiting was bad enough for me so can only imagine what it's like for you. Easier said that done but stress won't help, is there anything you can do to relax?x
Will you get a viability scan at 6 weeks?
Sorry! I'm so full of questions but so very hopeful for you xx

[NoCallerID]

@Kiki275 I literally took a deep breath after reading your ".... and breathe" and now I'm crying because you knew exactly what I needed just then. Thank you!! Hormones, hey.... 🙈
I haven't spoken to them yet. Last time I rang and told them that I tested positive and started the progesterone the midwife said "we don't recommend testing early." and I got so annoyed with her because she didn't know my history and if she was up to date with all the information and trials she would know some get positives and by the time they're due they're negative again, if these women didn't test early they would never know there was an issue.
Anyway, I'll call them on Monday I think. Or if I'm brave enough, later. I'll get a viability scan, yes. Hoping for 6+3 earliest as that's when I saw heartbeats with both the others.

[Kiki275]

Glad it helped! It's an awful feeling.
That's a bit unfair of the MW 10/11dpo isn't that early for some people. It was my standard cycle length so I tested at that point anyway. Add on top your history of CP and it's not a helpful thing to advise straight off the hoof.
What distraction have you planned for the long weekend? It'll seem like an eternity for you x

[NoCallerID]

@Kiki275 it really did. That's exactly what I said, but she hadn't checked my notes and the Prof had clearly said take progesterone from BFP, not from BFP but after period is due. I'm just about to call them now.... I'm so nervous but I hope they'll book me in for an early scan so I've got something to look forward to.
Were going to see DHs parents which will be lovely. Our lb is very excited and he's just a great distraction anyway.

[Kiki275]

My DS is 2.5 so I know that distraction really well... it's relentless 😂
Good luck with the call, that'll hopefully shift some of the weight from your shoulders knowing that someone else is involved and can start organising what's needed x

[NoCallerID]

@Kiki275 yes, mine is 2.5 too. It's a great age but very hard work sometimes. He's discovered the world and opportunities of tantrums. It's great. 🤣
Call went amazingly! My favourite midwife picked up the phone, she's so sweet and double checked all my notes. Booked in for a viability scan on 23.04., I'll be 6+5 then. (I've just found an amazing app where you can check what gestation you are at what date and vice versa - so good! It's called BabyMed)
She also said she's 99% sure we'll get the NIPT on the NHS due to having a previous diagnosis of T21. Has anyone been offered this? (Birmingham Women's) I remembered them telling me they wouldn't do the NIPT but would offer CVS or Amnio without a high chance combined screening... I'm not getting too excited about saving money yet 😅

[Kiki275]

You must be quite relieved at being taken seriously, so pleased 😀. Keeping everything crossed for you but no advice about NIPT sorry x

[Mummabear40]

@Alice40p I’m struggling so bad with hayfever, it’s making me miserable, the pharmacy was zero help so going to call the doctors on Tuesday.

@NoCallerID congratulations on your digital positive, fantastic news. My DS took ages to show as positive. Whereas my TFMR was positive quickly so I really panicked with this pregnancy when it was such a strong early positive, but all is well with baby and I’m now nearly 22 weeks. We didn’t get offered a NHS NIPT even though our TFMR baby had this, so it’s great you have. Not long until your scan. xx

[NoCallerID]

@Mummabear40 thank you!! I keep testing every morning as I still can't believe the tests are getting stronger, not fainter.
I'm not sure if we'll actually be offered it, she's going to check. (I really don't think so. Although I'm sure it would be cheaper than ordering a CVS or Amnio 🤷🏻‍♀️)
That's reassuring to know you tested positive so early on. I think I'm just comparing to other pregnancies too much, I just need to try and relax a bit now.

[Mummabear40]

@NoCallerID it’s definitely normal to compare to other pregnancies after what we’ve all been through, but my bereavement midwife said to me when I called her with the same panic that strong lines are good, strong lines show a strong pregnancy, after what you’ve been through with your chemicals this may help. I know it’s very hard to be positive though and I’d be lying if I said I was in those early weeks. xx

[Hadd9]

We had a tfmr due to our baby having Patau Syndrome. We are wanting to start again in the summer. I’m looking everywhere and I want to know the chances of having another baby with Patau.

We’re still waiting on the post mortem report from the hospital.

Any help / stories would really help!

[Kiki275]

@Hadd9 I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've no advice sorry but it might be worth contacting the ARC or even asking on the forum.xx

[Hadd9]

Thank you @Kiki275, I’ve emailed them as they’re closed

[Hadd9]

Xx

[Alice40p]

@NoCallerID it is great that your lines are getting darker, I was worried about dark lines too but my midwife told me that indicates strong pregnancy and is nothing to worry about.
@Mummabear40 this hayfever is horrible isn’t it?
@Hadd9 arc and my FMU both assured me to have another pregnancy with abnormalities is extremely rare!

[Mummabear40]

@Alice40p my midwife said the same about the dark lines. Yeah this hayfever is the worst, so bad this year!

[NoCallerID]

@Alice40p thank you, I know I wouldn't worry about if my history was different. I had a dye stealer at 14dpo today 😳 feeling pretty rough already but I really shouldn't complain. It's weirdly good to feel something happening. X

[BloodyHellAudrey]

NoCallerID I'd definitely day strong lines are a positive thing, my TFMR pregnancy the lines were faint for ages.

mummabear I'm so pleased for you. How are you feeling?

hadd I'm sorry I don't know about patau, i hope you get some answers soon.

Thinking of you all at Easter. I think I'm having an annovulatory cycle. I'm day CD 21 and no sign yet, temp still low, no positive opk. Wondering if its going to be a super late ovulation or just an annovulatory cycle. Frustrating either way. But not the end of the world.

[PinkertonRab]

Hi everyone. I had a surgical TFMR at Christmas due to Patau’s. On our 3rd cycle and period arrived yesterday so on to cycle 4. How long did it take everyone else? I’ve had 3 children (have 2 living children) and the longest TTC took was 3 cycles (lucky I know) but I think age (36) and everything that has happened means my body is a bit all over the place.

[PinkertonRab]

@Hadd9 we were told that Pataus was so rare and would be unlikely to happen again but obviously the worry is there

[Kiki275]

@PinkertonRab I'm so sorry to hear you're also going through this. I was lucky and my first two pregnancies took only approx 2 cycles each. This induced total panic when my cycles failed to regulate after my tmfr. It took about 9 cycles to conceive this time, which whilst I'm aware is a perfectly normal timeframe was starting to worry me. I'm 35 but my thyroid function has slowly been deteriorating which in turn affected my previously clockwork cycles x

[Kiki275]

I've had a lovely relaxed morning, then randomly thought about my upcoming 20wk scan on Wednesday. Back to feeling tight chested, it's awful 😢. Anyone know any good techniques for easing anxiety?x

[NoCallerID]

@PinkertonRab Welcome and sorry you're here. We've conceived really quickly (out of 9 cycles trying we've been pregnant 7 times). I have a LC and then had the TFMR, both first cycle. Since then I had 4 early miscarriages due to an infection after the TFMR which had basically no symptoms. Only thing I can advice is to test early and continuously. If I'd not done this I would have never known that we actually had conceived but there was something wrong and I'd lost all of them... I would still be trying wondering what's going on. I'm now pregnant again with a sticky bean so far 🤞🏼
I'm obviously not saying this is the case for you, but I want to raise awareness of this - it's called Chronic Endometritis and is a lot more common than people think. Tommy's are running a trial which I've taken part in so hopefully in the future health professionals will be more aware of this.