Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

[No1worrier]

[quote Kiki275]@No1worrier I can only imagine what the negative HPT felt like but I'd say yes, you're in a good position going forward.xx[/quote]
Thank you for replying, I will continue to do my OPKs to see where I am at in the coming days/weeks and hopefully ovulate x

[No1worrier]

Sorry if I have already asked this, but with the negative HPT yesterday and the idea my body should be gearing up for ovulation in the next couple of weeks hopefully, I have an overwhelming feeling of ttc before AF. My head tells me no but my heart is saying do it...

I worked out if we tried and we were successful the baby would be here in 2021, and I think that's giving me the strong urge. Although I know I shouldn't 💔...

I just wish I was still pregnant, I would be 24 weeks tomorrow and excited for my little girl to be due in July, loved how she was going to be a summer baby as I was one too. I'm really struggling with my head to come to terms things aren't going to these plans I had. Life really is s**t...

Sorry for the long post, having one of they mornings x

[Kiki275]

@No1worrier it's completely normal to want to TTC straight away. If that's what you want to do then go for it. Just consider before how you'll feel IF AF does arrive or if she doesn't but tests are still negative, etc. TTC is a horrendous emotional rollercoaster at the best of times, never mind straight after the pain that is a tmfr. Only you know what's best for you but please be kind to yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself xx

[Kiki275]

@CorkViaDublin thinking of you, hope everything is okay?xx

[Alice40p]

@No1worrier that is completely normal feeling. It feels like a kick in the stomach not to be pregnant after tfmr. My consultant asked me not to try until at least one cycle as she said the time before that is a grey area that they don’t understand much about. Having said that, please go ahead with whatever your instincts tell you is best for you. xx

[BloodyHellAudrey]

@No1worrier

Sorry if I have already asked this, but with the negative HPT yesterday and the idea my body should be gearing up for ovulation in the next couple of weeks hopefully, I have an overwhelming feeling of ttc before AF. My head tells me no but my heart is saying do it...

I worked out if we tried and we were successful the baby would be here in 2021, and I think that's giving me the strong urge. Although I know I shouldn't 💔...

I just wish I was still pregnant, I would be 24 weeks tomorrow and excited for my little girl to be due in July, loved how she was going to be a summer baby as I was one too. I'm really struggling with my head to come to terms things aren't going to these plans I had. Life really is s**t...

Sorry for the long post, having one of they mornings x

Absolutely echoing everything kiki said. It is so, so hard after a TFMR. Have you been advised to take prescribed 5mg of folic acid?

I did start TTC again immediately after I stopped bleeding. I desperately wanted to be pregnant before my boys due date, something positive to focus on and get me through. As it is, I had a chemical in January and then actually came on AF on his due date, which felt real cruel. But now it's passed, it feels easier, I'm depressed, but the pressure (that I'd put on myself) is gone.

I found it much more difficult with pregnancy "I should be xx weeks" milestones and dates rather than "I should have a xx week/month old" so far. I have had to remove myself from one of my Mum groups because one of the women there's pregnancy ran basically parallel with mine, and I can't deal with her/her baby.

I'm thinking of you, you are in the immediate hell of dealing with everything being new and I'm so so sorry.

[BloodyHellAudrey]

@Alice40p

I received my NIPT results today and it was all fine! What a relief 😅! Now waiting for the 16 week early anomaly scan.

Amazing news!! I'm so pleased for you! Xx

[BloodyHellAudrey]

[quote Mummabear40]@Alice40p fantastic news, so happy for you!

I had my 20 week scan today and all was fine, finally I feel relieved and relaxed xx[/quote]
This is absolutely wonderful news! Congratulations! I am so pleased for you! What a huge relief xx

[No1worrier]

Feeling alot better today and not as desperate, I have been given some tablets to help anxiety from the doctors so I took one yesterday and today and definitely feel a lot calmer. Something just took over my head yesterday that I was fixated on being pregnant before AF.

I'm just going to play as we wont try and stop it happening but won't put pressure on us to try. If we dtd around the time I ovulate then so be it if we don't we don't. I'm going to focus on getting my AF and then ttc properly after that.

