Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@Dia12 did you not find out from your NIPT? Yes, the due date has so many meaning but this baby may not be born on that exact same date.
@kiki275 I feel a bit like you, I don’t mind either a boy or a girl and I just want a healthy and “normal” baby. I am leaning a bit more towards girl like you as our tfmr baby was also a boy.
@Mummabear40 aww that’s nice. I have a good feeling for your 15 weeks scan. Is your FMU offering you a 16 weeks scan.
How did you all feel about combined screening and NIPT as opposed to CVS. Did any of you who are over 40 still have a high risk just because of the age from your combined screening? I am thinking of doing a NIPT and I will anyway have the combined screening at 12 weeks. I’m still undecided about CVS or aminio.

@Alice40p I refused the screening and just had the NIPT as I was told I’d screen high anyway as I’m 40.
I’ve not been offered a 16 week scan no, I thought I would be but they’ve said nothing. x

I also didn't have the biochemical screening, the MW didn't see the point of it as its screening for the same anomalies and is less accurate than NIPT anyway....but she did measure the NT for my reassurance.
As the NIPT was done by the hospital, they didn't check for gender - apparently they only look at T13/18/21! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hope you all had a good weekend? Did anyone manage anything nice for Valentine's Day?

Oh also, I was assured that with a low risk NIPT result that FMU would be satisfied enough to not recommend cvs/amnio as those procedures themselves carry a greater risk of harm. Also, as preg progresses the scans will also give more insight into the baby's development.
I was convinced by this.
See how you feel nearer the time @Alice40p, there is no right/wrong. x

Thanks @Mummabear40 and @Dia12. Our trust doesn’t do NIPT but I think I will do it privately. I had a debrief with FMU consultant about my tfmr baby. I mentioned to her that I was pregnant. She asked me to do the combined screening even if I do NIPT. She said the pappa and hcg levels help them with other things too not just the trisomies. She also said I wouldn’t automatically be classified as high risk just because of my age.

I tossed and turned all last night worried about my scan today, hoping seeing the little one today gives me reason to relax.

@Mummabear40 hope everything goes well. Will be thinking of you x

@Mummabear40 Hope everything goes well for you today!

Thinking of you today mummabear Hoping it all goes well x

Thanks ladies, I’m so nervous 😟 x

It's an awful feeling @Mummabear40 I was full of dread the morning of mine. Make sure DH is as close to the waiting area as possible. They'd started scanning me before he arrived which really didn't help my nerves.x

My scan went well, baby is measuring as he should be and heart beat looking good. She said he looked very healthy. I feel a lot calmer and so glad I went. xx

@Mummabear40 that's amazing news! Glad you're feeling more confident now x

Lovely news @Mummabear40 x

Good news @Mummabear40 xx

Great news @Mummabear40!

Ah I'm so pleased the scan went well. How are you doing now? Have you started to show?
I'm getting back to feeling more normal besides the pelvic pain. Getting quite anxious about approaching 16w now as this was the time we had the tfmr....and days seem to be moving so slowly.
Hope everyone's doing well.

Hi everyone, Just got these through, really relieved. 20wk scan in April which is the hurdle I'm worrying about most. I can totally empathise with the tmfr week being the most worrying @Dia12.
Hope everyone is okay?x

Oh absolutely fantastic news @Kiki275, so pleased for you and your partner. Such a relief isn't it. Roll on week 20! xxx

@kiki275 great news, you must be so happy.

@Dia12 I feel ok and am definitely showing, I look as I did at 20 weeks with my first!!
I can definitely empathise with the anxiety around the TFMR date as honestly I was a mess at the beginning of the week passing mine, I just couldn’t stop crying and thinking something was wrong xx

I had baby loss dreams again last night, dreamt that I went to the toilet and started heavily bleeding, really hoping these pass soon. Does anyone else suffer with this? x

That must have been awful. Hope you're ok. Unfortunately me too @Mummabear40. I had a really vivid dream that I gave birth and the baby was physically disabled, I just remember being really distraught.....it's only happened twice but not very nice.

@kiki275 that’s great news. By the way, the daffodils are out now!
@Dia12 completely empathise with the tfmr date.
@Mummabear40 I too had a very realistic miscarriage dream a few days ago!
I’m ok apart from vague aches and pains and sometimes sleepless night.

@Alice40p I've got some in a vase but most are still fighting their way through the ground up in this part of the world. Can't wait though 😊

Is anyone a little upset at last nights news? After wanting for so long to be able to see people and talk in person, I'm now slightly terrified. I don't want to tell people my news because I then don't want to tell them something happened. Whilst Im in my little lockdown bubble I can cope and feel like I can manage the gossip. My little bump looks like lockdown blubber. I don't want to be judged for not being excited or deeming people unworthy of knowing. My 20 wk scan is 7th April which seems like such a milestone and so far away!

I never had counselling following the boys but I've automatically been referred to the perinatal mental health team, which can only be a good thing.

Can understand your concerns @Kiki275. It does feel like we're in a little bubble and free of the stress of questions and judgement. By the time lockdown eases properly, you'll definitely be showing. Counselling will certainly help.
On a plus though, once past 20w perhaps we can all start to enjoy our pregnancies and do all the things normal mums-to-be do!
I have missed that part, especially as this is our first.