Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

Hi everyone i hope you don’t mind me joining in I am sorry for all that everyone has been through obviously I can sympathise having being in a similar situation. I would really love to conceive again after tfmr in January at 17 weeks. I am sorry I don’t know the abbreviations used on these pages. I have had my first period since. I am not exactly tracking ovulation I have the app on my phone I know it’s not accurate but I don’t want to get myself too obsessed I want to be as relaxed as possible. I am 30 and do have 2 children already my last baby was just over 3 years ago, both pregnancies were perfect no issues at all perfect delivery’s both at 39weeks and 6 with perfect weights. I’m really scared about getting pregnant too soon in case the same thing happens again. For about 6 weeks now I have been taking vitamin c dissolvable high strength, 4,000 vit d, folic acid and vitamin b complex. Weirdly I actually feel much less tired and I feel like my hair isn’t falling out as much (is was coming out in clumps during the pregnancy and before) so I assume that could be down to the vitamins I am taking. What things have you been taking to aid conception and what things in your diet did you change?

@xXxBoymumx2

Hiya, im sorry to hear that you've been through a TFMR, it very sad. It is scary the thought of it happening again, as you have two perfect children I would say that is a really good sign that your next pregnancy will also be fine. If you don't mind me asking what was the reason for the Tfmr?

I am taking a right concoction of suppliments, my ivf consultant told me to take coenzyme q10, omega 3, 6, 9, probiotics and folic acid/mulit vitamin, dhea, and vitamin d
I am taking ubiquinol which is body ready form of coenzyme q10 and better absorbed.
I am also taking exta magnesium and melatonin.
I had been trying to get pregnant for 4 years, I had two rounds of failed ivf, I had a consultation with the professor that had watched my embryos, she told me eggs like protein and they like fat, she said that some people choose keto and the Mediterranean diet etc, after that I did strict keto and changed my vitams to proceive max drinks, they are designed for women over 35 or people that have been trying for a year, I compared them to other multi vitamins, they are by far superior, but have a price tag to go with it.
I also cut out dairy and gluten and got pregnant on the second month of trying with the changes. Unfortunately he had down Sydrome, but it improved my old rubbish eggs enough to actually get pregnant, so that's gotta count for something

@Aimz40 oh wow that’s is a concoction bless you taking all that in a day! My diagnosis was also Down syndrome. The weird thing was during that pregnancy I had a feeling that I wasn’t going to have 3 children and that something was going to happen. That was before diagnosis obviously. The weird thing was that during the cycle where I got pregnant I had the first Covid jab because of work I was forced to it. Didn’t have the second as I got an exemption and now it’s no longer required. So I haven’t started trying yet. I sort of wanted to loose weight and know that I am healthy but then again it will happen when it happens. So your last pregnancy improved your eggs? Have you read the book it starts with an egg? I have briefly had a read and found it quite useful and insightful

@xXxBoymumx2

I felt the sane about my pregnancy, I just felt like I was never going to have that baby, I felt different to my other pregnancy, I just felt like the hormones weren't right, I was right coz of the low PAPP-A.

I've not read it starts with the egg, but I get the idea. I've been following Gabriella Rosa, she's written books and does the fertility challenge, she talks about not using chemicals and stuff too. I've not used chemicals, for a while now if I can help it, I switched to natural everything.

Hi Everyone,

I had the news from hormone tests that I was less likely to fall pregnant, so have been making plans to see a fertility clinic. Then I had another bereavement (my beloved dog I had for 14 years), and unexpectedly got a puppy who is very cute but incredibly demanding, so haven't really been focussed on TTC.

Guess what? Had a BFP two Saturdays ago, so I'm 6 weeks now. Feeling sick, exhausted and sore boobs galore.

I'm trying not to think about it too much at the moment to be honest. I feel like it's inevitable there's something wrong, even if that's something we don't find out about until after birth and that terrifies me.

I haven't registered with antenatal yet, think I'll wait until 8 weeks - is that odd? I'm usually Ms Admin, so it feels odd to me but I don't think I can cope with it being that real yet.

So, there we are! It's going to be an interesting ride whatever happens 🙂

@MamaOh I'm sorry you find yourself here. It sounds like it's been a long road, which makes it all the more difficult. Are you able to access fertility treatment at all?

I made it to the 12 week scan and had a CVS. Waiting for the results of the full array now. We've had the all clear for trisomies, which was a relief because my OH and I are both approaching 40.

There's such a very small chance that we have the same condition as our TfMR, but it's still a chance and so it's difficult not to focus on the possibility that I could be the one in a million with the disorder in my egg cell line (I'm clear for the condition myself, but it can be in the eggs).

We'll know either way on Monday afternoon.

@MamaOh Yes, it'll be two weeks on Friday but we've made an appointment on Monday for the results because I am so traumatised about receiving the phone call last time. I'd rather know when and where we'll get the results and the hospital have been very accommodating.

I definitely think it's worth getting the advice. They do amazing things and it's easy to feel like your particular problems are undefeatable when actually someone out there knows exactly what to do.

As you say, fingers crossed all round.