Must of been one of those days for alot of us but today is a new day 💗 x

[Alice40p]

@No1worrier glad you are feeling better today, I found that the grief and desperation both came in waves for me! You are doing very well. These miserable dark days would soon pass. xx

[NoCallerID]

@Alice40p oh never mind, thank you so much for checking your notes for me though. I'm feeling a bit deflated about it, Friday evening I received an email from the solicitor saying it's unlikely we have a case due to not being able to prove that the infection was caused by the RPOC.... frustrating, but what I suspected. At least I'll know that I've tried everything.

On a different note - I had the faintest line yesterday. This morning (after a sleepless night) the lines have gone darker. It's such a big relief but I know we've got a long long way to go. I told my husband last night straight away and we both said how sad it is that we can't even get excited about it anymore because the last 4 times it just didn't last. Really hoping the doxy did work and this pregnancy continues. One day at the time.....!!!

[Kiki275]

@NoCallerID that's not good about the solicitors news but at least you tried.
Hoping the line keeps getting stronger for you xx

[Mummabear40]

@NoCallerID sorry to hear about the solicitors news. However good news on your line getting stronger, will be keeping everything crossed for you x

[No1worrier]

My temp took another dip this morning, and my RHR is increasing slightly, telltale signs for me that ovulation is round the corner but my OPKs are still very low. Did anyone who done OPKs before and after their loss see a difference in ovulation? It's only been 12 days since the birth of my daughter is this normal for it to be so soon? Remember I had a negative HPT on Saturday x

[BloodyHellAudrey]

@No1worrier

My temp took another dip this morning, and my RHR is increasing slightly, telltale signs for me that ovulation is round the corner but my OPKs are still very low. Did anyone who done OPKs before and after their loss see a difference in ovulation? It's only been 12 days since the birth of my daughter is this normal for it to be so soon? Remember I had a negative HPT on Saturday x

I found the first couple of cycles after losing DS2 were very out of kilter. I had a couple of weeks of bleeding post birth, then a couple of weeks of nothing, then I started my period and that cycle was very short, 24 days in total. It was very up and down temp wise if I remember correctly. How are you feeling today?

[No1worrier]

Thanks for your reply, I have been feeling okay today and yesterday, I have caved and taken tablets from my doctor to help with my anxiety and sleeping so that might be the reason. I'm building up the courage to go out a walk by the end of the week which I think will be really good for us.

I feel preparing myself and my body for ttc is keeping me going too. Just hope to see a positive OPK soon 🤞🏼 x

[BloodyHellAudrey]

Taking tablets isnt "caving" my lovely, it's self care, and at the moment, you need all the self care you can get. You have been through an earth shattering trauma.

I lost my appetite completely and compensated by resea, buying and taking every fertility related vitamin I couget my hands on. Same as you, in a bid to ready my body for TTC again. TTC in itself is exhausting, TTC after a TFMR I've found to be a hugely emotional and exhausting process. It's the hope that keeps you going.

[Alice40p]

@NoCallerID sorry to hear about the solicitors, these things are always difficult to prove. What is RPOC? Great news about the lines, yes I know what you mean, we have all lost our naivety, and it is not the same excitement that people generally feel. Keeping everything crossed 🤞 for you !

[Alice40p]

@No1worrier glad the anxiety tablets are helping you! Sorry I don’t know much about ovulation kits.

[Kiki275]

@No1worrier you definitely didn't "cave", you did exactly what was needed to regain some control. I didn't start OPKs until I was actively TTC. My cycles never regulated but that was due to Thyroid issues so OPKs did help. I also did BBT on my last (successful) cycle x

[NoCallerID]

Thanks @Kiki275 @Alice40p @Mummabear40 so far they have gone stronger since yesterday and I'm full on feeling it, so I might just be a tiny more hopeful tonight. X

[sickofthisyear]

Hi ladies, can I join? Feeling a bit out of place on the other TTC threads, I don't feel like I can share my circumstances and also they're not the place for the negative thoughts and worry that is so hard to overcome once you've been through a TFMR.
My due date would have been next week. 😔 Currently 1DPO of cycle #3 and hoping for a some better luck this year.
Congrats @NoCallerID! Everything crossed for you 🤞🏻☺️

[Alice40p]

@sickofthisyear Sorry to hear about your loss. This is the worst club to be part of! All the very best for you TTC.

[Kiki275]

@sickofthisyear totally get it! Sorry to hear about your loss, have you made any plans for next week?xx

[Alice40p]

Is anyone else having a bad hay fever at the moment? Mine is very bad at the moment. Wonder at what point in pregnancy they can prescribe us something for it.