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Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

721 replies

Alittlexmasmagic · 21/03/2021 06:56

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

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17
Aimz40 · 18/01/2022 16:41

@Tigger85 congratulations on the birth of your little boy, such lovely news. 💙💙💙

URMysunshine4 · 18/01/2022 20:21

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy @Tigger85, I hope you’re healing well from your section.
I can only imagine the mixture of emotions, hugs to you xx

CorkViaDublin · 27/01/2022 17:07

hey guys... i'm back. its been hell. just so many miscarriages and two failed IVF cycles. but i'm back pregnant again. only 4 weeks and 5 days, but i can't really function i am so anxious.

Aimz40 · 27/01/2022 17:24

@CorkViaDublin are you pregnant naturally then? I've just had a failed round of ivf, very disappointing results. I however, still have hope.

Aimz40 · 27/01/2022 17:26

@CorkViaDublin also congratulations. I can only imagine the anxiety you must be feeling. All I can advise is to try to stay relaxed and take each day at a time xx

CornflowerBlue100 · 27/01/2022 19:05

Congratulations @Tigger85!

@Aimz40 - unfortunately it was a nothing and I'm now in another TTW. Since the TMFR I really find it hard to discern whether things are PMS or not and am constantly convincing myself one way or another.

Hormone tests came back ok but with the crucial caveat "for my age". Upshot, I don't have long before we have to think about the IVS route.

Aimz40 · 28/01/2022 14:30

@CornflowerBlue100 sorry to hear that it was nothing, fingers crossed that this is your month. Its good news that the tests came back OK 😊

For some reason this round of ivf I didn't respond to the medication very well, they only got two eggs and they were damaged by the icsi process, so I didn't even get 1 embryo to transfer. Its so frustrating as we can't afford another 5000 pounds, I didn't want to do icsi, I was just trusting the embryologist 😭

My advice about ivf is don't leave it too long, everything seems to take forever waiting for appointments etc best to do it while you have time on your side. Xx

URMysunshine4 · 28/01/2022 21:10

@CorkViaDublin sorry to hear you’ve been through a very tough time.

Gentle congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope all goes well for you. Those early days are so tough, hopefully you have some support around you, hugs xx

CorkViaDublin · 03/02/2022 14:59

hi guys sorry i couldn't remember password. have my first scan tomorrow I'm at 6 weeks tomorrow and feeling very nauseated
yes @Aimz40 two of our cycles failed and then it seems to have happened naturally.

CorkViaDublin · 03/02/2022 15:28

have any of you who are considering ivf been tried on letrozole or clomid?

Aimz40 · 03/02/2022 15:47

@CorkViaDublin bless you, it's Rotten feeling nauseated, but I would give anything to feel that again 😭

I did 6 months of chlomid before my 3 rounds of ivf, it didn't work.
I've just had my review with the consultant, he basically said I could carry on with ivf, in the hope we find that good embryo, or move on to donor eggs. I said I would like to try naturally for a while, he said that he's had lots of patients that it's happened for naturally after ivf, my tfmr was a spontaneous conception. He's going to prescribe me 6 months of letrozole to give us a helping hand.

CorkViaDublin · 04/02/2022 14:59

@Aimz40 that's what happened me. we did two cycles of IVF in nov and december and neither resulted in any day 5 embryos. and we have just conceived naturally this time. all ok on the scan today - 5+6 . i hope this is a healthy egg

Aimz40 · 04/02/2022 15:40

@CorkViaDublin that's really good news that everything is good at this stage. I have everything crossed that this is the one for you. X

I'm convinced that I'm all out of chances and I have no good eggs left 😭 I keep crying. I need to pull myself together and just try to be as healthy as I can and give it one final shot with the letrozole.

CorkViaDublin · 04/02/2022 15:50

i'm not sure of your history - what makes you so sure about your egg reserve? xxx it's such a scary journey xxx

Aimz40 · 04/02/2022 16:39

@CorkViaDublin I always struggled to conceive, I was shocked in 2014 when I finally got pregnant, that ended in miscarriage. In 2015 I managed to get pregnant a second time and had my little boy in Feb 2016, I wanted to give him a sibling so have been trying ever since. I did 6 months of clomid, 2 rounds of ivf, they told me after the 2nd ivf that I had an egg problem, they fertilise abnormally, I've also got low amh so the quality isnt fantastic. They told me it would've been the reason for miscarriage and that I've probably always had it, she was suprised I had my little boy. They told me I could do ivf again but my chances weren't great, but then they were just looking for one good egg. Whilst waiting for my next round of ivf I changed my diet, I did keto and cut out dairy and gluten and I got pregnant naturally. It was just before my 40th birthday, I finally thought we would have our happy ending, but unfortunately the baby had downsydnrome and I had a Tfmr on October 15th last year. I just did ivf again and they said it looks as if my amh has declined further, the icsi damaged the eggs which indicated they aren't great quality.