Hello all, I'm so sorry for all your losses, it just rubbish isn't it!
Wondering if I could join you please? We have just decided to TTC #2 after a TFMR at 18weeks in Feb. unfortunately baby girl was poorly and the Dr believed i was already starting to miscarry 😢 It is coming up to her due date and we have decided we are open to trying again.
For those of you who have gone on to have a successful pregnancy after a TFMR how do you stop yourself from getting into a complete state and constantly worrying or is there no stopping it and you just have to go with it?
@MamaOh Thank you for pointing me in the direction of this thread.
@CornflowerBlue100 Hope your results came back ok

Im currently 13+5 after having a stillbirth in November.

My son had an extremely high NT result at 12 week scan (9.9) i had a cvs, and they did every test going and they couldn't find a cause for it (im still convinced it was my covid vaccine, i had it a week before finding out i was pregnant) . My son kept going until i went in with reduced movement at 30 weeks. I was essentially told he was dying. His body was so full of fluid, he wasnt going to survive. I had to wait until he passed a week later to be induced. It was the worst few weeks of my life.

This pregnant is stressful, and sad that i have no excitement. I dont want to tell anyone. Only our parents know and it will stay that way until i can't hide it any longer.

Hi All,

My CVS results were clear and I had a other scan last night to try and make it feel real. It really hasn't sunk in and I feel a bit odd/ungrateful because I still feel disconnected. I know it's a good thing in my brain, it just hasn't flown through to my emotions yet!

@emma1103 - that sounds incredibly traumatic. I fully understand what you're saying about wanting to not tell anyone - I feel the same. Yesterday, I was at a work event with a colleague who is only a few weeks ahead of me (first time) and chatting away happily about pregnancy symptoms. It was really hard not to join in but even though I've got good signs for this one, I still want to wait and see how long I can cover it up. I'm 15 weeks and still think I won't show for a few more with good wardrobe choices. I'd really like to keep it hidden until the 20 week scan but I don't think that's going to be feasible.

@HoneyPea - I think different people protect themselves in different ways. Oddly, I haven't really panicked about this pregnancy because I basically ignored it!

@MamaOh - thanks for your words of support. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

@emma1103 I also had the covid vaccine just before I got pregnant with my DD and have wondered if this could have affected anything. However I think she was just very poorly, T21, heart problems, cystic hygroma and the membranes attaching us had detached 😢
@CornflowerBlue100 That's great news about the CVS must be a tiny bit of a relief.
My problem is that I find it really hard to hide my pregnancies. With my first (DS) you could tell by 12 weeks and with my TFMR baby you could tell by 6/7 weeks. When I went for my 12week scan they kept checking their notes and asking me if I was sure I wasn't there for the 20week scan 🤦‍♀️ plus I get hyperemis so people kind of guess early on, although I think I would like the support from friends and family if something did happen again! X

Hi all. I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant following a tfmr in November last year. My baby was diagnosed with Edwards, and related heart problems, after the 12 week scan. I’m finding this pregnancy so hard, for lots of reasons including that I’m usually sick as a dog by six weeks and I’ve not had a hint of nausea. I don’t know what to do or how to feel at all. Should I be trying to think positive? Should I be trying to manage my own expectations and not get too excited? I don’t know whether to get an early scan because last time I had one at 8 weeks which was fine, and gave us false hope really.

I’m so sorry to read all of your stories and am holding hope and light for all of you 💖

@MamaOh thank you so much for such a thoughtful reply. You said so much that I needed to hear. The scan pictures of my lost baby are so precious to me and it makes sense to capture that again whatever happens.

I’ve just this morning booked an NIPT for 10+2 and they do a quick scan check with that so I have that to look forward to. I’m hoping that will support my peace of mind through to the 20 week scan if the results come back clear.

How is your ttc journey so far? I found that extremely difficult too - wishing and waiting and trying for something that could just as easily bring another heartbreak as it could bring joy. I hope you’re taking your own advice and being kind to yourself 💛

Ah thank you for sharing and I hope the two week wait goes quickly and smoothly for you! When is AF due to arrive?

Now you’ve had three losses are you eligible for more medical support? I’ve heard people say three losses can often trigger investigations etc.

It’s great that you seem to be feeling mentally well and able to tackle work and talk feelings with your partner - it’s such a rollercoaster and it’s almost impossible to tackle alone and without distractions.

I’m very very lucky to have a lovely and healthy 3yo at home. I feel like we are meant to be a family of four but deep down I do know that if it never happens for us then we have been blessed a lot already and we have everything we need to be happy. So that helps a lot, in honesty.

We started trying for number 2 in Jan 2021. Took seven months to conceive, had our tfmr in the November and then got pregnant again six months later. And here I am now, wishing the days away and desperate to get every milestone ticked off!

@Dowisetrepla I can only imagine what an anxious time it is for you at the moment. I think you need to do anything that will make you feel more relaxed. Good luck and please let us know how you are getting on.

@MamaOh Well I'm kind of in shock at the moment. We decided at the beginning of the month to see how it goes and officially start trying. AF was due today, I've been waking up feeling nauseous the last few nights and I'm supposed to be going out drinking all day with DH tomorrow so I thought I should take a test. Got this BFP this afternoon!