Brooklily · 06/02/2022 12:49

Hi everyone, I've been a bit quiet of late as I prepared for the arrival of my rainbow baby boy.
I'm happy to share that he arrived safely last week via C-Section at 2
37 weeks a little earlier than we were expecting due to concerns about his growth.
His cleft lip is only cleft lip, no palate, so I am able to feed him myself which is amazing. He is absolutely perfect.
Thank you to everyone who was so supportive during this pregnancy, especially at the beginning and during the anomaly scans.
And sending love and strength to everyone on their own journey 💙💕

CorkViaDublin · 07/02/2022 16:51

you have really been through the ringer @Aimz40 - i'm so delighted you have your little boy and i'm sorry you had to deal with the TFMR - i had the exact same situation on my first pregnancy and am just hoping and praying for even one kid

CorkViaDublin · 07/02/2022 16:52

@Aimz40 how do the eggs fertilise abnormally if you dont mind me asking

Aimz40 · 08/02/2022 18:23

@Brooklily congratulations on the birth of your little boy, what lovely news 💙💙💙
How lovely that you are able to feed him, it's such a magical time. I wish you all the best, enjoy every moment, they grow up so fast. Xx

@CorkViaDublin we had a consultation with the professor at the crm in Coventry, she had been watching our embryos with the embroscope. She said that they multiply too many times at the beginning, the embryos either don't Implant, lead to miscarriage or have genetic issues.

I know how very lucky I am to have my little boy, after my TFMR i said to my partner that I don't know how people go through they and then go home to an empty house, it was hard looking after him when I was so sad, but It would've been so much harder without him.
He is constantly asking me for a brother, he asked me the other day why I can't have another baby, so I told him I'm too old and my eggs are bad. He told me just to wait and see what happens, he said forget doing all the injections from the doctors and just wait and see, because there might be another one in there, he said that I didn't know he was in there and then he came out.
So I'm going to keep trying for him.

URMysunshine4 · 10/02/2022 13:28

Congratulations @Brooklily. That’s great you can feed him yourself.

I delivered a baby girl on Tuesday at 39 weeks, induced due to rising blood pressure. We are so in love!
Thanks to all for your support on our journey. I wish everyone the best xx

Crazywithhope · 16/02/2022 14:28

Hi all,

I haven’t posted on here before but have read through your stories and it breaks my heart to hear of so many people struggling in such an awful way.

I have also seen the good news of a few and congratulations to you and your new little rainbow babies.

We have been TTC our first since June 20, I had a TFMR a year ago next week and since have had a 7week miscarriage and a chemical. I am now 8 weeks pregnant again, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions already but had a good scan yday. I am struggling now with thinking about the testing ahead, I will have a nipt at 10 weeks but I’m so afraid of the outcome and where we go from there. I’m having nightmares every night and struggling to think about anything else already.

Aimz40 · 17/02/2022 22:14

@URMysunshine4 congratulations on the birth of your baby girl 💕

@Crazywithhope I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment, it's really positive that your 8 week scan went well. I think that my advice would be to just try your best to take every day at a time, try to stay as much in the present moment as possible. Perhaps you could try meditation, acupuncture or reflexology to help with the anxiety. How is your partner holding up, are you finding it easy to talk to each other? Me and my partner have been having counselling together, I find it really helps.

Stay strong. X

reo123 · 27/02/2022 14:13

So lovely to see support for all us ladies having gone through TFMR.
We found out New Years Eve that our baby wouldn't survive birth due to lethal skeletal dysplasia. Over a week later I gave birth. We decided not to find out baby's gender or spend anytime with them - a decision I still don't regret, although the midwives assured me I will at some point. We had to do what we needed to get through such a traumatic time. Thankfully the brilliant midwife who delivered our baby made sure we brought home baby's info which we have put away with the view to look at it when/if we are ready.
We are now awaiting test results and my anxiety is through the roof. At this time there's no way I think I can go through pregnancy again (I have no children) as I will be miserable.

I also feel so alone. Like no one really understands how I feel. Counselling doesn't seem to be having much impact right now...

Kiki275 · 01/03/2022 08:32

@reo123 I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through. You already need to know everything about your baby that you need to. They were loved, wanted & beautiful... the rest are just details xx

Aimz40 · 01/03/2022 11:31

@reo123 hiya, I'm sorry to hear your story it's such a traumatic time and just really shit 😭

I can relate to feeling alone, at first my family sent me flowers and were supportive, but then everyone just gets on with their lives and that leaves you alone with feelings of anger/sadness. I hated that no one ever mentioned it or asked me how I was holding up, it was like it never happened and because it was a taboo subject it was harder to deal with, it left me alone with feelings of guilt and shame.

My TFMR was in October and I'm still very sad/depressed about it. My due date would've been 28th March, so that is coming up. I have found that booking things to look forward to has made me feel a little better, i think I'm going to book in to a spa hotel at the end of the month and just have some time together with my partner and some pampering.

I know you said counselling isn't having an impact, but I would keep at it, I'm actually looking forward to my session tonight, it will give me chance to air how sad and depressed I'm feeling, its not always easy to voice it.

Take care of yourself xxx